


Dank Memes Broken Dreams

by Munchingpotatoes123



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: "Cokc", "I think im getting dick" -Leon 2k17, "Penor", ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): The Fanfiction, 10th chapter's kinda eeeeeeeh, A lot of them - Freeform, AU where the blackened is the person who drinks the last bit of OJ, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, And by a long story i mean the 14th chapter, Anime Fight Scenes, Ass Slapping, Bad Puns, But he's always precious so, Celeste is a kinky little shit, Celeste is terrified of chocolate-covered pretzels, Celeste_beating_the_shit_out_of_Jill_with_a_bag_of_gummy_bears.JPG, Chapter 19 is the most quotable chapter i feel, Chihiro likes garlic bread, Chihiro's going to be a box of cheerios, Crack, Cute, Cuz this is this story, Don't give Touko the power to do anything ever, Drug Use, Drunken politics, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, FUCK YEA, Fanfictions in a fanfiction, Filthy, Fourth of July, Fuyuhiko hides behind Peko like a lil bitch, Gay, Genocide Jill has a stabbing fetish, Gundham's not in this story, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIYOTAKA, Hagakure isnt, Hagakure loves chickens, Hagakure's a drug dealer, Halloween Costumes, Hanzo's a fucking cunt, Happy Birthday Sakura, Hina ships it, How Do I Tag, I write these while im high on redbull, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Is there a rating higher than Mature but not Explicit?, Ishimom - Freeform, Jill is pure filth, Junko drinks vodka in a chapter so, Junko hates puns, Junko is an edgy veggie, Junko is v sassy, Junko plays DND, Just Roll With It, Kibo is a precious been, Kirigiri has a thing for OJ, Kittens, Komaeda is a hope slut, Komaeda is there for half a chapter don't get too excited, Laser Tag, Leon not so much, Leon shoved a baseball bat up his butt, Like legit this isn't how I should tag, Lots of side-tangents turning into chapters, M/M, Matryoshka Tiddy, Memes, Mentions of Sex, Momdo, Mondo and Sayaka bond over mascara, Mondo being a precious gay baby, Mondo is good bf, Mukuro almost shoot Junko, Mukuro and Junk are going to be Zack and Cody, Mukuro is done with Junko's shit, Mukuro watches the Teletubbies, Mukuro's a fucking savage btw, NDRV3 Kiddos, Naegi and Togami are kinky shits, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ow the Edge, Pokemon's in there for like 2 sentences, RUNNING IN THE 90'S ITS THE WAY I LIKE TO BE, SDR2 Kiddos, STAHP, She's also a closet weeb, Shepherd pie, Shiny Pokemon, So does Taka, So is Hina, So is the 11th chapter, Sparkling Water, Taka is also a precious cinnamon bun, Taka lives and breathes puns, This story is literally a sitcom, This was meant to be 15 chapters but its too much fun to write, Togami uses the XD emoticon unironically when PM'ing Naegi, Touko is my spirit animal, Touko no stop y, Uploading Halloween chapters in November B), What else is new, Who doesn't like chickens tbh, Why Did I Write This?, Yaoi, Yasuhiro and Leon bust crime by being loud in bed, ask togami he'd know, but his San-D is and that's all that matters, chatroom au, chihiro beats up jill it's gr8, chihiro is a v good hacker, chihiro is best sassy child, crackships, emoji movie - Freeform, explicit themes, flustered idiots, gay competitions, gummy bears, i don't know what to write, im out of ideas aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, in later chapters there's some NSFW stuff, irregular updates, its a long story, jUST ROLL WID IT, literally everyone is gay, lots of swearing, make out sess, naegi takes off togami's shirt at one point, navy seals copypasta, o fuck where do i begin, oh shit i don't have a lenny face tag wtf????, ok no i take it back im not sorry, overwatch is talked about for like half a chapter, shakespear quotes, so much Goddamn filth, so much filth, so much gay, sorta - Freeform, that should be a tag, the 14th chapter is pure filth im sorry, the entirety of the 8th chapter's a fucking mess tbh, this is a crackfic gone wrong, this isn't smut i swear, tiddy - Freeform, togami is a meanie panini, wait no shit don't quote me on that, yeeeaaaaaaaaaah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 04:42:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 48,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11395572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munchingpotatoes123/pseuds/Munchingpotatoes123
Summary: Yaoi: Ok wait r u guys on a donut date or?????Yaoi: I need to knowYaoi: For reasons19toomanypilots: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)420blazeit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Dispear: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Koko kirigiri: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Souldier: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Progamer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Cornhair: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Precious Cinnabon: Wait, what does the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) emoticon mean?Cornhair: SEECornhair: I TOLD UCornhair: HE’S PRECIOUS CINNABONOtakool: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Luckster: You’re lateBasically this is a chatroom au crackfic chocked with memes. And swearing. Lots of swearing. I'll try to update as much as possible but hey this shitshow of a fic is bound to end sometimeThis story is 98% DR1 kiddos, everything SDR2 are in chapters 17, 24, 27, 33, 36, and 38. Just sayin in case you were going to read the fic for the SDR2 characters.Also the V3 characters are in chapter 39 (just fyi).





	1. The Beginning...of the End

**Author's Note:**

> Look at the end notes

Aoi Asahina: Lifedonuts  
Byakuya Togami: Legs4days  
Celestia Ludenberg: Celstia Lunanberg  
Chihiro Fujisaki: Progamer  
Hifumi Yamada: Otakool  
Junko Enoshima: Dispear  
Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Precious Cinnabon  
Kyouko Kirigiri: Koko Kirigiri  
Leon Kuwata: 19toomanypilots  
Makoto Naegi: Luckster  
Mondo Oowada: Cornhair  
Mukuro Ikusaba: Souldier  
Sakura Oogami: Cherry Blossom  
Sayaka Maizono: Hatsune Miku  
Touko Fukawa: Yaoi  
Yasuhiro Hagakure: 420blazeit

Luckster has added 15 other people to Unnamed group chat.  
Luckster has changed the name of Unnamed group chat to Dank Memes Broken Dreams.

Celestia Lunanberg: What is this?  
Legs4days: Stupid. This is stupid.  
Luckster: Togami y is ur name this I cant  
Legs4days: I lost a bet shut up.  
Cornhair: With who?  
Legs4days: None of your goddamn business.  
Hatsune Miku: Ow the edge  
Legs4days: >:(  
Precious Cinnabon: Mondo why did you change my name to Precious Cinnabon?  
Precious Cinnabon: Also why is your name so ridiculous?  
Cornhair: Ur previous name was boring.  
Cornhair: Also my name isn’t ridiculous, thats mean :(  
Precious Cinnabon: I’ll change it later anyways  
420blazeit: Guys really it’s 4 AM in the morning can u not?  
19toomanypilots: bro I this is an acceptable time for memes  
19toomanypilots: also ur name makes me uncomfortable  
Progamer: Yes I agree with Leon  
420blazeit: :<  
19toomanypilots: ow my heart stop being cute  
420blazeit: :>  
Dispear: ok it’s been like 2 minutes and these two are already being gay this is a new record  
Lifedonut: guys so like i went to this donut place and they had corn donuts should i buy them or????????  
Yaoi: First, ew, and second who eats donuts at 4 AM?  
Lifedonut: MEEEEE  
Lifedonut: I’m going to try it yes  
Luckster: how is it? Is it good?  
Luckster: Hina?  
Cherry Blossom: She’s throwing it up so she can’t reply  
Luckster: o  
Luckster: :/  
Yaoi: Ok wait r u guys on a donut date or?????  
Yaoi: I need to know  
Yaoi: For reasons  
19toomanypilots: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
420blazeit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Dispear: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Koko kirigiri: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Souldier: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Progamer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cornhair: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Precious Cinnabon: Wait, what does the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) emoticon mean?  
Cornhair: SEE  
Cornhair: I TOLD U  
Cornhair: HE’S PRECIOUS CINNABON  
Otakool: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: You’re late  
Otakool: I just woke up from the thousand notifications ok I had to catch up ;~;  
Lifedonut: nooooOOOOOO00000  
Cherry Blossom: You’ve got Hina all flustered now  
Yaoi: AW  
Yaoi: U two are so gay it’s precious  
Lifedonut: O/////////////O  
Cherry Blossom: Hina left  
Cherry Blossom: brb  
Legs4days: See? I told you this was stupid.  
Luckster: No need to be a meanie panini  
Legs4days: What does that even mean?  
19toomanypilots: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: NO  
Celestia Lunanberg: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: IT’S NOT EVEN SEXUAL NO  
Lifedonut: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: You were right togami this was a bad idea  
Dispear: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Legs4days: I’m always right  
Legs4days: I’m going to sleep now  
Progamer: Sleep is for the weak  
Progamer: I AM STRONK  
Cherry Blossom: me baby  
Cherry Blossom: I’m so proud  
Progamer: >:3  
Koko Kirigiri: U guys. I need to make an announcement  
Yaoi: Is it gay?  
Koko Kirigiri: Not this one  
Yaoi: :(  
Souldier: What is it with u and gay?  
Yaoi: gay  
Cornhair: yes  
420blazeit: yes  
19toomanypilots: yes  
Hatsune Miku: yes  
Koko Kirigiri: Anyways, tomorrow I’ll be goin to paris  
Yaoi: with ur GIIIIIIIIIIIRLFRIEEEEND ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Koko Kirigiri: first, NO, second, NO, and third, NO  
Yaoi: It’s alright Kirigiri literally everyone here is gay  
Koko Kirigiri: well ok I have a flight tomorrow at 10 am I should probably sleep  
Celestia Lunanberg: Ok bye  
Celestia Lunanberg: I should probably go to sleep as well  
Luckster: ditto  
Hatsune Miku: yea me 2  
Progamer: U guys are no fun :(  
Progamer: I’ll go play Kirby or some shit to cheer myself up  
Precious Cinnabon: Mondo you’ve corrupted him, how dare you?  
Cornhair: What y me?  
Precious Cinnabon: You literally swear every other syllable, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was you.  
Precious Cinnabon: Remember that time I implemented a swear jar and had to stop it because you ran out of money?  
Cornhair: :(  
19toomanypilots: Yea I should probs sleep  
19toomanypilots: Bi


	2. Drunken fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in 10 minutes or 4th of July

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like togami tbh but he's hot

Cornhair: ‘MERICA  
Cornhair: FUCK YEA  
Luckster: Mondo plz we’re in Japan  
Cornhair: COMIN AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUKIN DAY YEA  
Luckster: we don’t even celebrate the 4th of july WERE NOT IN AMERICA  
Cornhair: ‘MERICA  
Cornhair: FUCK YA  
Koko Kirigiri: It’s 2 AM y  
Koko Kirigiri: Ishimaru plz explain  
Precious Cinnabon: He’s drunk again.  
Koko Kirigiri: -_-  
Precious Cinnabon: He burst into my room singing this crass song, interrupting my sleep and spilling beer on the carpet.  
Precious Cinnabon: We don’t even have any beer or alcohol and the nearest store that sells alcohol at this hour is a 2 hour drive.  
Lifedonut: woag  
Lifedonut: Now that’s dedication  
Souldier: yeh can u tell Mondo to stop doin that?  
Souldier:...Ishimaru?  
Precious Cinnabon: hes trying to drunkenyl make out with me help  
Progamer: o  
Progamer: queue toko  
Yaoi: Did someone call me? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Progamer: tbh at this point just change ur username to lenny face  
Yaoi: nah  
Yaoi: >:3  
Progamer: STOP   
Yaoi: >:3 >:3 >:3  
Progamer: STOPPPPPPPP  
Legs4days: Honestly, Ishimaru, I don’t know why you chose Oowada to be your partner.  
Legs4days: To be fair, you were probably very, very desperate for affection.  
Precious Cinnabon :...  
Luckster: Togami, that’s not very nice  
Legs4days: When was I ever about ‘being nice’?  
Luckster: :<  
19toomanypilots: wow togami thats a dick move  
19toomanypilots: u kno 2 of us could be assholes  
19toomanypilots: im surprised naegi wanted to be associated with u. No wonder he was ur first love, ur a dick  
Legs4days: For your information, I have had many relationships beforehand. Unlike some people.  
19toomanypilots: y are we friends with him again?  
420blazeit: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
420blazeit: wait how can i find the shrug emoji without like the happy face  
Luckster: He can be nice...sometimes.  
19toomanypilots: I find that very hard to believe  
Luckster: Ok ill admit it he’s super hot  
Luckster: BUT HE CAN STILL BE VERY CHARMING AND NICE TO HANG AROUND  
Hatsune Miku: That’s...surprisingly shallow of you, naegi  
Luckster: I SWEAR TO GOD HE’S ADORABLE WHEN HE’S FLUSTERED OK  
Luckster: OK OMG WAIT MONDO CAME IN AND IS CURRENTLY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF TOGAMI BRB  
420blazeit: I foresaw this happening  
19toomanypilots: nah u just saw mondo running to togami’s house  
420blazeit: still counts!  
Precious Cinnabon: >:3  
Progamer: OK IS EVERYONE GOING TO USE MY EMOJI NOW OR  
Progamer: brb im going to togami’s house to see mondo beating the shit out of togami  
420blazeit: me 2 i gotta see this  
19toomanypilots: yep count me in  
Yaoi: I dunno they might accidentally touch eachother in places so y not  
Luckster: ok y’know what i kno togami’s going to hate me for this but it’s 4 dollars to see dis  
Koko Kirigiri: good thing i brought a wallet just in case  
Celestia Lunanberg: yes me too  
Lifedonut: NAEGI THAT’S SO MEAN  
Lifedonut: 4 DOLLARS REALLY??? THAT’S RIPOFF >:(  
Souldier: ok me and Junko r on our way there wait for us  
Otakool: IM COMING 2 HOLD ON  
Luckster: yesssss, Ishimaru join us  
Precious Cinnabon: I’m going to catch up on some much-needed rest.  
Luckster: Aw :(

HOLY SHIT A TRANSITION TO THE NEXT MORNING

Legs4days: I’m suing all of you. Especially you, Naegi.  
Luckster: Hey, you would’ve done the same thing!  
Legs4days: No, because I actually respect my significant other.  
19toomanypilots: Hey, it was suuuuper worth it to watch Mondo kick the shit out of u  
Koko Kirigiri: I told you that attitude would come back to bite you someday ;)  
Lifedonut: Yeah! You were being super mean and not at all a team player!  
Progamer: I should’ve recorded that goddammit  
Hatsune Miku: I recorded it!  
Progamer: when do u not record things tbh  
Legs4days: I don’t understand why everyone thinks this is funny. I suffered serious injuries.  
Luckster: And by serious injuries u mean like 2 bruises and some mild discomfort  
Celestia Lunanberg: I’m kind of disappointed he didn’t hit you below the belt  
Souldier: me 2 man, he could’ve atleast knocked out a tooth or two  
Legs4days: All of you are psychopaths.  
420blazeit: Only when the person getting the shit kicked out of them is Togami :>  
Cherry Blossom: *nods understandingly*  
Legs4days: >:(  
Cornhair: It was so satisfying tbh  
Cornhair: I demand half of the revenues tho  
Luckster: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
Cornhair: I’m the one that kicked the shit out of togami  
Luckster:...fine u get like 2 dollars   
Cornhair: better than no dollars :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate titles: I wrote this in 10 minutes because 4th of july, ‘MEEEEERICA, this was not supposed to be second chapter but eyyyy, Hanzo’s a fucking cunt


	3. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *lenny face intensifies*

Cornhair: GUYS HLEP IM PANIKING I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO  
Luckster: What’s wong?! Did u break ur arm??? Did someone die??????????????  
Cornhair: I GOT TAKA ADDICTED TO THIS GAME NOW I CAN’T GET HIM TO GO TO SCHOOL I THINK I BROKE HIM  
Progamer: Did you try turning him on and off again?  
Yaoi: I’m pretty sure he did that last night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cornhair: NO SRSLY HE CAN’T MOVE LIKE WAT???????  
Hatsune Miku: Try telling him he’s an hour late for school  
Cornhair: That might work  
Cornhair: Ok that worked but now he’s yelling at me for lying  
Cornhair: Now he’s yelling at me for texting while he’s scolding me  
Cornhair: Now he’sUIOFHBOIDSUHSDFIOUFDSIUOBGDIUBGDIKDFSIKDSFIODFUSBFGSDIOUDSFOIUDGHDSFOIUBXsdiophdosphdsoiuhseoohOUHGSAOIAAUIHOIUABHbhelpmeOPIH0UIGGIUubfoiueffpouisdhosuiUOBFOSUPFBOUbpoiuifvbia  
Luckster: I consider that a success  
420blazeit: did he type out help me in the middle of that?  
420blazeit: eh, probably just a coincidence  
19toomanypilots: what it isn’t the spirits pleading for help?  
19toomanypilots: This isn’t the guy I fell in love with who are you???  
420blazeit: :P  
Luckster: u guys are so gay  
420blazeit: We are <3  
19toomanypilots: <3  
Yaoi: :DDDD  
Yaoi: Soi gay  
Legs4days: You people are all peasants.  
Progamer: That’s not what I heard you call Naegi last night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Souldier: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Despear: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cornhair: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Hatsune Miku: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Life donut: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cherry Blossom: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Celestia Lunanberg: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: Ok now Togami’s in the bathroom and won’t get out help  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: this iS SERIOSU  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
19toomanypilots: What even is this chat anymore  
Luckster: >:(  
Legs4days: I hate you all  
Luckster: Except for me?  
Legs4days has left the group  
Legs4days has joined the group  
Luckster: not so fast  
Legs4days: Let me die  
Legs4days has left the group  
Legs4days has joined the group  
Luckster: not on my watch  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Legs4days: I give up  
Precious Cinnabon: Guys, we have to get ready for school. It starts in preciously 55 minutes. Unlike what someone has misinformed me.  
Cornhair: I needed you to stop playing that video game  
Precious Cinnabon: That was rude, I was on a 20 player killstreak.  
Cornhair: I realized when you wouldn’t shut up at night while I was trying to sleep  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Otakool: I sincerely regret putting my phone on sound in the middle of class  
Precious Cinnabon: Middle of class?! Has school already started?!  
Otakool: Not for you, I just have early classes since apparently I don’t study hard enough  
Cornhair: Oh yeah I forgot about those classes. Leon and Yasuhiro are probably there by now too.  
Otakool: Yep  
Precious Cinnabon: You have early morning classes and you’re not even dressed yet?!  
Yaoi: Why was he undressed in the first place? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Precious Cinnabon: Well...you see…  
Cornhair: Good job Touko u made him flustered  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Precious Cinnabon: That doesn’t matter! For now, I need to get ready for class.  
Cornhair: Dude it starts in an hour, calm down  
Precious Cinnabon: Well, that may be so, but you have no excuse for being...5 minutes late for class!  
Cornhair: fine, fine, I’ll get ready  
Cornhair: peace  
Yaoi: One more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I’m out.  
Dispear: y


	4. A kind of weird and rushed chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things happen but it's still an abnormally short chapter. Sorry bout that, im working on a long ass multi-chapter pokemon fic rn so i don't have as much time for memes ;~;

19toomanypilots: I SWEAR TO GOD YASUHIRO I WILL END U  
420blazeit: What did I do?!  
19toomanypilots: U KNOW WHAT U DID  
420blazeit: I do?  
Legs4days: Of course he doesn’t; there’s only air between those ears of his.  
Luckster: O look at u using semicolons in a chat designed for memes  
Legs4days: Unlike some people, I like to be grammatically correct.  
Luckster: Omg he has the periods in the end and everything togami plz  
19toomanypilots: YOU STOOD ME UP ON OUR DATE U IDIOT ;~;  
420blazeit:...oops  
19toomanypilots: I was waiting for like an hour for u ;~;  
420blazeit: I forgot...sorry babe  
Yaoi: so did this ship sink or can I still ship it?  
Yaoi: Eh, I’ll ship it regardless  
Precious Cinnabon: Ship? I don’t understand. I demand an explanation.  
Cornhair: Taka plz  
Yaoi: I’ll give u an explanation bout everything in the dms  
Cornhair: What, no lenny face?  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cornhair: that’s toko  
Precious Cinnabon:...  
Precious Cinnabon: I just needed clarification on what shipping meant. I did not need a 4-page long paragraph about what yaoi is…  
Progamer: PFFFFFFFFT  
Cornhair: TOUKO I WILL END U  
Luckster: This feels like deja vu  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Precious Cinnabon: I did not need another 4-page long paragraph on what yuri was either  
Cornhair: You corrupted mah baby   
Yaoi: I’m 99% sure he already knew what yaoi was, Monodo  
Cornhair: Y IS THERE SO MUCH DETAIL TF IS WRONG WITH U?????????  
Cornhair: I thought this was Hifumi’s job...y’know...the ultimate FANFICTION writer  
Otakool: Yeah no I’m not touching anything yaoi-related with a 10-foot pole  
Koko Kirigiri: Ok I just got off from my flight back home from Paris and I look at my phone to find this  
Koko Kirigiri: Thanks for the warm welcome  
Yaoi: No prob bob  
Lifedonut: I’m going out swimming anyone wanna join me? Sakura is coming with me already  
Lifedonut: I know what ur thinking touko DO NOT CLICK THAT PASTE BUTTON  
Yaoi: Aw :(  
Precious Cinnabon: I could go for a swim; exercise is vital to keeping a well-regulated and healthy life style.  
Cornhair: Eh, sure, y not  
Cornhair: TOKOU DONT U DARE  
Yaoi: What if I do?  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Koko Kirigiri: -_-  
19toomanypilots: I’ll go as long as Yasuhiro isn’t  
420blazeit: I SAID I WAS SORRY  
19toomanypilots: SORRY ISN’T ENOUGH TO FIX MY BROKEN HEART  
19toomanypilots: ;~:  
420blazeit: What can I do to make it up?  
19toomanypilots: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Souldier: FUCK THEY’RE MULTIPLYING  
Souldier: Also I have nothing to do so eh y not  
Yaoi: Who’s “They’re multiplying”?  
Luckster: consider me in  
Luckster: Togami ur joining us  
Legs4days: No.  
Lifedonut: He probably has a swimsuit covered in diamonds and gold and doesn’t want to get it wet  
Legs4days: I am appalled that you think so low of me.  
Legs4days: I only use diamonds and rubies, thank you very much.  
Legs4days: Gold is for peasants like you.  
Progamer: :O  
Progamer: WAS THAT A SENSE OF HUMOR???  
Progamer: WHO R U  
Luckster: Ok yeh no togami’s joining us  
Legs4days: How come I don’t have a say in this?  
Luckster: You know you want to come with me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Legs4days: Does everyone here have the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) emoticon on their clipboard?  
Yaoi: Yes  
Legs4days: Fine...I’m coming.  
Luckster: :3  
Lifedonut: O MY GOD HIS SWIMSUIT ACTUALLY HAS DIAMONDS AND RUBIES IN THEM WHAT??????????????????????????????????

Alternate titles for this chapter: Leon got stood up, Togami has too much money, Touko has the Lenny face on clipboard at all times, Kyoko is tired of everyone’s shit, Precious Cinnabon isn’t so pure after all, gay.


	5. Gay sex and Overwatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> U read the title m8, u know what to expect

Hatsune Miku: 0P8HFEDOIUDSFHFSDIOUBNEDIOFDSBSDOIUKJBCFOISUADHSDIJHNSDIJHB CIYHCOHBCDOBU  
Hatsune Miku: IHFP9ZIFHDHSDLKJHGUIDFHNBERIOUIHBZDSFOUBFDS  
Luckster: uh  
Hatsune Miku: OKPHSADFUOHSDIOJSDFJLFDSFDSNGDOUPSGBUSOGBODUPGBUODPNJO  
Luckster: You alright there Sayaka?  
Hatsune Miku: NO  
Luckster: What happened?  
Hatsune Miku: Gay.jpg  
Luckster: o  
Luckster: THIS ISN’T SFW U COULD’VE TOLD ME  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
19toomanypilots: HWERE DID U GET THAT  
420blazeit: oops  
19toomanypilots: DID U SRSLY NOT CLOSE THE DOOR WHAT IS WRONG WITH U  
420blazeit: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
Progamer: omg Yasuhiro tops i cant   
Progamer: Im laughing my ass off rn omg  
19toomanypilots has left the group  
19toomanypilots has joined the group  
Luckster: You’ve seen what happened when Togami tried to leave don’t attempt to leave either >:D  
Legs4days: How...unsightly.  
Celestia Lunanberg: Oh my  
Precious Cinnabon: I propose a new rule: Pornographic content should not be allowed in this particular chatroom.  
19toomanypilots: YES PLZ FOR ONCE I AGREE WITH TAKA  
Luckster: Alright fine, any p0rn will be deleted  
19toomanypilots: YES PLZ THANK  
Luckster: I should probably delete that picture Sayaka posted  
19toomanypilots: I AM FOREVER IN UR DEBT  
Yaoi: Too bad I already saved it >:3  
Progamer: THAT’S MY EMOJI U CANT STEAL IT  
Progamer: FINE TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME  
Progamer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
420blazeit: this is making me uncomfortable  
420blazeit: it’s unnatural  
Yaoi: OHongpasiohsdofifdsoijdfsoidfhnfgoijfdspioerwjefoifds  
Yaoi: uioiwdnoaIUHOISJHOGUJHNWEFLOJNFDKjnjgfpoifsd  
Luckster: Is there just something in the water today?  
Yaoi: NO IT’S JUST THAT LEON STOPLE MY PHONE AND NOW HE DELETERD THE PICTUER  
19toomanypilots: Mission accomplished  
19toomanypilots: although I kind of wish i didn’t look at toko’s phone in the first place  
Despear: Oooooh, what was in there? Was it really dirty?  
19toomanypilots: Short answer, yes  
Despear: Long answer?  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
19toomanypilots: 1000+ images of gay porn  
Despear:...  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Despear: Do you ever regret asking a question? Cuz I sure do  
Yaoi: Half of those were because of Genocide Jill I swear  
19toomanypilots: That still means 500 of those images were saved by Touko  
Progamer: Do you ever regret taking a look at a text thread? Cuz I sure do  
Cornhair: PFFFFFT  
Cornhair: Omg taka read what was on touko’s phone and he’s still staring at his own phone in disgust i cnat  
Koko Kirigiri: I’m pretty sure we should stop talking about gay porn and start talking about something more...wholesome  
Yaoi: Aw :<  
420blazeit: I don’t wanna be that guy but...yeah gay porn isn’t exactly the kind of topic I’m comfortable talking about  
Yaoi: It should be pretty familiar to u tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
19toomanypilots: CAN U NOT IM STILL HERE U KNOW I CAN DELETE ALL UR GAY PORN IF I WANT TO  
Yaoi: Alright, fine fine.   
Yaoi: lil pussy ass bitch  
Progamer: Ok before even more arguments arise let’s talk about video games  
Cornhair: alright what kinda video games?  
Progamer: I dunno...Overwatch? LoZ: Breath of the Wild? Literally anything other than gay porn?  
Precious Cinnabon: Oh, right! Overwatch! That was the game Oowada got me interested in.  
Precious Cinnabon: I still can’t believe I fell into his trap and forgot to go to sleep.   
Souldier: Who do u main?  
Cornhair: I personally main Roadhog, not after the new nerfs tho. I’m starting to get into Junkrat tho  
Souldier: I was asking Ishimaru -_-  
Precious Cinnabon: I have taken a liking to multiple characters. One from each section. Those four characters being: Soldier76, Reindhart, Hanzo, and Ana.  
Precious Cinnabon: Although, I like most- if not all- of Overwatch’s cast.  
Souldier: 76, definitly  
Progamer: All of them  
Otakool: D.va’s my new waifu  
Yaoi: McCree and Hanzo. I mean we all know they’re both gay  
Despear: Reaper  
Luckster: Lucio and Tracer  
Luckster: What about you, Togami?  
Legs4days: I refuse to say.  
Luckster: C’moooon, it can’t be that bad!  
Legs4days:...  
Legs4days: Mercy  
Cornhair: Of course  
Cornhair: Only the most pretentious people main mercy  
Legs4days: Well at least I’m not a filthy Junkrat main  
Cornhair: Well at least I don’t get hard-countered by literally every other hero!  
Legs4days: Well at least I don’t get instantly destroyed by Pharah  
Yaoi: Of course! Togami only gets destroyed by Naegi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: Touko u broke Togami again  
19toomanypilots: Who woulda thought the great Togami gets flustered so easily?  
Yaoi: Do I need to remind you of that one picture?  
Hatsune Miku: I still have it on my phone btw  
420blazeit: oops  
420blazeit: Leon pulled a togami and hid in the bathroom  
19toomanypilots: I need to stop using this chat

Alternate titles: Togami and Leon are both flustered idiots, Touko is a perv, so is Sayaka tbh, Hanzo’s a fucking cunt


	6. Puns Gay-lore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junko gets v mad

Dispear: Fuck this restaurant  
Dispear: No srsly i want to burn down this shithole  
Luckster: Elaborate  
Dispear: They dropped my goddamn sandwhich on the ground im actually starving wtf  
Progamer: -_-  
Progamer: U sound like Togami rn  
Luckster: Togami’s not here so i guess ill get offended for him  
Luckster: >:(  
Hatsune Miku: It sucks that that happened  
Hatsune Miku: I guess u can say u’re having a crumby day ;D  
Dispear:...  
Souldier: Don’t make food puns around Junko plz  
Souldier: They carrot be tolerated  
Dispear:...  
Luckster: If this means despair for Junko then i’ll curry this on  
Progamer: Ur probably making it very hard for her to stay in this chat  
Progamer: Lettuce leave her alone  
Cornhair: I wanna make a joke too, but it would be too corny  
19toomanypilots: stop this before ice cream  
420blazeit: This is avocontrol  
Precious Cinnabon: Guys, this is making Junko highly annoyed, so much so it’s gotten to the point where she has ceased communication.   
Cornhair: o ur no fun :(  
Precious Cinnabon: I mean it, it’s most likely...pudding her over the edge :D  
Cornhair: :O  
Lifedonuts: Donut continue this chain of puns!  
Koko Kirigiri: I can’t cake this anymore  
Yaoi: Now ur just Raisin the Steaks  
Dispear: I hate u all  
Dispear: I hate all of u with a burning passion  
Dispear: I want to tear out all of your insides and watch all of you bleed to death as I laugh over your dead corpses in pure, unadulterated ecstasy  
Legs4days:...  
Legs4days: That’s just preposterous  
Legs4days: I think you should romaine calm  
Progamer: OK IS IT JUST SOMETHING I MISSED OR DID TOGAMI LIKE LEGIT GET A SENSE OF HUMOR  
Souldier: She just threw her phone at the poor waiter trying to server her watermelon slices  
Precious Cinnabon: You mean  
Precious Cinnabon: The waitermelon slices  
Cornhair: See how can i not love this man  
Cherry Blossom: That is cherry sweet  
Lifedonut: ^-^  
Celeste Lunanberg: All of you disguise-t me  
Luckster: Are we branching out to more than just food puns?  
Luckster: Well toucan play at that game!  
Koko Kirigiri: Whoever started this needs to be put behind bars  
Koko Kirigiri: I need to serve just-ice  
19toomanypilots: If anyone’s gunna win this pun competition it’s going to be me  
19toomanypilots: I’ll hit it out of the park  
420blazeit: Sigh...chic  
Celeste Lunanberg: Eh, that was a weak pun  
Celeste Lunanberg: Putting a pun that weak in here is a huge *gamble*  
Precious Cinnabon: I want to participate in the chain badly but...I must com-pass  
Yaoi: Comp-ass ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Progamer: This shit again  
Yaoi: What can I say? Lenny face is one of my greatest ass-sets  
Progamer: This is interesting  
Progamer: Please goron  
Cornhair:...I don’t get it  
Progamer: *sigh* it’s a zelda thing  
Cornhair: o  
Cornhair: Honestly at this point all these jokes are *tiring* me out  
Progamer: :P  
Legs4days: Surely making this many atrocious jokes is ir-regal  
Luckster: I dunno, I *hope*d it would be that way, but I guess we *luck*ed out  
19toomanypilots: o shit naegi coming in with 2 puns instead of one :O  
Lifedonut: Well I must say, this is going swimmingly  
Cherryblossom: I think i need to sit down and have some tea  
Cherryblossom: kara-tea  
Souldier: woa  
Souldier: I did nazi that coming  
Hatsune Miku: How do people come up with these?  
Hatsune Miku: Anyone who can improv that well is my *idol* ;3  
Luckster: wait y did Junko get so mad when we made food puns?   
Luckster: even tho her username is a food pun  
Souldier: I dunno  
Souldier: She’s such an edgy veggie today  
Otakool:...  
Otakool: I suddenly got reminded why i don’t go on here at all

Alternate title: Junko’s a bitch, Ive listened to you reposted in the wrong neighberhood for an hour straight send help, hanzo’s a fucking cunt

 

Ok, in all seriousness, I really want to thank everyone who has commented and left a kudos on this work. It means a lot to me that people are legit enjoying this shitpost :P

Also, I legit thought i uploaded this yesterday. turns out I read it once, laughed at my own jokes and then listened to some vocaloids :P


	7. sO MUCH GAY...also some shakespear in the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some important information: I have decided that there are going to be 15 chapters of this story I am sorry. Updates are probably going to be a bit slower from now on since I have other projects I'm currently working on. We're almost halfway there so hold on to ur butts this is going to be a bumpy ride :D
> 
> I also decided to post 2 chapters in the same day because I have blessed u with this gift and totally not because im going to be too lazy to write tomorrow.
> 
> Also yes u are going to see more Kyoko and Maizono in later chapters becuz of the new ships. Haven't decided what to do with Mukoro yet.
> 
> Also also, last chapter was actually an excuse to write Junko out of the story cuz who likes Junko in an unironic way tbh

Cornhair: What, you egg?  
Cornhair: *Stabs him*  
Luckster: Owch  
420blazeit: I...ok…?  
19toomanypilots: I don’t understand  
Legs4days: It’s a Shakespear quote  
Legs4days: Of course, you uncultured hooligans wouldn’t understand a sentence of Shakespear’s genius.  
420blazeit: PFFFFFT  
420balzeit: NO FUCKIGN WAY DUDE  
19toomanypilots: Someone send help Hagakure is having a seizure on the floor he cant stop laughing omg im going to have a heart attack he’s too cute  
Souldier: For a second there I thought u were being serious  
420blazeit: wiatiwaitiaitwait  
420blazeit: what other fucking shakespear quotes are there  
Progamer: “I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”  
420blazeit: LOOOOOL  
Progamer: I never knew Shakespear was so...sassy.  
Precious Cinnabon: Hold on, I vaguely remember a rather humorous quote of his I read before.  
Precious Cinnabon: Demetrius: “Villain, what hast thou done?” Aaron: “That which thou canst undo” Chiron: “Thou hast undone our mother” Aaron: “Villain, I have done thy mother”  
420blazeit: I...don’t get it...can someone turn this into actual English?  
Legs4days: *sigh* I can’t believe it. You simpletons can’t seem to understand anything more complex than an internet meme.  
Celestia Lunanberg: To put it in layman’s terms: “I have done thy mother” translates into “I did your mom”  
420blazeit: O MY UFKING GOD  
19toomanypilots: Hagakure lost it again  
420blazeit changed his name to I have done thy mother  
Cornhair: Shit  
Cornhair: How come I didn’t think of that?  
Progamer: Tbh I prefer this to his old name  
Cornhair: Agreed  
I have done thy mother (boy that’ll be fun to spell out every time Hagakure talks): Who is Hagakure?  
I have done thy mother: I know no Hagakure in this plane  
I have done thy mother: I have ascended towards a higher state of being  
19toomanypilots: O shit Hagakure using big words like ascended im so proud  
Luckster: U sound like Togami rn  
Luckster: I would know  
Legs4days: Why would you associate me with these cretins?  
Luckster: Because I love you <3  
Legs4days:..  
Legs4days: I love you too  
Luckster: :3   
I have done thy mother: u guys r so gay  
Luckster: Like ur one to talk mr “i banged Leon without closing the door”  
19toomanypilots: STOOOOOOOP  
Luckster: >:3  
Hatsune Miku: Guys  
Hatsune Miku: I am concerned  
Luckster: y?  
Hatsune Miku: I haven’t seen Kyouko all day and it’s worrying me :<  
Yaoi: I KNEW KYOKO HAD A GRILLFRIEND >:D  
Koko Kirigiri: o shut up Touko  
Hatsune Miku: My plan worked perfectly :D  
Koko Kirigiri:...  
Cornhair: O SHIT  
Cornhair: BAMBOOZLED AGAIN  
Koko Kirigiri: I am hurt, how dare u extort me in such a way? :<  
Hatsune Miku: I’m doing this becuz I love u  
Yaoi: o shit we have more gays entering the ring better update the tags  
Hatsune Miku: Tags?  
Yaoi: I mean what?  
19toomanypilots: Kyoko, Sayaka, I want u to run far, far away and never come back  
19toomanypilots: U don’t want smut written if u and rubbed in ur face everyday  
Yaoi: Sorry for pushing my stories onto u Leon  
19toomanypilots: Is...is this a genuine apology? Or am I going to get bamboozled?  
Yaoi: Although, my stories aren’t the only thing that’s being rubbed on ur face everyday I bet   
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
I have done thy mother: I can confirm that  
Cornhair: omfg  
Hatsune Miku: toko plz no   
19toomanypilots: *INTERNAL SCREAMING*  
I have done thy mother: Ur internal screaming sounds a lot like outternal screaming  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Yaoi: srsly at this point it’s 2 ez   
19toomanypilots: *EXTERNAL SCREAMING*  
Hatsune Miku: I swear to god Touko ur going to break Leon someday  
Yaoi: Not before Hagakure breaks him first  
I have done thy mother: ive already done that ;)  
19toomanypilots: U TRAITOR Y  
Yaoi: *flips on sunglasses* my job here is done  
Celestia Lunanberg: Honestly, at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if all of Yamada’s “waifus” turn out to be guys.  
Celestia Lunanberg: Ya’ll are too gay  
Luckster: “ya’ll”  
Celestia Lunanberg: Yes, Ya’ll are too gay  
Yaoi: I’ve seen what’s on ur phone Celeste don’t try and hide it  
Celestia Lunanberg: Never said I wasn’t ;)  
Otakool: Honestly, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if i was the only straight guy here  
Legs4days: I wouldn’t be surprised either.

Alternate titles: sooOOOO MUCH GAY, tbh have u seen some of these Shakespere quotes?, Hanzo’s still a cunt >:3


	8. Who can be the gayest gay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story was supposed to be short fluff wtf happened

Hatsune Miku: R u guys coming to my concert this evening?  
Koko Kirigiri: Of course, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t attend my sweetheart’s performances? <3  
Hatsune Miku: <3  
Otakool: welp there goes the only other straight person in this entire chat  
Koko Kirigiri: U say that like it’s a bad thing  
Otakool: -_-  
Luckster: Kyoko, Sayaka, u two should go on this chat more often  
Luckster: We almost never see u irl  
Otakool: Wow ok i guess i don’t exist then fuk u guys >:(  
Luckster: O yeah u too Yamada  
Yaoi: They’re too busy being gay smh  
Koko Kirigiri: U got that right <3  
Yaoi: U two r going to outdo Yasuhiro and Leon when it comes to sheer levels of gay  
I have done thy mother: I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN  
19toomanypilots: He said that outloud then grabbed my ass y  
Yaoi: I wrote a book like this once  
I have done thy mother: I am protecting our title as gayest couple, my love!  
19toomanypilots: smh u see what i have to deal with?  
Hatsune Miku: I REFUSE  
Hatsune Miku: ME AND KYOUKO R GOING TO BE GAYEST COUPLE JUST U WATCH  
19toomanypilots: Who’s even deciding this title?  
Yaoi: I am  
Yaoi: Winner gets to delete 100 things on my phone, no matter what. They also get all smut starring them deleted 4ever  
19toomanypilots: O UR ON  
Yaoi: yesssssssssssssss  
Luckster: *Furiously makes out with Togami*  
Legs4days: I refuse to take part in such a...vulgar competition.  
Luckster: U know u love it ;)  
Legs4days: I refuse to comment on the matter  
Lifedonuts: Well, that doesn’t matter   
Lifedonuts: CUZ ME AND SAKURA R GOING TO WIN THAT CONTEST  
Cherryblossom: U show em Hina! <3  
Lifedonuts: >:D  
Yaoi: This is so gud i love this chat  
Cornhair: U guys  
Cornhair: R forgetting   
Cornahair: THat...Ishimondo...is Touko’s favorite “ship”  
Yaoi: That is tru  
Cornhair: I cringed while writing that omg  
Precious Cinnabon: She...she made a ship name for us.  
Cornhair: She sure did  
Yaoi: I make ship names for everything  
Yaoi: Sakuroi   
Yaoi: Naegami  
Yaoi: Leohiro  
Yaoi: Kirizaino  
Yaoi: etc.  
Luckster: It’s a good thing mine and Togami’s ship name is the best :3  
Progamer: Who do u ship me with?  
Yaoi: wait u actually want to know?  
Progamer: ye  
Yaoi: I think ud rather not want to know  
Yaoi: but just incase I’ll PM it to u  
Progamer:...  
Progamer left the chat  
Luckster: O NO U DON’T  
Progamer has joined the chat  
Luckster: It can’t be that bad  
Koko Kirigiri: oooo, who is it?  
Celestia Lunanberg: I have to say, this has peaked my curiosity  
Progamer: NOOOOOOOOOO  
Cornhair: Who was it Touko?  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cornhair: That doesn’t answer my question  
Yaoi: It should  
Yaoi: NOW BACK TO THE GAY COMPETITION   
I have done thy mother: SIR YES SIR  
I have done thy mother: *slaps Leon’s ass again*  
19toomanypilots: STOOOOP  
Yaoi: O boy u guys r swiftly making it up the gay ladder, surpassing Kirizaino and Naegami  
Hatsune Miku: I REFUSE TO LOSE THIS COMPETITION  
Hatsune Miku: KYOKO DO SOMETHING GAY  
Koko Kirigiri: ah- SHIT  
Koko Kirigiri: *panics and kisses Maizono*  
Yaoi: “Kyoko panics, unsure of what to do in her current predicament, and falls unto Maizono’s rather volumptuous breasts”  
Koko Kirigiri: tHAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED  
Hatsune Miku: O/////////O  
Yaoi: U should take this as a sign that ur not winning  
Hatsune Miku: FUCK  
Lifedonuts: Actually now that I think about it I don’t want to take part in this competition   
Precious Cinnabon: Neither do I.  
Cornhair: TAKA WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS CONTEST JUST U WATCH  
Precious Cinnabon: I wish to cease participation in the contest please.  
Yaoi: R u sure u wanna forfeit  
Yaoi: Imagine all the Ishimondo smut I’ve written that’s just waiting to be deleted  
Cornhair: *TAKA WE ARE GOING TO WIN THIS CONTEST*  
Precious Cinnabon:...Fine, but how?  
Yaoi: Yes, show me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Cornhair: *Hardcore makeout session ensues*  
Yaoi: That works  
Luckster: THAT’S NOT FAIR U GUYS STOLE WHAT ME AND TOGAMI R DOING  
Legs4days: Naegi, I recommend you cease caring about this stupid competition  
Luckster: DOOD HAVE U EVEN SEEN WHAT TOUKO WRITES???  
Legs4days: I have not. However, I doubt it’s so bad that you want to take place in such a juvenile contest.  
Yaoi: I’ll PM u some of it  
Legs4days: After much consideration, I have decided that this contest is no longer juvenile and I will partake in it.  
Legs4days: This is the reason why I’m inviting Naegi over for a lovely, candle-lit dinner. Over some champagne and lobster.  
Luckster: It needs to get *gayer*  
Yaoi: U can go gayer, can’t u, Togami?  
Legs4days: *sighs*  
Legs4days: *reluctantly slaps Naegi’s ass*  
I have done thy mother: HEY THAT’S OUR THING U CAN’T STEAL THAT >:(  
Yaoi: Oooo, it’s getting saucier  
19toomanypilots: YEA GET UR OWN SCHTICK  
Luckster: *rips off Togami’s shirt*  
Yaoi: yissssssssss  
Cornhair: *makes out with Taka harder*  
I have done thy mother: *slaps Leon’s ass again*  
Souldier: ok i leave fOR ONE DAY AND I SEE THIS SHIT OK WHAT DID I MISS  
Yaoi: DINGDINGDING  
Yaoi: TIME’S UP LET’S SEE THE WINNER OF THAT COMPETITION  
Luckster: *silence intensifies*  
Yaoi: AND THE WINNER IS….  
Yaoi: OOPS, WE’RE ALL LATE FOR SAYAKA’S PERFORMANCE  
Yaoi: EVEN SAYAKA HERSELF  
Hatsune Miku: SHIT  
Hatsune Miku: FUCK  
19toomanypilots: wait who won tho?  
Yaoi: CAN’T SAY, ON MY WAY TO SAYAKA’S SHOW  
Koko Kirigiri: I’m already there   
Luckster: U HAD US DO ALL THAT SHIT AND U CAN’T EVEN SAY WHO THE WINNER IS >:(  
Precious Cinnabon: I should’ve seen that coming…  
Koko Kirigiri: Me too :(

THE NEXT DAY

Yaoi: o my god  
Yaoi: O MY FUCKING GOD  
Yaoi: I AM SO FUCKING SORRY  
Luckster: for what?  
Yaoi: I WAS DRUNK AND THEN GENOCIDE JILL TOOK OVER AND DID THE WHOLE COMPETITION THING OMFG IM SORRY  
19toomanypilots: wait does drunkenness transfer from Touko to Genocide Jill?  
Yaoi: I LEARNED THE HARD WAY JUST YESTERDAY BUT YES  
Cornhair: tbh I couldn’t tell the difference between Genocide Jill and Touko yesterday  
Koko Kirigiri: neither could i tbh  
Yaoi: o  
Yaoi: well I’ll tell u   
Yaoi: Touko would never, *ever*, do something as stupid as that  
Precious Cinnabon: Well, I’m glad that Touko has told us this useful information for future use.  
Progamer: Not to sound like an asshole or anything but I feel like Touko would’ve definitely did the competition  
Yaoi: o what?  
Yaoi: I don’t mean the competition  
Yaoi: I mean Touko would never have made anyone delete any fanfics for any reason  
Koko Kirigiri: -_-  
Koko Kirigiri: wait is this Touko or Genocide Jill speaking?  
Luckster: I dunno the contest was kinda fun  
Legs4days: It was not only degrading, but immensely embarrassing as well.  
Yaoi: FYI this is Touko speaking  
Souldier: I live right next to her and I can confirm that it’s touko  
Yaoi: Also, i know i just made a joke about the fanfics but u guys can delete one fanfic from my library as apology  
Yaoi: unless…  
Yaoi: u want to do that again ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Progamer: NOPE IM ALREADY HERE  
Progamer: D.LET EVERYTHING  
Yaoi: HEY CAN ONLY DELETE 1 THING  
Progamer: I deleted all the fucking pairings including me I WILL NOT LET THIS SHIP LIVE  
Yaoi: dang i didn’t want Genocide Jill to tell u already  
Yaoi: OK NOW THAT EVERYONE IS AT MY FRONT DOORSTEP IT’S 4 DOLLARS TO DELETE ONE THING AND 4 DOLLARS TO DELETE ONE OTHER THING SO ON  
Luckster: didn’t u say that u weren’t going to delete any smut for any reason?  
Cornhair: BRB GETTING MY WALLET  
Yaoi: Money is more important im broke my man  
Yaoi: I can always write more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Yaoi: 2 LATE I ALREADY HAVE LIKE A THOUSAN DOLLARS THX TOGAMI <3  
Legs4days: Anything to get rid of those...descriptive messes you call “fanfics”.

Alternate titles: THIS CHAPTER IS SO FUCKIGN LONG IPN[FDSPIFDIOND, Leon secretly likes his ass being slapped ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), Hanzo’s still a massive cunt, this story escalated out of fuckign control.


	9. Touko Gets Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BTW I don't know if these links work or not but they are actual links to memes so have fun

****

Luckster:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEe22Xp2zeA ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEe22Xp2zeA)

Precious Cinnabon: What is this?

Cornhair: Naegi no

Legs4days:...What is this crass garbage?

Luckster: This is what we “peasants” call memes

I have done thy mother: Omfg yes I love earrape

19toomanypilots: thank goodness i thought u said something else i got scared

Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

19toomanypilots: mOVING ON

Luckster:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY34jqXWfVs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bY34jqXWfVs)

Legs4days: This is even worse

19toomanypilots: DANCETILLURDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDEDED

Precious Cinnabon: The editing on this video is surprisingly clean and professional

Progamer: DANCETILLURDEDEDEDDEDEDEDDDANCEDEDDANCEDEDDANCEDANCEDED

Hatsune Miku: Tbh it just sounds like noise

I have done thy mother: DANDANDANDANDANCEDANCEDANCEDED

Koko Kirigiri: This is getting old

Luckster: Buzzklll :<

Luckster:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQmEERvqq70 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQmEERvqq70)

Legs4days: Naegi, please stop sending links to internet memes in the chat

Legs4days: They’re tasteless, crude, and overrated

Luckster: dood this chat is named “Dank Memes Broken Dreams”

I have done thy mother: he’s got a point man

Souldier: NAEGI LINK “YOU REPOSTED IN THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD” PLZ

19toomanypilots: OMFG YES

Luckster: coming up

Yaoi:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4feUSTS21-8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4feUSTS21-8)

Luckster:  [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4feUSTS21-8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4feUSTS21-8)

Luckster: aw u beat me to it

Yaoi: >:D

Precious Cinnabon: This reminds me of those songs Mondo’s obsessed with.

Precious Cinnabon: Too  loud and chocked to the brim with way too many swears

Cornhair: Sorta like u in bed ;)

_ Precious Cinnabon has left the chat _

Lifedonut: OMFG MONDO Y

_ Precious Cinnabon has joined the chat _

Cornhair: Taka’s fucking dying of embarrassment rn it’s adorable

Luckster:...this is weird

Koko Kirigiri: What is?

Luckster: THIS IS WEEEEIRD

Hatsune Miku: what is WEEEEIRD

Luckster: Touko isn’t spamming lenny faces in chat

Yaoi: o shit

Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Luckster: Touko r u sick?

Yaoi: maybe

Yaoi: And by maybe I mean yes

Souldier: o no

Souldier: dass not gud

Yaoi: it’s just a cold

Lifedonut: r u getting enough vitamin C?

Yaoi: I ate an orange 2day that’s about it

Cherryblossom: Hina, aren’t u forgetting something more important?

Lifedonut: HOW COULD I FORGET

Lifedonut: ME AND SAKURA R COMING OVER W/  PROTEIN DRINKS 

Yaoi: Wait wat no u dont have 2

Lifedonut: tbh u sound like  Kiyotaka rn jUST TAKE THE GODDAMN PROTEIN

Precious Cinnabon: I find that to be personally offensive.

Cornhair: U personally offended me baby how dare u

Yaoi: Mondo it’s ok i already have enough gay over here

Luckster: when did Touko ever say that there’s “enough gay”?

Luckster: This must be a  _ really _ bad cold

Cherryblossom:  it’s less of a cold and more puking

Cherryblossom: A lot more puking

Luckster: that explains it

Hatsune Miku: KYOKO ME AND U R GOING OVER TO TOUKO’S OK???

Koko Kirigiri: I’m in the middle of a crime scene rn can’t

Hatsune Miku: hun  ur gud at a lot of things ( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) but lying isn’t one of them

Koko Kirgiri: k fine im coming

Hatsune Miku:  :D

Celestia Lunanberg: Did someone say “lying”?

Hatsune Miku: I did

Hatsune Miku:  Now that ur here u have to come with us to visit Touko

Celestia  Lunanberg: nvm im out

Hatsune Miku: >:(

Hatsune Miku: What a meanie-butt

Cornhair: U mean a bitch?

Precious Cinnabon: MONDO

Precious Cinnabon: DO NOT CALL OUR FRIENDS SUCH VULGAR NAMES

Cornhair: It’s tru tho

Precious Cinnabon: Well,  it is true that Celestia is acting a bit rude, that’s no reason to call her such rude names

Cornhair: U don’t mind when I call u “rude” names  ;)

Precious Cinnabon: MONDO

Yaoi: omg there is so much material for my newest fanfic here 

Yaoi: Im screenshotting that 

Cornhair: ffuck ****  
  


Alternate titles: Danker memes brokener dreams, rip touko, Hina and Sakura finally make a debut after like five years tHANK GOODNESS, Hanzo’s a cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunt


	10. I just realized that there were like 4 chapters in a row with the word "gay" in the title wow im proud but also sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mukuro finally does things in this story 
> 
> Also there's some emoji movie shit in there

Luckster: GUYS GUYS GUYS  
Luckster: THIS IS IMPORTANT NEWS  
Yaoi: R U AND TOGAMI GETTING MARRIED????  
Progamer: R U AND TOGAMI BREAKING UP????  
Otakool: IS THE NEW PUDGY PRINCESS MOVIE COMING OUT????  
Luckster: EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN ALL OF THAT  
Souldier: You finally learned how to handle a gun like you handle Togami?  
Luckster: IM GOING TO IGNORE THAT  
Luckster: NEW EMOJI MOVIE TRAILER IS OUT  
Legs4days:...Really?  
Legs4days: That garbage?  
Legs4days: You really care about that trash?  
Lifedonuts: STFU TOGAMI THIS IS IMPORTANT ASS NEWS  
Progamer: For a second there I thought that was Mondo also WHEN DID U SWEAR EVER  
Cherryblossom: What have u guys done to Hina  
Cherryblossom: Uve corrupted her ;_;  
Progamer: BUT NO HINA’S GOT A POINT THIS *IS* HUGE NEWS  
Luckster: Chiro what size shirt u wear?  
Progamer: y  
Progamer: XS  
Luckster: I’m getting us mATCHING JULY 28TH SHIRTS  
Progamer: :O  
Proamer: YISS  
Cornhair: U 2 are ridiculous  
Luckster: I can get one for u 2 Mondo  
Cornhair: Yeh no, I have dignity  
Legs4days: Dignity? Well, I’m surprised.  
Legs4days: I don’t remember you having any dignity.  
Cornhair: :<  
Luckster: Jesus christ is everyone savage today?  
Souldier: No, it’s just that you’re much more perceptive.   
Souldier: I’m proud of you, Naegi. You finally learned how to read properly.  
Luckster: brb getting aloe vera for the burn  
Souldier: B)  
Cornhair: I never knew Mukoro was this savage  
Souldier: Well when Junko’s your sister, her sheer stupidity can inspire you.  
Cornhair: thank god she isn’t here to witness that roast  
Yaoi: wait what happened to her after the pun incident?  
Yaoi: U said she threw her phone at the waiter and broke it  
Yaoi: Did she get a new one?  
Souldier: Of course she did, she’s a model.  
Souldier: Which is a good thing for her, because brains are definitely not her strong suit.  
Progamer: DOUBLE KILL  
Legs4days: I don’t know why you would congratulate her.  
Legs4days: Those roasts are the weakest I’ve ever seen.  
Souldier: Weak?  
Souldier: So...sortof like you in bed?  
Souldier: Boi I live right next to you, it’s no secret.  
Progamer: TRIPLE KILL  
Cornhair: omfg i can’t breathe rip togami  
Precious Cinnabon: I feel as if these “roasts” are getting out of hand. They’re much too mean-spirited.  
Cornhair: Taka no ur gunna get roasted  
Souldier: If my roasts are getting out of hand, then your eyebrows are out of this world.  
Cornhair: brb treating Taka’s wounds  
Progamer: QUADRUPLE KILL  
Yaoi: What? Mondo, aren’t you going to beat up Mukoru like that one time on July 4th?  
Cornhair: 1st, that fucker had it coming. 2nd, I was drunk off my ass, 3rd, Mukuro could easily kick my ass, and 4th Togami was actually a dick while Mukuro was just pokin fun.  
Cornhair: And it’s Togami who rlly cares?  
Yaoi: Fair nuff  
Luckster: Y r u guys being so mean to Togami?  
Cornhair: He’s a dick  
Luckster: He can be nice sometimes :<  
Souldier: If Togami is actually being nice to someone other than Naegi willingly the world would implode on itself.  
Progamer: QUINTUPLE KILL  
Luckster: U guys r mean   
19toomanypilots: Eh, these roasts r aight  
19toomanypilots: I can do u one better >:)  
Souldier: “I can do u one better”  
Souldier: So Hagakure’s supposed to be better? If so, I heavily doubt that.  
19toomanypilots: Says the heartless psychopath  
Souldier: Says the 21 Pilots fanboy who’s in a relationship with a homeless bum- sorry, I meant Hagakure.  
Souldier: I’m not surprised you have such low standards- honestly I’m not.  
Progamer: SEXTUPLE KILL  
Progamer: TEAM KILL  
Yaoi: heh, sex-tuple  
I have done thy mother: Leon no  
I have done thy mother: Anyone have the number for the emergency burn ward?  
Souldier: It’s 911  
Souldier: Why am I not surprised you’d ask the number to 911?  
Souldier: Tbh you're just as dumb as your boyfriend.  
Progamer: HOLY SHIT  
Progamer: MUKURO'S ON FIRE  
Souldier: Come close and you’d get burned.  
Lifedonuts: If you’re so hot, then how come you’re still single?  
Lifedonuts: Actually, nevermind, I already know the answer to that :3  
Souldier:...  
Progamer: C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

Alternate titles: This was supposed to be about the emoji movie and memes what happened, Mukuro’s a fucking savage, also she fINALLY MAKES AN APPEARANCE JEEZ, Hanzo’s still a fat cunt


	11. Uh things?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realized it was 10pm and I haven't updated this story so I put on Running in the 90's and like an hour later this mess happened.

Progamer: Guys, guys  
Progamer: Big news  
Luckster: Emoji movie getting released early??????  
Progamer: Unfortunately not  
Legs4days: I swear to God, Naegi.  
Progamer: It’s even *bigger*  
Lifedonuts: Oooh, I’m on the edge of my seat  
Progamer: Mondo is planning on proposing to Kiyotaka  
Progamer: He told me himself  
Yaoi: INFDPOIFDHPOEWGFDOFJNDFOUDSHDSOIUHDGE  
Yaoi: IS HE ACTUALLY HOLY SHIT WOWO K  
Lifedonuts: AWWWWW  
Lifedonuts: HE BETTER DO IT SOON  
Cherryblossom: U guys broke Hina  
Cherryblossom: She stopped working  
Cornhair: I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PROPOSING TO ANYONE  
Cornhair: STOP LYING CHIHIRO  
Lifedonuts: U DON’T HAVE TO BE SCARED ANYMORE   
Lifedonuts: U TWO R GOING TO GROW OLD TOGETHER AND HAVE TONS OF DOG CHILDREN IT’S GOING TO BE ADORABLE  
Cornhair: WE’RE NOT EVEN OF LEGAL AGE YET JESUS CHRIST  
Precious Cinnabon: What was this about a proposal?  
Lifedonuts: IT’S HAPPENING  
Cornhair: Chihiro lied and said I proposed to u  
Progamer: HAH  
Progamer: PRANKED B)  
Lifedonuts:...  
Lifedonuts: me heart :<  
Cherryblossom: How dare u?  
Cherryblossom: U got Hina’s hopes up  
Progamer: Lol it’s April Fools m8 u should’ve seen it coming  
Precious Cinnabon:...It’s July 15th…  
Progamer: IT’S APRIL 1ST IN MY HEART OK  
19toomanypilots: lol omg I could hear Hina’s fangirl screeches and she lives like 15 minutes away  
I have done thy mother: Nah it’s just some guys pulling up in a black van  
I have done thy mother: They’re all wearing masks and carrying bats they’re probs in a cult  
19toomanypilots: sounds like a coooool cult  
I have done thy mother: Wanna see my cult? ;)  
Luckster: GUYS WTF CALL THE POLICE  
Luckster: THEY’RE PROBABLY TRYING TO MURDER/ROB SOMEONE IS THIS A JOKE?  
Precious Cinnabon: I have called the police already. The way Yasuhiro described those people, they seemed extremely shady.  
Cornhair: Taka coming in for the rescue  
Lifedonuts: cAN U TWO JUST MARRY ALREADY JESUS FUCK  
Cornhair: woah there calm down  
Koko Kirigri: Someone from work told me to report to an address and the address was Leon’s house what did u guys do?  
Koko Kirigiri: Guys?  
Cornhair: Did...did they get stabbed?  
Yaoi: Probably  
Yaoi: They stab eachother all the time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: Touko two of our friends could be bleeding to death nOW IS NOT THE TIME  
Legs4days: Now’s also not the time to be re-watching all the Emoji Movie trailers, yet you’re doing that anyways.  
Progamer: Naegi ur like my spirit animal  
19toomanypilots: wow ok this is awkward  
Koko Kirigiri: The criminals were breaking into the room besides them but stopped halfway through once they heard some of the...interesting things Leon yelled out.  
19toomanypilots: I STUBBED MY TOE OK IT HURT LIKE A BITCH  
Koko Kirigiri: I don’t remember ever yelling out “harder, Hiro, harder” whenever I stubbed my toe.  
Cornhair: OMFG KYOKO IS A SAVhE JESUS FCUK I CAN’T STPO LAGHING   
I have done thy mother:...oops  
Koko Kirigiri: Think of the bright side, at least your private sessions helped us catch up to three criminals  
19toomanypilots: brb im going to die of shame  
Yaoi: I wrote a book like this once  
Yaoi: WAITWAITWAITWAIT  
Yaoi: Hiro change ur name to “I have done thy Leon”  
19toomanypilots: plz no god in heaven  
I have done thy mother changed their name to I have done thy Leon  
19toomanypilots: y do u hate me so?  
I have done thy Leon: Cuz u look adorable when ur flustered  
19toomanypiltos: wow ok I can’t stay mad at u <3  
I have done thy Leon: U look even cuter when ur both flustered and naked ;3  
19toomanypilots: OK NVM I MAD AT U  
Progamer: These two i swear to god  
Progamer: These two r going to be the end of me  
Luckster: Lol omfg Byakuya can’t stop laughing this is making me so happy  
Legs4days: I don’t know what you’re talking about.  
Luckster: Im sitting right next to u ur still smiling  
Luckster: It’s adorable u should laugh more <3  
Otakool: Is it just me or did this chat get a lot more...gay the last time I got here?  
Cornhair: It’s always been this gay m8  
Otakool: But not *this* gay  
Otakool: These levels of gay have only been achieved once before in the history of mankind  
Lifedonuts: When?  
Otakool: Last week when u guys held that gay competition  
Yaoi: :P  
Yaoi: I blame myself for that  
Progamer: Yep  
Progamer: I agree  
Luckster: U still haven’t told us what was the terrible ship involving Chihiro  
Progamer: OOPS WOULD YA LOOK AT THE TIME   
Progamer: I HAVE TO GO MAKE OUT WITH A FISH OOPS BI  
Yaoi: Uh yeah me 2  
Otakool: -_-  
Alternate titles: HEY I SHIP YASUHIRO AND LEON COULD YA TELL???????. I still haven’t decided if they live in dorms or houses, I still haven’t decided if this is during/after Hope’s Peak, all I know is memes and it’s non-despair, Hanzo’s a cuuunutntuntutnuntuntutntuntunttnt

Also yeah on the 17th is my birthyday so don't expect an update then. I don't know about the 16th either so don't expect an update.


	12. Kiyotaka will forever remain a precious cinnabon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THERE ARE GOING TO BE A LOT OF CRINGY PUNS IN THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Yaoi: UFGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Yaoi: I’m MAD  
Luckster: y  
Yaoi: Naegi quick send me an otp prompt I have writer’s block  
Precious Cinnabon: What’s an “otp prompt”?  
Yaoi: U DON’T KNOW?????????????????????????  
Cornhair: Don’t be mean to him >:(  
Yaoi: U know what an OTP is right?  
Precious Cinnabon: I do not.  
Yaoi: LOJDGSHILDSUFDFKJLBFEIREWUITRIUTWHIREWJUIOERWJUIO  
Yaoi: brb I’m copy-pasting the entirety of the fanfic dictionary website and pm’ing it to Kiyotaka  
Cornhair: NO  
Cornhair: HE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW  
Precious Cinnabon: I enjoy reading dictionaries. So I feel as if this one would be no different.  
Souldier: Taka I swear to god u get higher reading dictionaries more than u would if u did actual drugs  
Precious Cinnabon:That’s ridiculous. You can’t get high off of reading dictionaries!  
Souldier: No shit sherlock that’s the joke  
Precious Cinnabon: Although if you could...what would you call participating in such an activity?  
Precious Cinnabon: Would it be called…  
Luckster: I feel a joke coming  
Precious Cinnabon: High definition? ;D  
19toomanypilots: that joke physically hurt omg  
I have done thy Leon: That was p good joke tho  
Yaoi: TAKA STOP SAYING SHITTY JOKES AND LOOK AT WHAT I PM’D U  
Cornhair: DON’T SCREAM AT TAKA >:(  
Yaoi: What’re u gonna do bout it?  
Yaoi: U can’t hit a grill  
Cornhair: wait ur a girl?  
Yaoi:...  
Luckster: O SHIT  
Precious Cinnabon: Mondo! That’s just rude.  
Cornhair: ok then  
Cornhair: I was making sure Toko wasn’t being mean to u  
Cornhair: Cuz I care  
Precious Cinnabon: Well...I appreciate the thought. Although it could’ve been executed a lot better.  
Yaoi: taka did u read the things I sent u?  
Yaoi: All of it?  
Precious Cinnabon: I did  
Cornhair: gr8  
Cornhair: Uve corrupted him to the point of no return  
Cornhair: He can’t be Precious Cinnabon anymore  
Precious Cinnabon: Does that mean I can have my old name back?  
Cornhair: Nah 2 boring  
Cornhair: We need commissions for Taka’s new name  
Precious Cinnabon: That won’t be necessary  
Progamer: It’s necessary. You need your name changed  
Progamer: It’s not meme-y enough  
Precious Cinnabon: What about your name? It isn’t “meme-y” enough, either.  
Precious Cinnabon: I suggest you change it something else...something like…  
Progamer: Don’t change the topic  
Precious Cinnabon: Cheerio Fujisnacki  
Progamer:...  
Cornhair:...  
Yaoi:...  
Souldier:..  
Luckster:...  
19toomanypilots:...  
I have done thy Leon:...  
Koko Kirigiri:...  
Cherryblossom:...  
Lifedonuts:...  
Hatsune Miku:...  
Progamer changed their name to Cheerio Fujisnacki  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Now listen here u little shit  
Souldier: I could hear Touko face-palming Jesus Christ taka  
Koko Kirgiri: That joke was intense  
Koko Kirigiri: I need a drink  
Precious Cinnabon: If you require a drink, I can offer you something. Would you like some…  
Precious Cinnabon: Hot Kyoko ;D  
Koko Kirigiri: I cant  
Koko Kirigiri: no  
Koko Kirigiri: stahp  
Legs4days: Naegi please let me leave this chat.  
Luckster: Taka’s jokes r actually funny shut  
Precious Cinnabon: I didn’t think you would be so oblivious as to think you can leave this server. Makoto has already made sure anyone who leaves will be brought back.  
Cornhair: Did...did u just call Byakuya an idiot?  
Precious Cinnabon: I did not! However, if I were to call someone I know such rude words, I wouldn’t do it like that.  
Precious Cinnabon: If I were to call Togami and idiot. I would just make it simple and call him...Baka-uya ;D  
19toomanypilots: *stoooooooooooooooooooooooop*  
Yaoi: This gave me the perfect otp prompt thx Taka  
Precious Cinnabon: I’m happy to help.  
Legs4days: Naegi I’m begging you please let me leave this chat.  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I think Byakuya should change his username to Baka-uya  
Legs4days: I will not. That joke is juvenile and degrading.  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Even more degrading than “Legs4days”  
Legs4days: Well, at least that name doesn’t call me an idiot outright.  
Cheerio Fujisnack: -_-  
Cornhair: Now that I think about it, no amount of yaoi will ever corrupt my precious cinnabon <3  
Precious Cinnabon: Mondo! PDA!  
Lifedonuts: get married aLREADY OMFG

Alternate titles: Do these jokes hurt ur soul yet?, I have writer’s block and i wanna write an otp thing help, Some highkey Ishimondo shit in this one, I thought of all these jokes myself except for Cheerio Fujisnacki and high definition I’m not that witty, I almost forgot to write “hanzo’s a cunt” how could i forget?, Hanzo’s a cunt.


	13. 100% Orange Juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where the blackened is the person who drinks the last cup of orange juice? Yes please

19toomanypilots: Ey yo, me and Hiro r going to this bar, u guys wanna join us?  
Luckster: I have nothing going on so me and Togami r coming  
Legs4days: I guess I don’t get a say in anything when it comes to outings.  
Koko Kirigiri: We both know u were going to say no but then “reluctantly” come along with Naegi anyways cuz ur super gay for him  
Legs4days: That is the most ridiculous accusation I’ve ever heard.  
Celestia Lunanberg: So, more ridiculous than that one time someone accused you of drinking the rest of the orange juice?  
Celestia Lunanberg: I recall you said that *that* was the most ridiculous accusation you’ve ever heard  
Lifedonuts: *leans in*  
Lifedonuts: *whispers* we all know you drank the rest of the orange juice  
Legs4days: I thought we had already established that I did not drink the stupid orange juice  
Yaoi: That’s cuz u were drinking something else ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
I have done thy Leon: I can’t believe I’m going to say this but this was super lewd even for Touko  
Luckster: Don’t be this way Touko  
Luckster: We all know that Togami tops ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Lifedonuts: *spits out protein drink because Togami drank all the orange juice*  
Legs4days: I told you, I did not drink the orange juice!  
Koko Kirigiri: Boi u were the last person to be seen taking the orange juice all the evidence point to u  
Hatsune Miku: this is Kyoko we’re talking about  
Legs4days: Well get ready to be mistaken. Because I did not drink the bloody orange juice!  
Luckster: DING DONG YA’LL R WRONG  
Luckster: IT WAS I WHO DRANK THE ORANGE JUICE! >:D  
Lifedonuts: …!  
Lifedonuts: But...that’s impossible!  
Cornhair: Yeah! We all had an alibi! And we even found Togami’s hand-prints on the glass he used to pour the orange juice!  
Luckster: This is where you are mistaken, dear friend. For I had asked Togami to get the orange juice for me!  
Yaoi: B-b-b-b-b-but...how????? Wouldn’t your finger-prints overlap?????  
Precious Cinnapun: Touko’s correct...you weren’t wearing any gloves that day and you had a short-sleeved t-shirt to boot.  
Luckster: I had Togami bring the orange juice back to the counter for me!  
Cornhair: Well...he did confessed to his crime of drinking the orange juice  
Lifedonuts: YEAH! LET’S CAST THE VOTE RIGHT NOW SO WE COULD PUNISH THIS ORANGE JUICE-DRINKER!  
Koko Kirigiri: I agree with Asahina. Let’s just vote  
Hatsune Miku: Hold it! Don’t you find something is...a little odd?  
Koko Kirigiri: What do you mean? We found out who the blackened was.  
Lifedonuts: He confessed to his crime! There’s no way it could be anyone else!  
Hatsune Miku: It’s just that...Togami wouldn’t do these kinds of meaningless favours, not even for Naegi!  
Hatsune Miku: Plus, he could be lying about him drinking the orange juice. It’s very easy to lie over text.  
Precious Cinnapun: That’s a good point. Togami would never do anything for anyone unless it had some sort of benefit to him.  
Precious Cinnapun: So if Maizono is right, that means that Naegi, Togami, and one other person have been plotting this scheme all along.  
Hatsune Miku: I think I have an idea of it but...what if the person who drank the last bit of orange juice was in fact...Kyouko Kirigiri!  
Koko Kirigiri:...!  
Koko Kirigiri: I have no idea where you got that accusation from…  
Yaoi: N-now that I think about it...it does make sense.  
Yaoi: Both Togami and Kirigiri have been silent throughout the entire trial! A-and if I know anything about the two of them, it’s that they never- ever- stay silent!  
Cornhair: You’re right...not only that, but it would make sense for only Togami’s fingerprints to be on the glass because Kirigiri always wears those gloves!  
Koko Kirigiri: I would never do something like that! Where’s your evidence? Show me some proof!  
Hatsune Miku: This should prove it! Kirigiri, I tasted orange juice while we were making out at 11, on the dot! Which would’ve been approximately 5 minutes after Makoto was supposedly drinking the last cup of orange juice!  
Hatsune Miku: And since brushing your teeth after drinking orange juice is nasty, you decided against it!  
Koko Kirigiri:...tch  
Koko Kirigiri: I guess I’m rubbing off on you, huh  
Yaoi: In more ways than one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Luckster: DON’T BREAK OUT OF CHARACTER >:(  
Hatsune Miku: Now the only thing missing...the motive.  
Cornhair: I thought that it was already established that orange juice tastes fuckin’ great  
Hatsune Miku:...no...no that. We already came to the conclusion that Makoto and Togami were the ones helping Kirigiri drink the last bit of orange juice...but why Makoto and Togami?  
Hatsune Miku: Togami would never agree to do anything like that and Makoto’s too good to help someone get away with drinking the last cup of OJ, so why? Why them?  
Lifedonuts: YEAH! OUT WITH IT YOU LAST-CUP-OF-OJ-DRINKING-HELPERS >:(  
Luckster:...Well...you see...we- uh  
Legs4days: I guess there’s no use keeping our sexual life a secret with Touko around. So I might as well say it now.  
Legs4days: Kirigiri promised not to tell anyone what we were doing last night if we helped her.  
Hatsune Miku: W-W-W-WHAT? KIRIGIRI YOU….B-BLACKMAILED THEM?!  
Koko Kirigiri: Yes...I was looking for the perfect opportunity to get some helpers to assist me with forming and executing my plan.  
Hatsune Miku: That...CAN’T BE TRUE! I KNOW YOU’D NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!  
Precious Cinnapun: Are we sure it was Kirigiri? Maybe it was Celeste, she wears gloves too.  
Celestia Lunanberg:I think you’re forgetting that I had drank the cup of orange juice before Kirigiri  
Celestia Lunanberg: Besides, I had multiple alibi’s at the time of the crime. Both Yamada and Ikusaba were with me and can confirm that.  
Otakool: Yes! That is wholly true! I was serving miss Ludenberg the finest of milk tea at the time of the crime!  
Souldier: And I can confirm that I was with Celestia too at the same time.  
Yaoi: Why were u with Celestia so late hmmmmmmm? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Celestia Lunanberg: Ikusaba and I wanted to see who could make the better tactical decisions in a game of Pokemon.  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: YA’LL KNOW I LOVE POKEMON WHY TF WASN’T I INVITED????? >:((((((  
Celestia Lunanberg: We all know you would’ve won, Fujisaki. Your vaster array of knowledge would’ve given you an unfair advantage.  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I’m still mad >-<  
Hatsune Miku: So after piecing together all the evidence, I can finally tell the story of the last cup of oj drinker  
Hatsune Miku: So, we can conclude that after watching Celestia drink a cup of oj and leaving just a bit left, Kirigiri wanted that last bit before anyone else could have it, so she devised a plan. After a particularly loud love-making session between Naegi and Togami, Kirigiri threatened to reveal their secret kinks if they don’t help her drink that last bit of oj.  
Hatsune Miku: That plan had Togami pouring out the last cup of orange juice and then taking it to his and Makoto’s room, which concluded in Kirigiri drinking it instead. And since she always wears gloves, her fingerprints wouldn’t be left on the glass.  
Hatsune Miku: However, Kirigiri neglected to brush her teeth afterwards. And after a rather sloppy kiss, Kirigiri had sealed the nail in her coffin and I was able to tell the distinct taste of orange juice on her tongue.  
Hatsune Miku: When the trial rolled around, Makoto took the heat off of both Togami and Kirigiri so that Kirigiri could get away scott-free and get away with such a horrible crime.  
Junko Enoshima has joined Dank Memes Broken Dreams  
Junko Enoshima has changed her name to Despear  
Souldier: Fuck, she’s back  
Despear: Upupupupupupu~ you thought your shitty puns could keep me from causing despair? You were WRONG >:D  
Despear: ANYWAY, LET’S HOLD THE VOTE TO SEE WHO’S THE BLACKENED  
Despear: AAAAAND, THE VOTE IS UNANIMOUS, THE ONE WHO DRANK THE LAST BIT OF ORANGE JUICE WAS NONE OTHER THAN OUR PRECIOUS KYOUKO KIRIGIRI!  
Koko Kirigiri: Before I go, I want to tell you, Sayaka. I love you, and I’m so proud of you. You managed to find me out almost on your own. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me, to see how much you improved...it warms my heart than anything ever could.  
Hatsune Miku: Kyouko…  
Koko Kirigiri: Shhhh, it’s alright, you don’t have to speak.  
Koko Kirigiri: *tenderly kisses Sayaka*  
Despear: ALRIGHT THEN, LET’S GO! IIIIIIIT’S PUNISHMENT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME >:D  
Hatsune Miku: I...Kyouko…  
Koko Kirigiri: Never forget me...because I’ll never forget you, my love.  
Hatsune Miku: *tears roll down cheeks*  
Yaoi: aw, these two are so gay <3  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I agree, it was like they were meant for each other  
Precious Cinnapun: I couldn’t agree more as well.  
Despear: Wait...Chihiro...Taka...ur names…  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: What?  
Despair has left the group  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Wow jeez, rude >:(  
19toomanypilots: So...does that mean you guys are coming to the club with me and Hiro? Or not?  
Yaoi: Depends  
Yaoi: Is it a gay bar? ;3

Alternate titles: This OJ tangent went for waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long, I wonder if anyone would notice I changed taka’s name before I mentioned it…, there should be more AU’s where the blackened is a person who drank the last bit of OJ/ ate the last donut, I would pay to see that, like 2 dollars, Everyone in the official church of Hanzo is a cunt, wait does that count as hate-speech since that’s an actual thing? Oops.


	14. Celeste finally gets a chapter and it's only the second last one alright jeez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure filth. I'm sorry.

Lifedonuts: GUYS I NEED HELP QUICK  
Luckster: Wot is it?  
Lifedonuts: CHOCOLATE-COVERED PRETZELS OR GUMMI BEARS???  
Yaoi: Pretzels  
Precious Cinnapun: Gummy bears.  
Yaoi: Autocorrect changed chocolate-covered pretzels to gummy bears lol get that phone fixed  
Precious Cinnapun: No...I personally prefer gummy bears over chocolate-covered pretzels.  
Yaoi: hahahahah nice joke Ishimaru  
Yaoi: No srsly gummy bears are disgusting lol  
Precious Cinnapun: I’m...not joking  
Yaoi: Yes you are.  
Precious Cinnapun:...  
Celestia Lunanberg: Get the gummy bears. Chocolate-covered pretzels are revolting  
Souldier: Don’t say these things in front of Touko  
Souldier: Genocide Jill gets...stabby when it comes to this debate  
Celestia Lunanberg: I can handle Genocide Jill when it comes to these sorts of things  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Ok I have to do it since Touko’s not doing it  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Celestia Lunanberg: Sigh, how juvenile  
Souldier: I just saw Genocide Jill leaving her house with 5 scissors in one hand and a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels in the other  
Souldier: Celestia, she knows your address  
Celestia Lunanberg: It’s alright, I have Hifumi standing guard for me  
Celestia Lunanberg: I am fully prepared  
19toomanypilots: Are we just ignoring the fact that Genocide Jill is planning to murder one of our friends?  
Cornhair: Yes we are  
Cornhair: ANYWAYS SINCE SHE’S GONE GUMMY BEARS ARE SUPERIOR  
Lifedonuts: o u guys took too long to say anything so i just bought a donut  
Lifedonuts: fuck there’s this one girl with like 10 fucking bottles of orange juice at the front of the line and sHE’S TAKING TOO DAMN LONG TO PUT THE JUICE ON THE CONVENER BELT   
Precious Cinnapun: Maybe I should consider bringing back the swear jar. One week of it’s presence and I had enough to afford a 7-course meal in one of those 5-star restaurants Byakuya frequents.  
Cherryblossom: Please ignore Hina’s vulgar language. She gets cranky when she wants to eat donuts  
Koko Kirigiri: Fuck there’s this one girl behind me swearing at me and sending glares at me while I’m trying to re-stock on orange juice  
Hatsune Miku: Please excuse Kirigiri’s language. She gets cranky when she wants to drink orange juice  
Hatsune Miku: wait…  
Lifedonuts...ooops  
Luckster: I wonder how Celestia is doing…  
Celestia Lunanberg: Hot.jpg  
Celestia Lunanberg: Hot_2.jpg  
Celestia Lunanberg: Hot_3.jpg  
Luckster: Well I guess that answers my question  
Luckster: But we didn’t need to know abt ur anime-girl whipping/bondage fetish  
Precious Cinnapun: I thought we banned the posting of pornographic images…  
Celestia Lunanberg: FUCK DON’T LOOK DELELTE  
Legs4days: I demand an explanation before I pour bleach over my eyes after what I had witnessed.  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: tbh not gunna lie that’s kinda hot  
Legs4days: Not you too, Fujisaki.  
Otakool: Well...instead of stabbing mistress to death, Jill decided to leak the most embarrassing images on her phone while shoving chocolate-coated pretzels down her throat  
Otakool: I had to stop Jill by tackling her, but not before she took all the gummy bears and threw them in the trash  
Cornhair: Jesus christ. Taka dodged a bullet there  
Yaoi: Uhuhuhuhuh~ I wonder what dirty, embarrassing things that hall monitor has hidden behind his phone…  
Yaoi: I could just imagine it. Outside he’s a total prude, yet all those years of built-up sexual frustration pop out at night; revealing themselves to Mondo and only Mondo  
Yaoi: The thought of what he could be hiding sends shivers down my spine~ it’s making me drool I can only *imagine*  
Cornhair: YAMADA I THOUGHT U TIED HER DOWN  
Otakool: I think you’re forgetting that she has 5 very sharp scissors in her hand and she’s threatening to stab me if I don’t get off  
Celestia Lunanberg: Well at least people stopped talking about the images…  
19toomanypilots: Boi we all knew that u were a closet weeb  
Koko Kirigiri: Yeah...it wasn’t much of a secret  
Celestia Lunanberg: I am not! That’s preposterous!   
Yaoi: uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu~ I can see all your hentai posters honey~ I can personally confirm it  
Yaoi: In fact…  
Yaoi: Photo.jpg  
Cornhair: That’s pretty unmistakable yaoi over there  
Cornhair: Jesus christ that’s some kinky shit  
Luckster: No wonder she hangs out with Yamada all the time…  
Otakool: Well...we do share common interests  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: wE DO NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ANYMORE CLOSET FETISHES U 2 SHARE  
Yaoi: Well I do~  
Celestia Lunanberg: YAMADA I DEMAND YOU KNOCK OUT JILL AT ONCE  
Otakool: I WILL NOT FAIL MY MISTRESS >:3  
Precious Cinnapun: So...are we just going to leave all these pornographic images be or…  
Luckster: o right  
Luckster: d.let  
Legs4days: I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight after witnessing these...messes.  
Yaoi: I know I will~  
Celestia Lunanberg: YAMADA TRY HARDER  
Celestia Lunanberg: I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO KILL HER JUST DO SOMETHING!  
Otakool: D:  
Celestia Lunanberg: Can...we pretend this never happened?  
Luckster: NOPE  
Legs4days: Yes, please.  
Luckster: Holy shit Togami said please  
Luckster: I can’t pass up this opportunity now huh  
Celestia Lunanberg: I apologies for...losing control. I promise not to allow my...personal life to frequent this server  
Lifedonut: The only sorry I accept will be holy water  
Lifedonut: Ya’ll need jesus  
Cherryblossom: Hina, you’re an atheist  
Lifedonut: I know  
Lifedonut: These images had me looking for a bible tho

Alternate titles: Celeste is a kinky shit, so is Genocide Jill but that’s not rlly a surprise, so is Chihiro wow jeeez, ya’ll need jesus, even tho this is japan, again with the kinky shit what is wrong with me, Hanzo’s not a cunt, SIKE


	15. Naegi Tops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the title m8

Cornhair: Not to be rude or anything but anyone wanna explain y Taka is crying in the bed, eating garlic bread and refusing to talk to me?  
Luckster: I...don’t know  
I have done thy Leon: Hm...Leon is currently laughing his ass off and being totally adorable so I think he has something to do with it  
Cornhair: Leon tf did u do?????  
Lifedonuts: aw poor Ishimaru  
Lifedonuts: Mondo u should probs go and talk to him  
Lifedonuts: Maybe like marry him or smthn just to make him feel better  
Cornhair: U sound like Touko rn  
Yaoi: Nah im like 10x lewder  
19toomanypilots: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  
Cornhair: Explain before I beat u into the ground  
19toomanypilots: Alright then edgelord  
19toomanypilots: I thought that was Togami’s job  
Legs4days: >:(  
Cornhair: Don’t change the subject  
19toomanypilots: okokokokokokokok  
19toomanypilots: So yesterday u left ur phone in the living room while getting food from Mcnaldos while I was over so of course I decided to text taka bout how much “u” hate him  
Cornhair: U WHAT????????????  
19toomanypilots: can u not read?  
Cornhair: I SWEAR TO GOD LEON I WILL END UR EXISTENCE  
Koko Kirigiri: That would explain y Taka wasn’t in class 2 day  
Luckster: Is it just me or did he type out Mcnaldos?  
19toomanypilots: ok wow jeez I locked the door but Mondo’s still trying to get in help  
I have done thy Leon: Can’t, I’m on the job  
I have done thy Leon: Ur on ur own m8  
19toomanypilots: fugg  
Lifedonuts: Mondo being a gay bf reminds me of something  
Lifedonuts: Anyone see Sakura 2day?  
Lifedonuts: I’m getting worried D:  
Luckster: I wouldn’t be worried. It’s sakura m8  
Luckster: One time she got mugged, the guy shot her and she just...grabbed the bullet  
Koko Kirigiri: Is that even physically possible?  
Luckster: It’s Sakura, anything is possible  
Lifedonuts: Still, she’s been gone for like 3 hours and she said she’s just getting lunch  
Lifedonuts: Do...u think she’s cheating on me? D:  
I have done thy Leon: If there’s one thing I know about Sakura is that: 1. She’s going to become the stronkest person ever and 2. She’d never cheat on Hina  
I have done thy Leon: I’m at least 30% right  
Lifedonuts: THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER >:(  
Cherryblossom: My apologies for being late Hina, I just arrived back home and wanted to surprise you with your favorite donuts.  
Cherryblossom: The donut place was having some troubles and I knew that any other donuts wouldn’t be as good.  
Lifedonuts: AW SAKURA U DIDN’T HAVE 2  
Lifedonuts: <3  
Yaoi: The gay levels are high today  
Luckster: Compared to what we normally happens, this isn’t even close  
Yaoi: tru  
I have done thy Leon: So uh  
I have done thy Leon: I feel like I should check on Leon  
I have done thy Leon: To make sure he isn’t bleeding out on the carpet rn  
I have done thy Leon: Carpet-cleaning is boring and I don’t wanna explain to the guys why our carpet has blood on it  
19toomanypilots: WOW THX LOVE U TOO  
I have done thy Leon: Ah, so ur alive! That’s gud  
19toomanypilots: I’m alive and my head hurts  
19toomanypilots: There’s no blood anywhere so that’s gud  
I have done thy Leon: Just the way I like my Leons <3  
Cornhair: eh, rlly wanted to beat u up some more but Taka wouldn’t like that so  
Precious Cinnapun: I wouldn’t approve of hurting a friend, period. However, I do accept your apology.  
Cornhair: :D  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Everyone’s in a relationship rn and I’m just here forever alone  
Yaoi: What about…  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: NO  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: STOP  
Yaoi: HUEHEUHEUEHEUHEEUHEUHEEUHEUEHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUEHEUHEUEHEUHEH  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: anyways I’m going to Mcnaldo’s and Togami dropped a hundred dollar bill anyone want anything?  
Luckster: Y DOES EVERYONE SAY MCNALDO’S TF AM I MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING???  
Precious Cinnapun: You should return that money to Togami at once; this is just blunt thievery  
Legs4days: He can keep that money. It’s such an insignificant amount for me, I don’t care.  
Cornhair: wait can u stop by Bubger Kirg and get me a Wooopre thx  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: No prob dood  
Luckster: What’s a Bubger Kirg?  
Cornhair: Dood how do u not know Bubger Kirg?  
Luckster: Do...do you mean Burger King?  
Luckster: Kiyotaka shuld know what Im talkin abt  
Luckster:...Taka?  
Cornhair: He can’t talk he’s eating garlic bread and being cute  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I want garlic bread :<  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I’ll buy garlic bread 2  
Yaoi: Get me some chocolate-covered pretzels if u don’t mind  
Celestia Lunanberg: *PTSD flashback*  
Yaoi: Oh yeh I remember Jill doing a thing  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: oops  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Hina u want some donuts?  
Lifedonuts: nah I have plenty of donuts  
Lifedonuts: and my even sweeter donut <3  
Cherryblossom: <3  
Yaoi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
Lifedonuts: tbh at this point I feel desensitized to anything lennyface-related  
Yaoi: Dang  
Luckster: I think we’re all forgetting something v important  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: wot is it  
Luckster: Emoji movie’s in 5 days  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: fUCK YEAAAA  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I’m going to go out w/ my new July 28th shirt  
Legs4days: Are you seriously going to degrade yourself to the point where you’re wearing that dumb shirt in public?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I’m sorry Togami- sorry, I mean “Legs4days”  
Legs4days: I told you, I lost a bet.  
Celestia Lunanberg: That was a good day…  
Legs4days: You know what, I have a bet to make with you. And if I win, you change your username to something just as embarrassing.  
Luckster: Togami no I think you’re forgetting that she’s the Ultimate Gambler ull get destroyed  
Yaoi: “Ull get destroyed” -Naegi to his boyfriend 2k17  
Celestia Lunanberg: And if I win?  
Legs4days: You get to change my name into whatever you want for a second time.  
Celestia Lunanberg: Hm, I’m feeling quite confident so far. What’s the bet?  
Legs4days: I bet you that I can guess exactly how many bruises Mondo has given Leon just now.  
Celestia Lunanberg: Oh, you’re on  
19toomanypilots: good luck my man  
Legs4days: From past experience, I can confidently say that Mondo gave you four bruises.  
19toomanypilots: Close, but nah  
19toomanypilots: It’s more 4 and a half  
Legs4days: That...shouldn’t count!  
Luckster: ooooh  
Luckster: OOOOOOH  
Luckster: Togami’s face is that of pure horror  
Legs4days: Mondo almost always gives his victims four bruises before leaving. I refuse to believe what you’re saying is true.  
Cornhair: bro ur talking about this like i just murdered someone  
19toomanypilots: He gave me an extra bruise when he opened the door after knocking and smacked me across the head  
Cornhair: lol I remember that. Didn’t think that gave u a brise tho  
I have done thy Leon: Yep, after checking his head and taking off his shirt I can conclude that Leon has 5 bruises  
Yaoi: y were u taking his shirt off, I bet it’s for more than just checking for bruises ;3  
I have done thy Leon: U got that right ;)  
19toomanypilots: Hiro I will murder u someday  
Celestia Lunanberg: Seems as if I had won yet another bet.  
Celestia Lunanberg: I say you change your name to...what’s something especially degrading?  
Celestia Lunanberg: I got it: I say you change your name to “Naegi tops”  
Koko Kirigiri: *almost drowns spitting out orange juice*  
Hatsune Miku: Honey, u should be careful when drinking   
Luckster: OMFG STFU I CNAT BREATHE OMG RIP TOGMAI HES DESPIARING SO HARD RN  
Yaoi: “So hard rn” -Naegi Makoto 2k17  
Celestia Lunanberg: Don’t tell me you’re backing out of our deal now, are you Togami?  
Legs4days changed their name to Naegi Tops  
Naegi Tops: There, you’ve gotten your childish laughs, are you happy?  
Celestia Lunanberg: Very.  
Souldier: Celestia scares me sometimes  
Souldier: And it’s not becuz of the kinky hentai  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I’ve bought $50 worth of garlic bread anyone wanna come over for a garlic bread party?  
Luckster: I think I can speak for all of us when I say all of us r coming  
Koko Kirigiri: Will there be orange juice?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: U can bring ur own but if ur not going to yes I have like 2 bottles of OJ  
Yaoi: Chocolate-covered pretzels?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: For the sake of Celeste’s sanity I’ll see bring ur own  
Celestia Lunanberg: *nods feverently*  
Cherryblossom: Will there be donuts? Hina ate all of them  
Lifedonuts: Oops :P  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I brought donuts and backup-donuts so yeh  
Lifedonuts: yisssssss

Alternate titles: Heyheyheyheyheyheyhey, did u check the tags and chapter count?, there should be more fics where Naegi tops tbh, I wish I had that much garlic bread :(, Mondo is a good bf, Hiro not so much, Sakura for smash bros. 5 nintendo plz, Sakura is good gf, so is Sayaka, I’m running out of ways to say Hanzo’s a cunt


	16. CHICKENS ARE SICK AF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lacroix is shit

19toomanypilots: Hey Hiro...hun   
I have done thy Leon: yeeeees  
19toomanypilots: ily an all but why in the eVERLOVING FUCK IS THERE A FUCKING LIVE CHICKEN IN OUR LIVING ROOM?????  
Luckster: Lunch?  
I have done thy Leon: dON’T U DARE HURT SPARKLES OR I WILL FUCKING KILL U  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: LMAO SPARKLES  
19toomanypilots: WHAT SO MY LIFE IS LESS IMPORTANT THAN A STUPID CHICKENS????   
I have done thy Leon: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT  
19toomanypilots: WHERE DID U EVEN GET A PET CHICKEN????????????????????????  
I have done thy Leon: 1. THAT ISN’T IMPORTANT AND 2. HE’S OUR NEW PET SO GET USED TO IT  
Cornhair: This is getting intense  
Cornhair: U guys mind taking this to the pm’s? We don’t need to know abt Hiro’s weird chicken fetish  
I have done thy Leon: BOI STFU AND ALSO CHICKEN’S ARE PRECIOUS AND GIVE U EGS THEY’RE THE FUCKING BEST I WILL FITE U U WANNA GO M8 IM REDDY  
Hatsune Miku: I’m trying to get my fortune read rn and Hiro’s just sitting there angrily typing on his phone and grumbling about chickens can u not?  
19toomanypilots: i NEVER AGREED TO HAVING A FUCKING PET CHICKEN U COULD’VE ATLEAST TOLD ME  
Koko Kirigiri: I live right next to Leon and I can hear him screaming lmfao  
Precious Cinnapun: Chickens make great pets! There was this old lady living next to us when I was young, she had a couple chickens and would regularly make egg dishes and pass them out in the neighborhood. I always wanted a pet chicken, they seemed like such sweet animals.  
Cornhair: I remember that old bitch, she called me a good-for-nothing gangster  
I have done thy Leon: THINK OF IT LEON, WE’D NEVER RUN OUT OF EGS  
I have done thy Leon: AND YEH TAKA’S RIGHT CHICKENS ARE SICK AF  
Precious Cinnapun: Well...that may be so but that’s no excuse of calling her a “bitch”.  
Otakool: I don’t know y but “CHICKENS ARE SICK AF” made me laugh omg  
19toomanypilots: I’M FUCKING ALLERGIC TO EGGS U DUMB CUNT  
Luckster: WOA THERE  
I have done thy Leon: D:  
19toomanypilots: omg im so sorry i snapped at u and the chicken plz 5give   
I have done thy Leon: Iss ok I 5give  
I have done thy Leon: Yeh I should’ve probs talked to u b4 buying a chicken oops :P  
Cornhair: R u just gonna forget she’s also incredibly racist?  
Precious Cinnapun:...She is? I never noticed that...well...that would make some of the things she says make sense...  
I have done thy Leon: So what do u want for dinner?   
19toomanypilots: There’s this one restaurant nearby that serves the best fucking chicken wings omg we should go to it  
19toomanypilots: wait...shit  
Hatsune Miku: Ok rn he burst into tears Leon fix this  
19toomanypilots: ah- shit  
19toomanypilots: We can get the hamburgers instead?  
I have done thy Leon: That...would be better  
19toomanypilots: I’m sorry bb <4  
I have done thy Leon: <4  
19toomanypilots: <5  
I have done thy Leon: <6  
19toomanypilots: <1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  
I have done thy Leon: <1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001  
Luckster: Have u guys seen Togami 2days?  
Luckster: I haven’t seen him since the Naegi Tops incident  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: He wasn’t in the garlic bread party so i dunno  
Cornhair: He’s probs in his room drinking sparkling water cuz he’s 2 gud for normal water  
Luckster: orange sparkling’s water the best!  
Naegi Tops: Ugh, Naegi I thought I taught you better.  
Luckster: Lmao I knew that the stupid orange sparkling water would get u to talk  
Luckster: anyway where tHE FUCK HAVE U BEEN   
Naegi Tops: It’s none of your business.  
Celestia Lunanberg: He’s over at my place  
Luckster: I don’t even want to know  
Luckster: Like legit I’m not even joking u can stay there all u want just don’t tell me why  
Naegi Tops: What? You think I share Celestia’s obsessions? If so, you are sorely mistaken.  
Koko Kirigiri: Screenshot.jpg  
Koko Kirigiri: While u were out I took ur phone and screen shotted urs and Celestia’s convos. Then I messaged the screenshot to my phone  
Naegi Tops: That is an invasion of privacy!  
Souldier: FUCK NOT AGAIN  
Cornhair: So they’re trading hentai now?   
Luckster: TOGAMI I THOUGHT U WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN’T HAVE A WEIRD KINK HERE   
Koko Kirigiri: Naegi ur not one to talk   
Luckster: tru  
Luckster: Also D.let  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: I wish I could leave this chatroom…

Alternate titles: Lemon-flavoured sparkling water gives me flashbacks to 2008, orange sparkling water is trash i will FITE U, best flavour is obvs mixed berry, Lacroix isn’t even real sparkling water it’s fucking tRASH I WILL FITE U, Crystal Geyser is the good shit m8, o also Hanzo enjoys orange flavoured sparkling water which means he’s a fucking cUNT


	17. Hope_Slut vs It's Despair,  Mukuro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope vs Despair who will win?
> 
> Also yeh Jill has a thing for stabbing ppl

Cheerio Fujisnacki: hey  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: hey Mondo  
Cornhair: wot?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: remember that one time me u and Ishimaru went out to this club  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: and u got suuuuuper drunk  
Cornhair: noooOOOOOOOOOOO  
Cornhair: STOOOOOOP  
Luckster: I swear to god if he has like a corn fetish or some shit im going to be so done  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: LOL OMFG I WISH  
Lifedonuts: DID HE DRUNKENLY PROPOSE TO ISHIMARU?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: um no  
Lifedonuts: ok im out  
Luckster:...  
Koko Kirigiri: Did he drink all the orange juice?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: Why would he...no  
Celestia Lunanberg: Does he happen to share some of mine and Togami’s...interests?  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: OK JESUS CHRIST IT WASN’T THAT BAD OMG  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: ALL HE DID WAS MAKE A SCENE AND PROFESS HIS LOVE TO ISHIMARU IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WHERE DID U GUYS GET THESE IDEA????  
Cornhair: ur never going to let me live this down r u?  
Yaoi: What? It isn’t even that embarrassing!   
Yaoi: tbh Mondo if ur going to be embarrassed over something make it something reeeeeaaally weird  
Cornhair: wat like Jill’s stabbing fetish?  
Yaoi: PRECISELY  
Souldier: lol at least ur not having an orgasm over Despair like Junko  
Souldier: Like literally she could lose a hairband and she’d have a speech about despair and shit like bitch UR NOT THE FUCKING PRESIDENT CALM YA TITS  
Hatsune Miku: r we just going to ignore the fact that Jill is aroused by ppl getting stabbed?  
Yaoi: yes  
Luckster: boi have u even met Komaeda? He won’t stfu abt hope  
Luckster: I thought we could bond over both being ultimate lucky students but jesus christ he won’t calm down  
Cornhair: Would u rather be stuck in the same room for an hour w/ Junko or Komaeda?  
Souldier: Komaeda  
Luckster: Junko  
Souldier: If I have to listen to Junko’s stupid ass despair fucking speeches im going to shoot the next kitten i see in the face  
19toomanypilots: ok woag calm down  
Luckster: jeez and I thought Komaeda was bad y do u even hang out w/ Junko?  
Souldier: Cuz if I do the shit she tells me she’ll stfu  
Junko Enoshima joined Dank Memes Broken Dreams  
Junko Enoshima changed their name to Dispear  
Souldier: omfg no gO AWAY  
Dispear: I HEARD THAT U WERE TALKIN SHIT AND U DIDN’T THINK THAT I WOULD HEAR IT  
Dispear: OOooooh, my dear sis, can u say I’m causing u despair~?  
Souldier: the ~ goes after the question mark you fat cunt  
Luckster: WOAH THERE  
Dispear: I love you too, sis~  
Dispear: Upupupupupupupupu~ the amount of despair I’m causing must be just the worse~  
Souldier: not rlly ur just a bitch  
Cheerio Fujisnacki: o yeah Junko I wanted to ask u a question  
Dispear: Please, ask me the most despair-inducing question you have  
Cheerio Fujisnacki y did u get super triggered when we said food puns even tho ur name is a food pun  
Dispear: My name…  
Despear: Mukuro u piece of garabage  
Souldier: huehueheuheueheuheuheuheuhe  
Cornhair: quick someone call taka and tell him to make a shitty joke before Junko makes Mukuro commit sudoku  
Precious Cinnapun: Why are keyboards always tired?  
Precious Cinnapun: It has two shifts!  
Dispear changed their name to It’s Despair, Mukuro  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: HAH, UR SHITTY JOKES WON’T HARM ME ANY MORE  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: I HAVE GROWN A RESISTANCE TO THEM  
Precious Cinnapun: You mean…  
Precious Cinnapun: *Groan* a resistance  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: omg that pun was so bad bUT I SHALL LIVE ON  
Souldier: FUCK WHAT SHOULD WE DO NOW?  
Luckster: I HAVE A BACKUP PLAN DON’T WORRY  
Luckster added Hope_Slut to Dank Memes Broken Dreams  
Hope_Slut: Ah, Makoto! I am honored that you have decided to add such a piece of trash like me to this amazing group chat!  
Luckster: k that’s nice and all but can u chase off Junko? She’s rlly annoying and she’s talking abt despair a lot  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: o fuck no not this guy  
Hope_Slut: Of course! I would gladly be used as a stepping stool towards the greater good of hope!  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: no one cares  
Hope_Slut: I would do anything for the side of hope, and I mean anything. As long as hope will prevail in the end, I would gladly throw my useless body away for the sake of hope.  
Hope_Slut: If I have to kidnap Junko and torture her for the preservation of hope I would more than gladly do it. If I have to murder someone so that hope shines over despair, I would more than gladly do it. If I have to sell my body to fight in the side of hope, I would absolutely do it!  
Hope_Slut: I would more than gladly turn any despair into hope, even if it means mine or other’s deaths.  
Yaoi: k that’’s nice but can u not repeat the word hope so much it’s sorta triggering me  
Hope_Slut: Does the word hope trigger you? Are you fighting for the side of despair? Are you feeling *despair* as I repeat the word hope over and over?  
Yaoi: I’m feeling p annoyed cuz ur using the same word over and over incorrectly u dumbfuck  
Yaoi: I don’t care if the word was hope or fucking pineapple or some shit just stop repeating it so much omg  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: This dood is making me annoyed to the point where I wanna punch him in the face but not so annoying to the point of despair stfu  
Hope_Slut: I will never stop! As long as you are fighting for the sake of despair, I will never stop till the day I die!  
It’s Despair, Mukuro: omg just shut up already  
It’s Despair, Mukuro has left Dank Memes Broken Dreams  
Hope_Slut: My job here is done  
Hope_Slut has left Dank Memes Broken Dreams  
Cornhair:...Are they gone yet?  
Luckster: I think so  
Lifedonuts: So...we’re just going to ignore the fact that 1: some guy would gladly kill ppl for hope and also has self-depricating/suicidal tendencies and 2: Jill stabs ppl and gets turned on by it?  
Yaoi: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE  
Yaoi: HEY AT LEAST IM NOT LIKE THAT KINKY BITCH CELESTE AMIRITE  
Celestia Lunanberg: I hate u all

Alternate titles: did u like that Komaeda cameo? Gud cuz he’s probs not going to be in another chapter, I’ve only played the original DR1 game and half of DR2 ok I don’t know how Mukuro acts in-game, I mean I dunno if I’ll ever add DR2 kids in this they’ll probs just be mentioned/cameo’d and won’t be part of the main cast, both Junko and Hanzo are faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat cunts.


	18. The Emoji Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chihiro is best sassy chile

 

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Luckster:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Cornhair:** aaa?

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** FINALLY AFTER SO LONG

**Luckster:** THE NEW

**Cheerio Fujisnacki** : LONG AWAITED

**Luckster:** MEME-TASTIC

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** EMOJI

**Luckster:** MOVIE

**Naegi Tops:** So...this is why Naegi has been screaming all night.

**Yaoi:** r u sure it’s not for any other yaoi-related reasons? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Naegi Tops:** Yes, I was sure it wasn’t  for any...yaoi-related...reasons.

**Luckster:** SO WHO’S HYPED 4 EMOJI MOVIE

**Naegi Tops:** I doubt anyone else is “hyped” for such an asinine theatrical release.

**Koko Kirigiri:** DING DONG YA’LL R WRONG

**Luckster** : THAT’S MY LINE D:<

**Koko Kirigiri:** I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHO *ISN’T* HYPED FOR EMOJI MOVIE AMIRITE

**Naegi Tops:** I’m not.

**Koko Kirigiri:** well that’s togami and no one cares abt him so

**Luckster:** I CARE D:

**Precious Cinnapun:** I have a test on politics coming up and I don’t feel the need to go out today.

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** WHO CARES ULL PROBS ACE THIS TEST EVEN IF U DON’T STUDY

**Cornhair:** 1\. BOI THIS IS TAKA WE’RE TALKIN BOUT HERE THE  WORLD COULD BE ENDING AND HE STILL WOULD BE STUDYING. 2.  THIS IS ALSO POLITICS ONE TIME HE GOT BACK A TEST ON WORLD POLITICS AND HE GOT AN 89 OK SO STFU

**19toomanypilots:** Mondo ur gay is showing

**Yaoi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** So everyone except for Taka and Togami is coming?

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** I gotta know how much garlic bread I should buy

**Souldier:** I have to babysit Junko so im out

**Yaoi:** Is it rlly babysitting? Or is it...something else?  ;)

**Souldier:** NO

**Souldier:** STOP

**Souldier:** *holds up cross* BEGONE DEVIL BEGONE

**Yaoi:** *hisses*

**Yaoi:** *jumps away*

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** As an apology 4 touko’s actions im buying u some garlic bread

**Souldier:** yes plz much appreciated

**Yaoi:** o yeah im cumming 2

**Luckster:** u did that on purpose toko didn’t u

**Yaoi:** LMAO I wish lol my phone autocorrected that shit

**Cornhair:** THAT’S EVEN WORSE

**Yaoi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**I have done thy Leon:** Hey...hey guys…

**19toomanypilots:** wot

**I have done thy Leon:** It’s 4:20 AM ;)

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** DOUBLT THE FUCKING MEMES 

**Luckster:** We’re going at the 10 am screening of the emoji movie roight?

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** OF- FUCKING- COURSE 

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** also yes I bought everyone July 28th shirts so that we could watch the movie as a harmony

**Luckster:** YEET

**Cornhair:** I am not putting that fucking shirt on

**Celestia Lunanberg:** Neither am I.

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** If ur not going to put the shirts on then ill hack u

**Celestia Lunanberg:** I’d like to see you try.

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** *hacker voice* I’m in

**Yaoi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Celestia Lunanberg:** Anyway, I’m going to sleep. I need my beauty rest

**Cornhair:** ye whatever she said

**Luckster:** I need to sleep in preparation for the greatest event in human history

**Koko Kirigiri:** me 2 bi

**1 HOUR L8R**

 

_ Celestia Lunanberg changed their name to ClosetFetishist _

_ Cornhair changed their name to Gay4butter _

_ Koko Kirigiri changed their name to 100%Orangejuice _

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** This is what u guys 4 not wanting to wear the shirts >:3

 

**IT’S 8 AM NOW HOLY SHIT**

 

**19toomanypilots:** BUAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHA

**ClosetFetishist:** I...can’t change my name

**Gay4butter:** CHIHIRO U LITTLE SHIT

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** HUEEHUEUEHEUEHUEHEHUEHUEUFEWPOUDFHDGOPUH

**100%Orangejuice:** tbh I dunno y u changed my name but I like it so

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** UNLESS U WEAR THE SHIRTS I WILL NOT ALLOW U TO CHANGE UR NAME

**Gay4butter:** Lol what a weak ass threat

**Gay4butter:** I’d rather suffer a little embarrassment here than total humiliation in public

**ClosetFetishist:** Saaaaame

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** Well this didn’t go like how I wanted it to

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** :/

**19toomanypilots:** oooooooooh, I dare u to hack my account and change my name

**Cheerio Fujisnacki:** Brb

**19toomanypilots:** No one say anything until Chihiro’s done ok?

 

**30 MINUTES LATER**

 

_ 19toomanypilots changed their name to  “Harder, Hiro, Harder” _

 

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** OK WAIT SHIT HOW DO I TURN IT BACK

**I have done thy Leon:** LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

_ Cheerio Fujisnacki changed their name to 01010000 01010010 01000001 01001110 01001011 01000101 01000100 00100000 01000010 00101001  _

**ClosetFetishist:** um

**01010000 01010010 01000001 01001110 01001011 01000101 01000100 00100000 01000010 00101001:** This is 2 long wait

_ 01010000 01010010 01000001 01001110 01001011 01000101 01000100 00100000 01000010 00101001 changed their name to Sombruh _

**Sombruh:** Much better

**Gay4butter:** and shorter

**Yaoi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Sombruh:** STOP

**Yaoi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Luckster:** ok this is happening

_ Luckster changed their name to JeanfromtheEmojiMovie _

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** Niceeeeeeeee

**Sombruh:** Everything can be hacked...and everyone

**Yaoi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_ Yaoi changed their name to STOP _

**STOP:** This name isn’t as fun ;~;

**Sombruh:** Well ur gonna live w/ it

**Sombruh:** Who’s name should I change next?

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** Togami’s?

**Sombruh:** But his name is perfect as it is

**Naegi Tops:** Have fun trying to hack past my computer. The esteemed Byakuya Togami only has the most secure and expensive system imaginable. I have military-grade protective firewalls on my computer.

_ Naegi Tops changed their name to Areyoushittingme? _

**Areyoushittingme?:** I…

**Sombruh:** Ur password was Makoto Naegi it wasn’t that hard

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** Aw, love u too babe <3

_ Areyoushittingme? changed their name to Naegi Tops _

**Sombruh:** Naegi Tops was already perfect so…

**Naegi Tops:** I hate you all

**Gay4butter:** Chihiro I’m waiting outside for u 

**Sombruh:** Hold on im coming

**STOP:** “im coming” -Chihiro Fujisaki to Mondo Oowada 2k17

**Sombruh:** TOUKO I SWEAR 2 GOD

Alternate titles: I just went to see the emoji movie and it was LIT AF, jk it was p bad but it’s a meme soooo, Chihiro is sassy little shit and i love him, if anyone gets the 100% orange juice reference i will buy u some garlic bread, yes I am going to keep their names like this for all eternity have fun, if u haven’t guessed I watch Rag Tagg a lot, which is y hANZO’S A FUCKING CUNT, also yeah im using rich text now so that reading this fic won't be so unnecessarily annoying.


	19. "I think im getting dick" -Leon 2k17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> o boi if that chapter title doesn't make u want to read this story i don't know what will

 

**Otakool:** Hiro I drew u riding a giant chicken carrying a sword and shield yelling “CHICKENS R SICK AF” 

**Otakool:** o and Leon’s in the background crying in the corner

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** y

**I have done thy Leon:** yes plz send

**Otakool:** Image.jpg

**I have done thy Leon:** yes

**I have done thy Leon:** YES

**I have done thy Leon:** I WILL FRAME THIS IN MY HOME THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL OMG

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** It isn’t that good jeez

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** U only say that cuz ur in a dress

**STOP:** Naegg don’t be like this

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** Naegg?

**STOP:** We all know it’s not the dress, that’s his favorite part

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** toko no

**STOP:** It’s becuz Hiro is riding the chicken and not Leon

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** tOUKO I SWEAR

**Gay4butter:** what has this chat become

**STOP:** Don’t kid urself Mondo it’s always been this way

**Gay4butter:** There were days when I didn’t need to know about everyone’s kink of the week 

**Gay4butter:** Those were purer days…

**ClosetFetishist:** *nods*

**I have done thy  Leon:** He does have a point tho

**STOP:** Personally, I feel enlightened to know everyone’s secret fetishes

**Souldier:** Yeah but ur toko so…

**STOP:** Eh, fair nuff

**Souldier:** anyway me and Junko r throwing a party for ~~an excuse to further the plot~~ ~~~~ no reason who's coming

**100%Orangejuice:** I’ll bring  the ~~stale memes~~ orange juice

**Sombruh:** I’ll bring the  ~~ even staler memes ~~ garlic bread

**I have done thy Leon:** I’m coming, Leon r u?

**STOP:** I don’t have time to type out quotes so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** Can’t

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** I think im getting dick

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovies:** um

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovies:** we didn’t need to know

**STOP:** more lenny-face bait i see

**STOP:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** ouihfduhdpuodOPUBFPODUFPOUFHDUEDJDGBE

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** SICK

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** I MEAN IM GETTING SICK OMFG

**“Harder, Hiro, Harder”:** SIIIIIICK

**Sombruh:** I’ll never let u live this down

_ “Harder, Hiro, Harder” changed their name to “I think im getting dick” _

**Sombruh:** get haked

**I have done thy Leon:** Leon all u had to do was ask ;)

**“I think im getting dick”:** CHIHIRO AT LEAST LET ME CHANGE MY NAME PLZ

**Sombruh:** nop

**Sombruh:** wheres the fun in that >:3

**STOP:** I wrote a book like this once

**STOP:** about the dick not the whole text chatroom thing

**Precious Cinnapun:** I wholly regret joining this chatroom.

**Naegi Tops:** For once I think me and Kiyotaka agree on something not on the grounds of politics.

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovies:** o that’s cute

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovies:** u  thought u had a choice

**“I think im getting dick”:** someday I’ll get my old name back

**“I think im getting dick”:** someday my name won’t be an embarrassing quote

**“I think im getting dick”:** someday I’ll get my dignity back

**STOP:** DIGNITY? I DON’T EVEN KNOW HER

**STOP:** *cries*

**“I think im getting dick”:** if anyone should be crying it should be me

**STOP:** tru

**STOP:** just saying i may or may not be screenshotting our convos and posting them online

**Sombruh:** o shit u 2?

**Sombruh:** i mean what

**“I think im getting dick”:** gr8

**“I think im getting dick”:** now everyone knows all my personal shit

**“I think im getting dick”:** only making this day better

**ClosetFetishist:** Wait...you two...have been screenshotting our conversations...that were supposed to be...private?

**100%Orangejuice:** YEAH WTF IS THAT EVEN  BOUT

**Otakool:** Chihro hide mistress is very angry and she has a knife

**Sombruh:** fack

**STOP:** I HAVE MY CHOCOLATE-COVERED PRETZELS READY BITCH COME AT  ME

**Souldier:** omg Celeste has a bag of gummy bears in her hand is  currently beating Jill to death with them im so proud

**Souldier:** Celeste_beating_the_shit_out_of_Jill_with_a_bag_of_gummy_bears.JPG*

**Otakool:** _ chihiro run _

**“I think im getting dick”:** ah the irony

**Lifedonuts:** ok i love this an all but i just  woke up to a picture of celeste beating the shit  out of Jill with gummi bears and leon’s username being “I think im getting dick” best morning ever

**STOP:** “anall” -Hina 2k17

**Souldier:** BOI UR LYING ON THE FLOOR COVERED IN 4 METRIC FUCKTONS OF GUMMY BEARS HOW R U STILL DOING THIS AND NOT LIKE SUFFOCATING

**STOP:** ILL ONLY STOP TILL I DIE

**Sombruh:** haha yea while u get to swim in gummy bears im drowning in knives shit

**ClosetFetishist:** ah

**ClosetFetishist:** Revenge is sweet <3

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** man I feel so…

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** LUCKY

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** to have met u guys ;)

**Souldier:** taka’s been rubbing off on u

**STOP:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Gay4butter:** bitch what

**Gay4butter:** i will cut u

**Sombruh:** wow jeez

_ Gay4butter changed their name to Gay4Taka _

**Sombruh:**  Gay4butter wasn't gay enough so

**Gay4Taka:** u know what i aint even mad this is gr8

**Precious Cinnapun:** For once in my life, I feel conflicted.

 

*Tell me u can think of a phrase/sentence better than Celeste_beating_the_shit_out_of_Jill_with_a_bag_of_gummy_bears.JPG? O wait u CAN'T

 

Alternate titles: wait what happened in  this chapter i  wrote this at 4 am im confused help, originality is for the weak, RUNNING IN THE 90’S IT’S THE WAY I LIKE TO BE, tbh me trying to write anything on this keyboard just results in the loudest fucking taps in human history, “Celeste_beating_the_shit_out_of_Jill_with_a_bag_of_gummy_bears.JPG” -some stupid Danganronpa crackfic written in 2017, is hanzo a cunt? yes.


	20. Kittens and Precious Cinnabons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the notes plz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KIYOTAKA AND MONDO GET MARRIED AND ADOPT A CAT
> 
> ok now that i have ur attention I need to tell u something v important
> 
> Tomorrow, for the rest of the week and the week after that I'm going to band camp. What that means is that for 12 hours a day I have to practice marching with a teacher that looks and smells like a hobo in the hot Cali sun and playing scales for 6 hours.
> 
> That also means that I can't update regularly for the next 2 weeks. Although, in what little free time I have away from camp, I may or may not publish the odd chapter or two. 
> 
> Trust me, I'm not going to enjoy this at all, so to quench ur guys's thirst for memes, have a parting gift in the form of my favorite videos:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbXmx80ahiY  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyIvtKZwKvk   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF7lv1gfP1Q  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXMskKTw3Bc  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmFg_JQUde8&t=2s  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcBvkGFNCYY&t=83s  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGwgR1F6hxk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcLT4BRgwAw  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CCbaNVU7TE  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5tVbVu9Mkg&index=5&list=PL5SOEb9wi2gocMAUqUJiardfTD6f_AE_0  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dbG4wqN0rQ  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-sgw9bPV4A  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGbhJjXl9Rk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1CdPxXEzoo
> 
> There, a video 4 each day I'm at band camp. Think of it like one of those Christmas calendars for each day of Christmas, except with shitposting and in August.
> 
> Just an FYI I don't know if they'll actually work ok plz tell me if they do/don't
> 
> Plus some bonus Overwatch ones:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIiLz_z1_Lo&t=10s  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7VcSMr3hbc  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNF_pl_WpNg  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVGRAd8TuaQ  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMDItOwN_SU
> 
> Have fun and happy meme-ing <3

**STOP:** fuck

**STOP:** someone kill me

**STOP:** end my existence plz i cant live anymore

**Naegi Tops:** Gladly.

**Souldier:** u sound like Junko

**Souldier:** let me guess u lost ur 3ds?

**STOP:** even worse

**STOP:** so much worse

**Sombruh:** did u find out one guy from ur fave otp is in love with  another person?

**STO** P: bitch that happens every 2.22222 seconds im alive

**ClosetFetishist:** As long as your despairing while being surrounded by gummy bears, I don’t care

**STOP:** yep mmmmmmm love u 2 fren

**“I think im getting dick”:** gay

**STOP:** EW NO  GROSSS Y TF STOPPPPP

**ClosetFetishist** : Leon stop before I slit your fucking throat open.

**I have done thy Leon:** If you’re killing him then u have to kill me first  >:(

**Naegi Tops:** A two-for-one deal? How could this day possibly get any better?

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** hmmmm I don’t think togami likes u guys  but i can’t rlly tell

**Souldier:** Naegi doesn’t like anything except for Naegi and money i bet he punches kittens in the face

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** says the heartless mercenary

**Sombruh:** sick burn

**Souldier:** Well at least I don’t pretend like I’m better than everyone while at the same time dating Naegi

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** :(

**Sombruh:** HOLY SHIT

**Sombruh:** SAVAGE MUKURO STRIKES AGAIN

**Sombruh:** uh oh i see hina typing Mukuro hide

**Lifedonuts:** At least Togami is in a relationship. Everytime u try to approach someone u like they run away screaming

**Lifedonuts:** Whether it’s from ur Fenrir tattoo or ur personality I don’t know

**Cherryblossom:** Hina have I ever told u I love u

**Sombruh:** O SHIT

**Sombruh:** HOLY FUCKING SHIT

**Sombruh:** OH MY GOD

**Sombruh:** THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST SAVAGE THING IVE EVER HEARD

**Sombruh:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Souldier:** low blow Hina

**Souldier:** low fucking blow

**Precious Cinnapun:** After reading what’s above, I can see why Chihiro burst into mine and Mondo’s room while we were trying to sleep before blasting airhorns and screaming.

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** omg

**JeanfromtheEmohiMovie:** I pray for ur soul taka

**STOP:** I THINK YA’LL R FORGETTING Y I INITIATED THIS CONVERSATION IN THE FIRST PLACE

**100%Orangejuice:** *slowly hands Touko some attention*

**Hatsune Miku:** Since Mukuro is dead,  I’ll continue where she left off

**Hatsune Miku:** What’s wrong?

**STOP:** I found a kitten at the side of the road but i can’t fUCKING KEEP IT IT’S SO FUCKING CUTE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** HOLY SHIT WAIT R U SERIOUS????

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** YD U WAIT SO LONG TO TELL US??????

**STOP:** because

**STOP:** sh-shut

**Sombruh:** OOOOOOOH

**Sombruh:** MEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME

**Sombruh:** I WANT THAT CAT GIVE IT TO  ME  *NOW*

**ClosetFetishist:** Do you really want to give that cat to Fujisaki?

**ClosetFetishist:** He’d most likely be too busy coding and spending hours in front of the computer to take proper care of it

**Sombruh:** BOI STFU CATS ARE THE BEST

**Sombruh:** IF TOKO GAVE U THE CAT IT’D PROBABLY BE BETTED AWAY

**ClosetFetishist:** I would never do such thing to a live creature!

**Sombruh:** U tried to bet away Hifumi one time I wouldn’t be surprised

**ClosetFetishist:** He doesn’t count

**Otakool:** ;_;

**STOP:** um

**I have done thy Leon:** OOOOH I WANT THAT CAT

**“I think im getting dick”:** HIRO NO WE ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING CHICKEN I SWEAR TO GOD IF U GET ANOTHER PET IM GOING TO KILL U AND THAT STUPID FUCKING CHICKEN

**I have done thy Leon:** D:

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** Togami has like millions of dollars so he can probs afford a cat

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** also yes cats r like  the best

**Souldier:** I wouldn’t let a cat in a ten-mile radius of Togami everyone who agrees say I

**STOP:** I

**Sombruh:** I

**Otakool:** I

**ClosetFetishist:** I

**Precious Cinnapun:** No offense, Togami, but...I

**Gay4Taka:** I

**100%Orangejuice:** I

**Hatsune Miku:** I

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** OK JEEZ I GET IT U GUYS DONT TRUST TOGAMI DON’T HAVE TO RUB  IT IN  >:(

**I have done thy Leo** n: I

**Souldier:** I rest my case

**STOP:** Anyone else want to take custody of the cet?

**Lifedonuts:** *gasp* I DO

**Lifedonuts:** I’ll love it and hug it and play with it and sakura always wanted a pet and it’d be the most adorable thing and me and the cat can snuggle up together and watch movies while i pet it

**Lifedonuts:** heck i’ll even feed it donuts with me we can be like one happy family!

**STOP:**...

**STOP:** So I see that the only two good candidates to take care of the cat r probs Taka and Kyouko

**STOP:** I don’t trust Junko with a living creature

**Lifedonuts:** HEY

**Lifedonuts:** WHAT DID I SAY WRONG??

**100%Orangejuice:** I would take the cat but I live w/ Sayaka and her singing would probs make the cat go deaf

**Hatsune Miku:** HEY MY SINGING ISN’T THAT BAD ;~:

**100%Orangejuice:** It’s not that it’s bad it’s that it’s waaaay too loud

**100%Orangejuice:** The deaf guy two neighborhoods behind us even complained about it Sayaka

**Hatsune Miku:** He doesn’t appreciate good music  >:(

**100%Orangejuice:** _ Sayaka he’s deaf _

**STOP:** ok that only leaves Taka and im pretty sure Mondo hates cats so…

**Precious Cinnapun:** Hey! I would want to take care of that cat.

**STOP:** wait what r u serious isn’t like Mondo allergic to cats or some shit?

**Precious Cinnapun:** Not at all! He just dislikes them.

**STOP:** ooooooo

**STOP:** but wait aren’t u like poor?

**Precious Cinnapu** n: Even if it is true that my family have lived in poverty, I, at the moment, have more than enough money to take care of the creature.

**Precious Cinnapun:** Both me and Mondo have well-paying jobs for being high schoolers, and the school provides us with more than enough money to pay rent.

**STOP:** but what bout after u graduate Hope’s Peak?

**Precious Cinnapun:** After graduating from Hope’s Peak, it most likely wouldn’t be too much of a struggle finding another job in the branch of politics. And I’m pretty sure you know how well-paying a job in politics can be.

**STOP:** Sounds gooood

**STOP:** but wait wouldn’t mondo still disapprove of having a cet?

**Gay4Taka:** as long as Taka’s happy w/ it ill keep the stupid cat

**STOP:** o the gay

**STOP:** it’s gr8

**STOP:** Ill drive the cat over to ur place w/ some supplies

**Sombruh:** Taka im coming over to ur house to pet the shit out of ur cat

**ClosetFetishist:** Saaaaaame

Alternate titles: so i guess they’re living in apartments and r still in hope’s peak?, I dunno I make this shit up as I write so, Kittens r the best, Togami would disagree, but no rlly imagine Taka w/ a kitten how fucking adorable would that be????, Hanzo’s a cunt who enjoys spending 12 hours a day marching and playing music.

 


	21. If anyone can tell me a new username for taka id appreciate it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fact that I got this chapter out is a miracle plz be proud of me cuz my mom sure isn't

**Gay4Taka:** omfg

**Gay4Taka:** I need to know who invented weekends

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** y

**Gay4Taka:** whoever made weekends is like literally fucking god

**Gay4Taka:** im exhausted

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** but u don’t go to school and have no job

**JeanfromtheEmojiMovie:** also Chihiro can u change my name Emoji’s movie’s a dead meme now

**Sombruh:** o sure

_ JeanfromtheEmojiMovie changed their name to Togami Bottoms _

**Gay4Taka:** HEY HOW COME THEY GET MATCHING NAMES BUT ME AND TAKA DONT  >:(

**Togami Bottoms:** mondo no

**Sombruh:** im gunna work on that brb

**Naegi Tops:** I hate all of you.

**Lifedonuts:** Lol like we didn’t know that already

**Togami Bottoms:** Does that mean u hate me? D:

**Naegi Tops:** I can make an exception for Naegi and Naegi only.

**Togami Bottoms:** <3

**Naegi Tops:** Despite the fact that he’s extremely unfitting to be called my partner.

**Togami Bottoms:** <3?

**Togami Bottoms:** ey yo chi Taka’s name isn’t something super embarrassing yet how’s the hacking been going?

**Sombruh:** well his password isn’t “Mondo Oowada” or “Rules” so im out of ideas

**Togami Bottoms:** have u tried putting in “Gay4Mondo” as the password?

**Sombruh:** nope but I might as well try

_ Precious Cinnapun changed their name to Idfk what to put for Taka’s name _

**Gay4Taka:** HOLY SHIT WAIT THAT WORKED????

**Sombruh:** lol no I just typed in Morals Committee :P

**Gay4Taka:** -_-

**Idfk what to put for Taka’s name:** I would ask why my username is now...that, but I think I already know the answer to that question.

**Sombruh:** get heked

**Idfk what to put for Taka’s name:** Excuse me for going on a tangent, however, I must know why you weren’t home until 5PM for five days straight, Mondo.

**Idfk what to put for Taka’s name:** School ends at 3PM sharp, Mondo, and I highly doubt you’ve joined the Morals Committee.

**STOP:** gay

**Gay4Taka:** Damn, wanted to surprise u

**Idfk what to put for Taka’s name:** With what?

**Lifedonuts:** WERE U SHOPPING FOR WEDDING RINGS OMFG Y DIDNT U INVITE ME

**Gay4Taka:** WHERE TF WOULD I EVEN GET THE MONEY FOR AN ENGAGEMENT RING 

**100%Orangejuice:** Finding a ring with a manageable price range is pretty difficult

**100%Orangejuice:** That would explain the long absences

**Lifedonuts:**  MONDO OOWADA I FIND U GUILTY OF WANTING TO MARRY TAKA

**Gay4Taka:** guys Taka’s crying he thinks im actually proposing i just got a job ok jeez

**STOP:** but

**STOP:** did he say yes tho????

**Gay4Taka:** im not answering that

**STOP:** >:(

  
**Idfk what to put for Taka’s name:** Mondo, I’m very proud of you for finally getting a job! Now we can more easily take care of our child.

**Lifedonuts:** WAIT WAHT CHILD NO ONE TOLD ME  OK JEEEEEZ IM GOING OVER TO TAKA’S W/ DONUTS U CANT STOP ME K ALSO CONGRATS

**STOP:** this reminds me of a book I wrote once

**Gay4Taka:** Taka calls our cat our child ok jeez hina

**Gay4Taka:** I wanted to call it “pussy” but Taka said that was inappropriate

**Gay4Taka:** He thought Morals Committee was a good name for the stupid cat but eh i dont rlly care

**STOP:** omg that’s so gay and adorable i love it

**Otakool:** Its good to know that Ishimaru refers to his pets as children. Just like mistress does.

**ClosetFetishist:** The world doesn’t need to know about more than one of my secrets you fat pig

**Otakool:** ;_;

**STOP:** o actually togami literally gave me a million dollars to shut down the thing

**Sombruh:** yea same

**Togami Bottoms:** can I have some?

**Naegi Tops:** Naegi, you literally live with me.

**Naegi Tops:** We live in a mansion.

**Naegi Tops:** There are 12 swimming pools in our backyard.

**Togami Bottoms:** eh fair nuff

**Hatsune Miku:** a whole mansion for both of u

**Hatsune Miku:** and we can still  hear both of u having loud sex

**Hatsune Miku:** tOGAMI UR A BILLIONAIR GET THAT SHIT SOUND-PROOFED JEEEZ

**100%Orangejuice:** *nods*

**100%Orangejuice:** *while drinking orange juice*

**I have done thy Leon:** waitwaitwait what’s this about Togami giving away millions of dollars??

**Naegi Tops:** I’m not giving out anything.

**I have done thy Leon:** can i have a million dollars?

**Naegi Tops:** *sigh* I knew this would happen.

**Togami Bottoms:** Hiro u literally charge 10,000 dollars for 1 reading what do u even do w/ that money?

**I have done thy Leon:** hey these chickens aren’t gunna pay for themselves

**“I think im getting dick”:** wait

**“I think im getting dick”:** chickenS??

**I have done thy Leon:** um

**I have done thy Leon:** oops

**I have done thy Leon:** I bought 4

**“I think im getting dick:** who wants to go get wings w/ me?

**I have done thy Leon:**  leON NO PLZ

**Sombruh:** MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEMMEMEMEMEMEMEEMMEMEMEMKEMEME

**Sombruh:** i fUCKING LOVE chicken

**I have done thy Leon:** D’:

**Sombruh:** srry 

**Sombruh:** not rlly

 

Alternate titles: holy shit i managed to post something during band camp yall should be proud of me, chickens r gr8, Togami’s talent is literally money and i love it, oops i wrote this chapter and then didn’t post it until 8 hours later  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯,  Hanzo’s the cunt that made me do 10 push ups for an inappropriate joke  I made in camp.


	22. This is all still non-despair I swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ishimom is best mom my man
> 
> Also sorry for weird spacing on this AO3 hates me

**Sombruh:** hmmmmmmm

  
 **Sombruh:** hmmmmMMMMMMMMMMM

  
 **Sombruh:** HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

  
 **Togami Bottoms:** r u ok Chihiro?

  
 **Sombruh:** im thinking

  
 **Souldier:** can u think quieter im trying to sleep

  
 **Souldier:** also wait you think?

  
 **Sombruh:** Now’s not the time to be a sass master im trying to tHINK

 

 **Souldier:** *sigh* what r u thinking about?

  
 **Sombruh:** I can’t think of a good name 4 Taka and if I make it rlly embarrassing or sexual Mondo would kick my ass

  
 **Gay4Taka:** u got that right

  
 **STOP:** make it gay and I’ll be happy

  
 **Sombruh:** ok so i have to make it as not gay as possible got it

  
 **STOP:** ;~;

  
 **Sombruh:** god dammit Junko knows everything abt everyone and i kinda wish she was here rn so that she could supply me w/ info

  
 **Souldier:** what have u done

  
_Junko Enoshima joined Dank Memes Broken Dreams_

  
_Junko Enoshima changed their name to It’s Despair, Mukuro_

  
**It’s Despair, Mukuro:** someone call

  
 **Sombruh:** yes i did plz help

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** what do u need help with little man

  
 **Sombruh:** don’t call me that

  
 **Sombruh:** im trying to find a good username for taka but I know almost nothing about him other than rules

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** I got u covered there my dood

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** but I need u to be more specific

 

 **Sombruh:** I don’t want anything embarrassing or else Mondo will kill me

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** so u know how Taka calls his cat his child

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** make his name Ishimom, it fits with his character and it’s a pun

  
 **Sombruh:** tHATS PERFECT THNX

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** no prob bob

  
_Idfk what to put for taka’s name changed their name to Ishimom_

 

 **Ishimom:** I’m not even slightly upset at this revelation.

  
_Gay4Taka changed their name to Momdo_

 

 **Momdo:** um

 

 **Sombruh:** better

  
 **Momdo:** I swear to god Chihiro

  
 **Sombruh:** >:3

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** OMG I HAVE AN IDEA

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** WHAT IF WE ALL PLAY LIKE A GAME

  
 **Togami Bottoms:** I swear to god if it’s about stripping again I’ll murder u

  
 **STOP:** I enjoyed that game

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** no no nothing like that

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** What if we all share our deepest darkest secrets!

  
 **Naegi Tops:** That’s ridiculous. If you think we’re just going to tell you all our secrets, then you’re sorely mistaken.

  
 **Togami Bottoms:**...

  
 **Togami Bottoms:** Togami uses the XD emoticon unironically when pm’ing me

  
 **Sombruh:** wait does he really???

  
 **Naegi Tops:** Nice try, Naegi, but if you’re going to “expose” anything, at least make it believable.

  
 **Togami Bottoms:** “Hey, Naegi, what are you doing today? I want to take you out for dinner tonight XD”

  
 **Souldier:** guys we’re falling into her trap don’t do this

  
 **Souldier:** she’s writing this down I don’t have good vibes

  
 **Naegi Tops:** Naegi wet the bed until he was in 5th grade.

  
 **Souldier:** now she’s laughing maniacally stop

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** don’t ruin the fun Mukuro

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** U sound like Taka

  
 **Momdo:** Boi do you want me to split ur head open??

  
 **“I think im getting dick”:** lol u sound like such a mom

  
 **Momdo:** HEY WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

  
 **Momodo:** Well you know what at least I didn’t shove a baseball bat up my ass one time and got it stuck there

  
 **Sombruh:** UM

  
 **STOP:** I wrote a book like this once

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** this is gold plz continue

  
 **“I think im getting dick”:** HEY WELL U KNOW WHAT A GUY GETS LONELY SOMETIMES WHEN HIS STUPID BF IS OFF SELLING DRUGS

  
 **I have done thy Leon:** HEY OK LISTEN I PROMISE ITS LEGAL STUFF OK

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** what kinda drugs?

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** pm me the details

  
 **Momdo:** Hiro ur lucky that Taka is playing with the stupid cat or else hed have u in jail

  
 **I have done thy Leon:** hek

  
 **STOP:** tmw ur boyfriend gets more pussy than u

  
 **Momdo:** anyone know where my sledgehammer is?

  
 **I have done thy Leon:** QUICK GUYS LETS SPAM RANDOM SHIT IN THE CHAT SO TAKA DOESN’T BOTHER READING ALL THE MESSAGES

  
 **Souldier:** JUNKO IS A TOTAL NERD THAT PLAYS DND IN SECRET

  
I **t’s Despair, Mukuro:** U BITCH

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** MUKURO WATCHES THE TELETUBBIES WHEN SHE THINKS NO ONE IS WATCHING

  
 **100%Orangejuice:** *grabs popcorn*

  
 **Otakool:** wait u play DND 2?

  
 **Otakool:** me u and taka should all get together and play DND sometime

  
 **Momdo:** wait taka plays DND?

  
 **Souldier:** JUNKO ONCE HOOKED UP WITH A GUY JUST SO SHE CAN PET HIS DOG

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** MUKURO HAS A WIG IN HER DRAWER THAT SUSPICIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE MY HAIR

  
 **Souldier:** omg i can’t believe i fell into ur stupid trap

  
 **Souldier:** im going to sleep bi

  
 **It’s Despair Mukuro:**...

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** so mondo, have any good dirt on Taka?

  
 **Momdo:** 1\. No he doesn’t he’s a perfect angle and 2. Even if he did y tf would I tell u?

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** If you tell me I’ll give u 10 dollars

  
 **Momdo:**...

  
 **Momdo:** One time his alarm stopped working and he slept through first period in elementary school

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:**...that it?

  
 **Momdo:** yep

  
 **Sombruh:** omfg thats so precious

  
 **Momdo:** SEE I TOLD U

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** ok I can’t believe im saying this but this was a lot better when Mukuro was around

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** qUICK SOMEOEN TELL ME AN EMBARRASSING SECRET B4 I FALL INTO DESPAIR

  
 **STOP:** I thought u like despair…?

 

 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** SHUT QUICK

  
 **Hatsune Miku:** Kyoko doesn’t have any scars on her hands she just paints them on so that she has an excuse to wear cool gloves

  
 **100%Orangejuice:** *gasp*

  
 **100%Orangejuice:** Sayaka was at a performance one time but she tripped over her hair and yelled “FUCK!” in front of everyone

  
 **100%Orangejuice:** after that she punched all the reporters in the face

  
 **ClosetFetishist:**...

  
 **ClosetFetishist:** Yamada sometimes draws shit kinkier than Touko can ever dream of

 

 **Otakool:** PIFDSOUDFDFIGUDF

  
 **STOP:** I highly doubt that

  
 **STOP:** Nvm I don’t highly doubt that anymore

  
 **Cherryblossom:** Is...that even possible?

  
 **Lifedonuts:** I don’t want to even know tbh

  
 **It’s Despair, Mukuro:** k that’s all the data I need k thnx bi

  
_It’s Despair, Mukuro has left the chat_

  
**Sombruh:**...wait…

Alternate titles: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I couldn’t think of anything for Hina, I think u can figure out Celeste and the others tho, DND is p rad my doods, Ishimom is best mom, so is Momodo, I thought of Momdo all by my own bE PROUD OF ME, cuz my mom sure isn’t, I released this chapter at 11:50 so it's technically not late,  hey guys watch RaggTagg and then I think ull understand why im talking about him instead of saying Hanzo’s a cunt, hanzo’s a cunt btw.

So before I depart, I have some important shit I need to mention.

1: Band Camp is FINALLY fucking over, which is good.  
2: School starts in the 15th of August for me so fack  
3: I want to give a HUGE ASS FUCKING SHOUT OUT to SnowdropYakuza who drew this for me: http://snowflakettie.tumblr.com/post/164014529260/had-to-reupload-because-tumblr-reeeeaaally-hates

I MEAN DO U SEE HOW GOOD THIS SHIT IS? Check out their Tumblr cuz they’re super talented and cool aND THEY ACTUALLY DREW LEON IN A DRESS I LOVE IT  
Oh, and a smoller shoutout to Shagirma for giving me the Ishimom idea thanks for that my dood.


	23. RIP Junko she ded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to do the bold lettering so ur living without it hueh
> 
> I released it at 11:43 tECHNICALLY ON TIME FUCK YEAH

I have done thy Leon: what if Naegi and Ishimaru’s parents were a cake

Togami Bottoms: where did this come from?

“I think im getting dick”: he’s high again

Ishimom: Hiro is high? High on what?

“I think im getting dick”: on….not weed

“I think im getting dick”: wait is weed legal in Japan?

Togami Bottoms: uve lived here for like 18 years how do u not know?

“I think im getting dick”: Ive lived herre for 18 years?

“I think im getting dick”: wait was it 17?

Ishimom: I don’t have enough evidence to report you for drug abuse. However, I will not hesitate to inform the police if I catch you with any marijuana or other illegal substances.

I have done thy Leon: wait shit cops?

I have done thy Leon: where

I have done thy Leon: wait lon wheres the kfc im frekin hungry

Momdo: they’re either extremely high or extremely dumb

Souldier: I vote on the latter

Momdo: same

_Junko Enoshima joined Dank Memes Broken Dreams_   
_Junko Enoshima changed their name to it desper Mukro_

It desper Mukro: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM RLLY DRINK AND IM HONRY

STOP: r u just going to come in and out of the chat or r u gunna stay make up ur damn mind

STOP: also sorry to break it to u but everyone here’s gay so

It desper Mukro: EYYYYY SAAAAAAAAAME

It desper Mukro: ynow wat toko im wtachin u thro the window and u look rlly hot wana come over?

STOP: Naegg plz do something

It desper Mukro: u kno ho i hate

It desper Mukro: Trumb

Souldier: o fuck shes drunk and going to start talking about politics hide

STOP: MAKOTO

It desper Mukro: i mean y he gotta h8 mexican man

STOP: NAEGG PLZ

STOP: KICK HER

It desper Mukro: btu stil hilrty would been better prezz

Souldier: SHES GETTING DRUNKER HELP

STOP: **@Togami Bottoms** kICK HER RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I WILL SKIN U ALIVE

Souldier: omg she broke out of the house someone do something before she gets run over by a car

Souldier: Actually…

100%Orangejuice: I’ll get the tranquilizer gun

It desper Mukro: yooooo hiro u gto teh good shit/???/

I have done thy Leon: what good shit we talkin bout PM me bout it

It desper Mukro: whats a om/

Sombruh: this reminds me of a party I went to once

Momdo: ok who let Chihro go to a party w/ drugs and alcohol i need to know

Sombruh: I went there on my own my man

Momdo: I refuse to believe that

It desper Mukro: UI KNO WHAYT FUCK THE PRMIE MINSITERET

Ishimom: The...who?

Souldier: she did 15 shots of vodka mixed with Redbull in a row

Ishimom: How is she not dead?

Souldier: beats me

STOP: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Souldier: no dont

STOP: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Souldier: STOP

Sombruh: now u know

It desper Mukro: I MEN HO DOS HE THNKI HE IS I CATN BELEIBVE HEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Momdo: he what now?

100%Orangejuice: I shot her w/ the tranquiliser gun and she fell asleep on her phone

Momdo: No one ever give Junko alcohol ever again

Souldier: I agree

Souldier: tbh this is one of her tamer episodes

Ishimom: Hold on a second, how old is Junko?

Ishimom: I need to know if this constitutes as underage drinking or not.

Souldier: I dont fuckin know man

Souldier: She has like a billion fake ID’s even I don’t know her real age

Ishimom: Fake ID’s, you say?

Souldier: yep

Souldier: 25 in total

Souldier: alll ripe for the taking

Souldier: /arresting

I have done thy Leon:...What if u weaponized weend

Ishimom:...Weaponized?

I have done thy Leon: I mean like u could burn a shit ton of weed and then the enemy wont be able to fight cuz theyd be 2 high

Momodo: holy shit that’s genius

Ishimom: It depends on how much cannabis one would have to burn in order to not only cover an entire field of soldiers, but also get them high enough to not fight anymore. Smoking too much of the drug at once could cause serious memory problems/memory loss, or even death. Although you would have to smoke abnormal amounts of it at once in order to have any serious negative effects, it is still a possibly.

I have done thy Leon: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING

Ishimom: Also, there’s no way to disperse the inhalation of marijuana between sides. Meaning the side setting off marijuana has to wear gas masks in order to avoid inhaling the drugs and becoming inebriated themselves. Gas masks are usually only reserved for chemical warfare, so risking having one of them faltering or breaking while releasing a non-toxic gas is against military policy.

I have done thy Leon: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OFF THE STAGE IM FALLIN ASLEEP HERE

Momdo: DON’T BOO AT MY BB HE’S TRYING TO EDUC8 YALL

Ishimom: And finally, having to release so much gas means they have to burn a lot of weed. Planting and growing that much weed would cost too much money and resources; all for a flawed strategy that may not even work.

“I think im getting dick”: Holy shit I think im learning something

“I think im getting dick”: I don’t like that

“I think im getting dick”: stop it

Togami Bottoms: wait did someone @ me what did i miss?

STOP: EY YO CUNT WERE WHERE U WHEN WE NEEDED U TO KICK JUNKO

STOP: OI NAEGI DONT U CHICKEN OUT ON ME BOI U BETTER RESPOND

Hatsune Miku: he was frick fracking Togami

Hatsune Miku: I hear all

Alternate titles: wait this wasn’t supposed to happen how do i revert this sh it, I wrote this at 11PM when I realized i was supposed to be writing oops, *chugs down redbull* *puts on Running in the 90’s* *tired* alright lets do this shit, 30 minutes later this was born hope ya’ll appreciate it, Hanzo’s a RUNNING IN THE 90’S ITS THE WAY I LIKE TO BE cunt.


	24. My mom would cry if she saw what i write on a nearly-daily basis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a good excuse for not bolding it this time I promise...
> 
>  
> 
> wait no i don't

“I think im getting dick”: omg i don’t know what i just witnessed but i love it

I have done thy Leon: funny, that’s exactly what you said last night ;)

“I think im getting dick”: Hiro I sweAR TO GOD

Togami Bottoms: No one needs to know even more about you two’s sex life

STOP: I do

Togami Bottoms: But you’re Touko…

STOP: Can’t argue w/ that

“I think im getting dick”: Anyway yes do u know Gundam that kid who speaks to his hamsters?

Sombruh: Who doesn’t know that nutjob tbh

“I think im getting dick”: alright so I saw him running to Mondo and he was cradling his hamsters like they were dead w/ tears in his eyes

Sombruh: wait i need to know if his mascara was running

“I think im getting dick”: yes, yes it was running

Momdo: someone give that guy like 10 bucks so he could buy some water-proof mascara smh

Hatsune Miku: Not even 10 dollars 

Hatsune Miku: I bought mine 4 like 5 dollars and its surprisingly high quality

Momdo: omg PM me the brand i need to know

“I think im getting dick”: anyway so he ran to Mondo crying his eyes out and then he just screamed “HELP I THINK MY HAMSTER IS GAY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO”

STOP: wait shit

STOP: we need to invite him to the group chat

“I think im getting dick”: Gundam or the hamster?

STOP: the hamster jesus christ 

STOP: who’d want to have Gundam in a group chat?

Ishimom: It isn’t kind to talk behind our peer’s backs, Fukawa.

STOP: U weren’t complaining when we were talking bout Komaeda or Junko

Momdo: I think Toko’s long over-do for a good ol’ punch in the face

STOP: gooD LUCK WITH THAT FUCKER MY HOUSE IS HELLA DUSTY RN

Momdo: Ill get u some day toko

It desper Mukro: Anyway, Mondo, I know this fucking aMAZING brand of mascara and its v cheap too

Sombruh: wait ur just going to leave ur name like that or

It desper Mukro: yes

Momdo: I don’t trust shit that comes out of ur mouth

STOP: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Momdo: ‘sides, Sayaka already gave me the specs of a really good brand so i dont need any recommendations

Sombruh: omfg specs don’t talk abt this like i talk abt computers ok

It desper Mukro: but omg u HAVE to at least try it

Momdo: Knowing u it’s probably secretly pepper spray or some shit

Souldier: she did that to me  once

Souldier: unlucky for her my eyes now block any irritant they come across

Souldier: part of Fenrir training

Momdo: that sounds painful like fuck did they  just spray mace into ur eyes until u stopped crying?

Souldier: yes

It desper Mukro: jesus fuck that mustve been v despairful

Souldier: it gets better the more ur used to it

It desper Mukro: still tho omg

_ Togami Bottoms added Dark Deva of Destruction San-D _

Togami Bottoms: I didnt do that

Sombruh: HACKER MAN

Togami Bottoms: y dont u just hack urself admin powers?

Sombruh: not as fun

STOP: wait is this the gay hamster or Gundham

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: Neither. I am the Dark Deva of Destruction taking the form of a hamster.

STOP: Gundham i assume

Sombruh: nah man im sitting next to the hamster and its typing this shit out itself

Momdo: I refuse to believe that

Sombruh: **Just pretend this is a video of San-D typing shit out on the phone**

Momdo: well that hamster can sure do some neat shit

Ishimom: Amazing! It must’ve taken a lot of hard work and training in order to get a creature like a hamster to communicate in human language!

Ishimom: I  think I have a new-found respect for Tanaka.

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: I like this human.

Momodo: ok wOW JEEZ SO I HAD TO STAY IN A  SAUNA FOR LILKE 3 HOURS FULLY CLOTHED W/ U FOR U TO RESPECT ME BUT GUNDHAM HAS TO FUCKING TEACH A HAMSTER HOW TO THINK OK LOVE U 2 BABE

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: This one, not so much.

Ishimom: That was four years ago, Mondo...

STOP: WAIT OK SO U GUYS WERE IN A SAUNA 2 GETHER AND DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME I FEEL BETRAYED

I have done thy Leon: I feel like you guys are ignoring something much more important than steamy sauna scenes

Naegi Tops: I think that, for once in his life, Hagakure is correct.

I have done thy Leon: thhhhanks…?

STOP: HOW COULD I FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION

STOP: SAN-D IS GUNDHAM BANGING SOUDA???

Dark Deva of Destruction: I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean by “banging”.

Togami Bottoms: I swear to god touko

STOP: IS GUNDHAM FUCKING SOUDA I NEED TO KNOW

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: What is this “fucking” you speak of?

Sombruh: omfg 

Sombruh: having sex

Sombruh: fornicating

Sombruh: getting it on

Sombruh: Agressive cuddling

Sombruh: Baking the potato

Sombruh: Bam-bam in the ham

Sombruh: Boinking

Sombruh: Crashing the custurd car

Sombruh: Creaming the twinkie

Sombruh: Disappointing the wife, or  bf in this case

Togami Bottoms: OK WE GET IT 

Togami Bottoms: u looked up half those euphemisms didn’t u?

Sombruh: yes

STOP: I’m going  to use Creaming the Twinkie in my next fic

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: I wasn’t aware mortals were so open to the concept of breeding. I had thought from the shark-toothed one that sexual acts between humans were frowned upon

STOP: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION ALREADY IM FEELING STABBY

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: To answer your question, yes, Gundham is having sexual relations with Souda.

Dark Deva of Destruction San-D: Now that I have answered your question, I request to leave this...whatever you humans call it. 

Sombruh: tmw even a fucking hamster doesnt want to be ur friend

Togami Bottoms: k sure ill kick ya

_ Togami Bottoms removed Dark Deva of Destruction San-D from Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

  
Alternate titles: my excuse for posting this late is that ive been spending 40 minutes laughing at all the sexual euphemisms i saw, this is the  website i got the euphemisms from btw: [ https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014/12/400-euphemisms-for-sexual-intercourse/ ](https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014/12/400-euphemisms-for-sexual-intercourse/) , have fun go  wild, not that kind of wild, if you don’t understand what half these mean you’re too young to read this fic, Hanzo’s a cunt and i don’t feel like explaining y.


	25. Eyy I actually bolded the thing this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This may or may not take...ahem..."Inspiration" from HopeEgg's Eurovision Chatroom thing

**Sombruh:** HOLY FUCKING SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Sombruh:** I WAS JUST PLAYING MOON AND  I FOUND A FUCKING SHINY BELDUM HASUFDO;DFFDOUHSDFIOJFDSUOFDOGDUIGRUIOGIUEGWHFEWUIUIHJFDHUJ

**ClosetFetishist:** HOLY SHIT CATCH  IT GO DO IT

**Souldier:** DOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT

**Sombruh:** I CAUGHT IT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**ClosetFestishist:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Souldier:** AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**It desper Mukro:** GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN SHINY BELDUM OR I WILL SLIT UR NECK

**Togami Bottoms:** so this is y i woke up at 6 AM

**Togami Bottoms:** im going back to sleep ffs ya nerds

**Sombruh:** that sounds like something jill would say

**STOP:** SOMEONE CALLLLLL?

**Sombruh:** no one call plz go

**STOP:** i WILL GIVE U 30 ESCAVALIER FOR THAT BELDUM

**Sombruh:** y do u have 30 Escavalier?

**STOP:** stabby stabby

**ClosetFetishist:** I’ll trade u my only Rayquaza w/ Dragon Ascent

**Sombruh:** LOL U THINK IM SOME CHEEKY SCRUBLORD W/ OUT POKEBANK THINK AGAIN

**Togami Bottoms:** I got a shiny beldum the other day its not that big of a deal

**Naegi Tops:** I agree with Naegi whole-heartedly. I can’t believe you idiots will actually obsess over something so minuscule.

**Sombruh:** oK POP QUIZ TO PROVE UR  RIGHT WHAT COLOUR IS SHINY BELDUM

**Souldier:** he can just look that up ya know…

**Togami Bottoms:** o thats ez its blue

**STOP:** HAH WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT U GOT IT WRONG DUMBASS

**Togami Bottoms:** ;~;

**Naegi Tops:** I will personally come over to your room and murder you in your sleep.

**“I think im getting dick”:** oops Togami’s pulling a Mondo and being a flaming homosexual

**100%Orangejuice:** i think it was pretty obvious that Naegi kept getting so many shiny beldums that he didnt know what a normal beldum looked like

**100%Orangejuice:** y’know with him being the ultimate LUCKY student and all

**STOP:** nah he’s just a retard

**Sombruh:** u sound just as mean as Togami

**Naegi Tops:** Please do anything but associate me with...her.

**STOP:** o im sorry yeah its almost like im a serial killer or smthn

**STOP:** bITCH I DONT FUCKING CARE

**Togami Bottoms:** o man i remember when we all first met and this...this didn’t happen

**STOP:** boi u started this 

**Togami Bottoms:** doesN’T MEAN I DONT REGRET IT

**I have done thy Leon:** omg i took this buzzfeed quiz and i found out that im a potato-kin what does that mean

**I have done thy Leon:** is it a cult?

**It desper Mukro:** Don’t say the words “buzz” and “feed” anywhere near me ever again or I will shove ur head in a beehive

**I have done thy Leon:** E D G E

**Souldier:** shes going through her edgy phase again

**It desper Mukro:** fuck off, dyke

**Souldier:** love ya 2 sis

**Togami Bottoms:** oK FUCK WOW JEZZZ I SHOWED CHIHIRO MY PC BOX AND HE FAINTED FUGAFHSAGREF

**STOP:** “Showed Chihiro my pc box” -Naegg 2k19

**Sombruh:** hRE HADS 12 BOCKES OF SHINEISF OK WODOW

**ClosetFetishest:** Speak English, please

**Sombruh:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Souldier:** I don’t think that counts

**Sombruh:** tAKA QUIK TELL ME A BAD PUN I NEED TO GET SANE AGAIN

**It desper Mukro:** nO SOTP

**Ishimom:** What did Hermione say when Ron tripped her up?

**Ishimom:** “Ow, Ron, you her-mio-ne.”

**Sombruh:** that did it thnx taka

**Momdo:** he thought of that all on his own im so proud

**Sombruh:** that name was a good choice

**Souldier:** brb Junko’s having a seizure after hearing that joke taking her to the infirmary

**I have done thy Leon:** I dont get it

**Naegi Tops:** Of course you don’t.

**“I think im getting dick”:** sound it out

**I have done thy Leon:** I still don’t get it

**“I think im getting dick”:** He’s been muttering to himself for like 5 minutes and is on the verge of tears omfg ur 3 cute

**STOP:** gay

**STOP:** wait wasn’t my name Yaoi last time I checked?

**STOP:** y can’t i change my name?   
**Sombruh:** git HACKED

**STOP:** Give me back the ability to change my name or else I WILL IMPALE YOU WITH THE THICKEST SCISSORS I HAVE 

**STOP:** wait

**STOP:** “I WILL  IMPALE YOU WITH THE THICKEST…” -Genocide Jill to Fujisaki Chihro 2k12

_ STOP changed their name to Yaoi _

**Yaoi:** better

**Sombruh:** *cries*

 

Alternate titles: A lot of screaming in this one, I recommended the song Allstar for our band director to let us play what have I done, I’m sorry if you don’t know Pokemon, also well i had to rip off Hopegg’s Eurovision chatroom story someday so might as well be today *shrugs*, fun fact today I actually encountered a shiny beldum aND IT KILLED ITSELF FUCK MY LIFE


	26. I ate some jello today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pr0n incoming

**Sombruh:** I drew a thing

**Otakool:** thats a nice thing u drew

**Sombruh:** ikr

**Otakool:** cool

**Sombruh:** cool

**I have done thy Leon:** yaaaWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN

**I have done thy Leon:** booooOOOOOORING

**Sombruh:** ;_;

**Otakool:** but thats my emoji

**Yaoi:** If it makes u feel any better Jill wrote an ishimondo fic while drunk

**I have done thy Leon:** send it

**Momdo:** no

**Momdo:** plz i beg of u tell me its not smut

**Yaoi:** ooooooo

**Yaoi:** it is absolute fucking FILTH

**Momdo:** OF FUCKING COURSE

**Ishimom:** I swiftly regret every decision I’ve ever made in my life.

**Yaoi:** ok WOW JEEZ THIS IS REALLLLLY FUCKING FILTHY

**Momdo:** Y’know we coulda guessed since it was a drunk jill writing this

**Souldier:** Im going to start a kickstarter in order to raise enough money to keep both Touko and Junko as faaaaaaaaar away from as many narcotics as possible

**Naegi Tops:** Where do I donate? I have a spare billion dollars I’m willing to throw away.

**Togami Bottoms:** sometimes Togami sits on a throne of money while also burning 100 dollar bills

**Yaoi:** He must be fun at strip clubs

**Yaoi:** I would know ;3

**Togami Bottoms:** TOGAMI

**Naegi Tops:** I have never, in my life, ever gone to a  strip club, Touko. Get that idea out of your perverted, disgusting brain.

**Yaoi:** u keep telling urself that

**I have done thy Leon:** OK WHO CARES TOGAMI IS RICH WOW WE ALREADY KNOW THAT SEND THE FIC

**Yaoi:** look this is levels of filth ive never seen but ill para phrase

**Momdo:** plz no

**Momdo:** Y does it have to be

**Sombruh:** shhhh stfu let Touko type

**Yaoi:** *clears throat*

**Yaoi:** “Ishimru fell on Mond’s cokc and fuked him”

**It desper Mukro:** “cokc”

**Momdo:** ok u hyped this up and its just badly-written smut

**Ishimom:** I agree, despite how embarrassing it all is. Me and Mondo are no strangers to  badly-written, fetishistic stories written by us with Touko around.

**Yaoi:** HEY MY STUFF ISN’T BADLY-WRITTEN YALL GOT HIFUMI FOR THAT

**Otakool:** no dont drag me into this

**It desper Mukro:** *cokc*

**It desper Mukro:** COKC

**Souldier:** why r u just saying the name of ur lunch over and over?

**It desper Mukro:** >:(

**Sombruh:** ah the savagery 

**Sombruh:** I love it

_ It desper Mukro changed their name to Cokc _

**Cokc:** I dunno y but I can’t stop laughing at cokc

**Yaoi:** ok i just got halfway through the story and Naegg and Togami appeared this is baad

**Yaoi:** to quote: “Naegi shoved a 20-inch dildo up Togmi ass and Ishimdru orgsammed”

**Togami Bottoms:** where would i even find a 20-inch dildo?

**Yaoi:** ask Jill

**Yaoi:** o god im scared to look under the bed it reeks

**Cokc:** do it i dare u

**Yaoi:** plzdontbeadeadbodyplzdontbeadeadbodyplzdontbeadeadbodyplzdontbeadeadbody

**Yaoi:** ok its just some used condoms and snuffed-out cigarettes thank  god

**Souldier:** *C O N C E R N*

**Yaoi:** also

**Yaoi:** “Nagi sujked togmis penor”

**Cokc:** i cant decided between cokc and penor

**Souldier:** u had both last night

**Cokc:** MUKURO  I WILL  END U

**Yaoi:** lay off Mukuro this is my job

**Yaoi:** also also

**Yaoi:** “all 4 fo them suked pneiss and ormgasd”

 

Alternate titles: I forgot this existed for like 2 days fugg, hey can u tell ive never seen how a drunk  person types?, legit all i did was close my eyes and attempt, also im suffer,  I almost forgot hanzos a CUNT.


	27. The same thing except it's DR2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TIME THE NOTES R IMPORTANT I SWEAR
> 
> I WILL PROBABLY NOT WRITE A COMPLETELY 100% DR2 CHAPTER AFTER THIS, MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE. IM DOING THIS BECUZ I DONT REALLY KNOW THE DR2 CAST AS WELL AS I DO THE DR1 (ALSO BECAUSE I LIKE DR1 MORE THAN DR2). 
> 
> WHAT IM GETTING AT IS THAT U CAN MAKE UR OWN DR2 CHATFIC W/ ALL THE SAME NAMES AS THE ONES HERE W/ OUT CREDITING ME OR ANYTHING
> 
> K HAVE FUN

Akane Owari: Yuri

Byakuya Twogami: Fat

Chiaki Nanami: HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: Baby Gangsta

Gundam Tanaka: TheUltimateFurry

Hinate Hajime: Aho-gay

Hiyoko Saionji: TheUltimateCunt

Ibuki Mioda: Punkrockisn’tdead

Kazuichi Souda: ScreamingMountaindew

Nekomaru Nidai: Thebestcouch

Mahiru Koizumi: Tumblr

Mikan Tsumiki: Potentialyandere

Nagito Komaeda: Hope_Slut

Peko Pekoyama: “Young Master”

Sonia Nevermind: Precious_Angle

Teruteru Hanamura: TheUltimatePervert

 

_ Yuri added 15 others to Unnamed Groupchat _

_ Yuri changed the name of Unnamed Groupchat to DANKMEMES _

 

**Yuri:** welcome and yes i am the one that chose all your names

**Fat:**...

**TheUltimateCunt:** Why isn’t Mikan’s name TheUltimateFatWhore?

**PotentialYandere:** I-I’m sorry...I c-can try t-to change i-it to t-that...

**Yuri:** cuz thats mean

**Yuri:** also i think we can all agree that Hiyoko’s name is accurate

**Aho-gay:** yes

**Tumblr:** she’s not that mean :(

**Yuri:** also Mikan this is text u dont have to stutter

**PotentialYandere:** S-sorry...I must b-be so useless…

**Yuri:** shit

**Yuri:** nekomaru quick do something

**Thebestcouch:** DID SOMEONE CALL

**“Young Master”:** I can hear him screaming through the  phone.

**“Young Master”:** Also y tho

**Thebestcouch:** MIKAN YOU R AN AMAZING PERSON AND U SHOULD HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE IN URSELF

**Thebestcouch:** I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO INSPIRE U AND MAKE SURE U GET THE SELF-ESTEEM U DESERVE

**Yuri:** u go nekomaru

**PotentialYandere:** That...that was so sweet, Nekomaru.

**Thebestcouch:** NO PROBLEM

**Thebestcouch:** IF ANY  OF U R FEELING SAD OR UNMOTIVATED @ ME FOR A PICK-ME-UP

**Baby Gangsta:** I hate you Akane

**Yuri:** EYYYYY

**Baby Gangsta:** Peko help how do i change my name

**“Young Master”:** idfk

**Yuri:** U CANT

**Yuri:** I HIT UP CHIHIRO AND SHE HACKED INTO ALL UR ACCOUNTS AND MADE IT SO THAT U CANT CHANGE NAMES

**ScreamingMountaindew:** That’s not how hacking works…

**Aho-gay:** I think we can all agree that Souda’s name is 10000000% accurate

**ScreamingMountaindew:** ;__;

**TheUltimateCunt:** His name should’ve been  “dissapointment” cuz thats what he is

**Tumblr:** Hiyoko we talked abt this don’t  be a dick

**TheUltimateCunt:** ok fine

**TheUltimateCunt:** only for u Mahiru  <3

**TheUltimateFurry:** Young fool! You have upset my shark-toothed love! You will suffer the wrath of a thousand demons clawing for your soul!

  
**Baby Gangsta** : o boy this is happening

**TheUltimateCunt:** whatever weirdo

**Baby Gangsta:** I have a feeling that im going to be the only straight one here

**Precious_Angle:** Is this what you call “Fucking Gay”?

  
**Yuri:** :O

**Aho-gay:** HOLY SHIT DID SONIA JUST SWEAR?????

**Yuri:** who taught u that bby?

**Precious_Angle:** Teruteru...why do you ask?

**TheUltimatePervert:** eheh...hehehe...p-plz dont hurt me

**Yuri:** *screams*

**Yuri:** ILL FUKING KILL U TERU

**TheUltimatePervert:** *nervous laughter*

**Precious_Angle:** PLEASE, DO NOT HURT ANYONE FOR MY SAKE. IT IS MY FAULT THAT I LISTENED TO HIM!

  
**Yuri:** Only for u bby

**Fat:** Did...did you only make this chat to rival Naegi’s chat?

**Yuri:** pfft...no

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** IBUKI SMELLS A LIAR

**Fat:** *sigh* u literally only made this chat just so u can get a better chatroom than Naegi’s

**Yuri:** listen we had a competition on who can make the gayest chat

**Tumblr:** I dont know whether to be offended or not

**Baby Gangsta:** That’s so stupid! Espicially since we have at least 5 straight ppl and class 78’s only straight person is that otaku guy

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** OOOH OOOH HIFUMI WAS HIS NAME

**Aho-gay:** u dont have to type in all caps y know

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I GOT MY CAPSLOCK BUTTON STUCK AND NOW I CAN’T DO LOWERCASE

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I ALSO HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION ;3

**PotentialYandere** : same

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** i just woke up what happened

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** o

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** o no

**Hope_Slut:** Nice to see my name goes unchanged

**Yuri:** it was so fitting i couldnt change it

**Hope_Slut:** At least a useless piece of trash like me is good at something

**Aho-gay:** Nagito don’t call urself that ;_;

**Aho-gay:** U know I hate it when u call urself trash. Ur not trash  <3

**TheUltimateCunt** : GAY

**Tumblr:** GAY

**Baby Gangsta:** Mahiru i swear to god if u turn into another saionji i will murder her

**“Young Master”:** He’s a yakuza he can do that fyi

**Tumblr:** omg yall r hating on Hiyoko she’s not that bad she’s really sweet

**Aho-gay:** GAY

**TheUltimateCunt:** she’s right! Besides, Mahiru is too cute to ever be mean to anyone

**Tumblr:** <3

**TheUltimateCunt:** <3

**Precious_Angle:** GAY

**Yuri:** god i love this woman

**Baby Gangsta:** as the only hetero male in this chat this makes me uncomfortable

**TheUltimatePervert:** I think ur forgetting about me

**Baby Gangsta** : who’re u?

**TheUltimatePervert:** ;~;

**Tumblr:** HOW DARE U BE UNCOMFORTABLE AT GAY PPL U CIS WHITE MALE HOMOPHOBE  >:((((( 

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** WORST PART IS I DON’T KNOW IF UR MAKING A JOKE OR  R BEING SERIOUS

**Tumblr:** joke

**Baby Gangsta:** but im not white..im Japanese

**PotentialYandere:** Oh really? By your skin tone, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were white.

**TheUltimateCunt:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**TheUltimateCunt:** HOLY SHIT

**TheUltimateCunt:** DID MIKAN JUST

**"Young Master":** she did

**TheUltimateCunt:** HOLY UIOONGDOUEWRIHDRDSFJFH

**Fat:** Let’s see here

**Fat:** This chat has Dank Memes in the title like class 78’s

**Fat:** This chat is exceedingly gay, just like class 78’s

**Fat:** This chat has Yuri while 78’s has yaoi

**Fat:** This chat has voice of reason that calls out everyone’s BS (just like 78’s)

**Fat:** This chat is probably going to have the signature roaster (mikan) while 78 has Mukuro

**Yuri:** look i never said I was creative

**Yuri:** but do u know what we have that 78 doesn’t?

**Fat:** what?

**Yuri:** Princess Sonia

_ Fat has left DANK MEMES _

**Yuri:** wait shit how do i add  ppl back

**Baby Gangsta:** fuck yeah i can leave

_ Baby Gangsta left DANK MEMES _

**“Young Master”:** c ya  losers

_ “Young Master” left DANK MEMES _

**Yuri:** K U KNOW WHAT I DONT CARE THAT U 3 LEFT

**Yuri:** WE NEEDED LESS HETEROS ANYWAY   >:(

**TheUltimateCunt:** this sucks ass

_ TheUltimateCunt left DANK MEMES _

_ Tumblr left DANK MEMES _

**Yuri:** plz everyone else here stay im desperate

**Aho-gay:** eeeeeeehhhhhhh

_ Aho-gay left DANK MEMES _

**Hope_Slut:** well with Hajime gone, I have no use here

_ Hope_Slut left DANK MEMES _

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** IBUKI SEES A TREND

_ Punkrockisn’tdead left DANK MEMES _

**PotentialYandere:** this chat is weaker than my self-esteem smh

_ PotentialYandere left DANK MEMES _

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** well u know what i have too much Overwatch to play to be in this chat

**Yuri:** REEEEEEEEEEEEE

_ HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat? Left DANK MEMES _

**TheUltimateFurry:** San-D has been in 78’s chatroom. My Dark Deva knows enough about human culture to let me know never to be a part of anything like this.

_ TheUltimateFurry left DANKMEMES _

_ ScreamingMountaindew left DANKMEMES _

**Yuri:** ud never leave me right Sonia and Maru?

**Precous_Angle:** I would never leave you, Akane! I care too much about you.

**Thebestcouch:** OF COURSE NOT! AS YOUR FRIEND AND PERSONAL INSTRUCTOR I WOULD NEVER LEAVE YOUR SIDE!

**TheUltimatePervert** **:** I’ll just leave u three love birds to do ur own thing..

_ TheUltimatePervert left DANKMEMES _

**Yuri:** TT~TT

 

Alternate Titles: ok this happened wow jeez, also i actually updated before 10PM how crazy’s that?, I want Mikan to be a sassy child, I want Hina to be a sassy child too which is why she is, Hanzo’s a FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT CUNT, btw if ur new here i say hanzo’s a cunt a lot, o Hiyoko's a cunt too.


	28. I know no one asked but I'm going to be Edward Elric for Halloween cuz that's what I wanted to be last year but the costume arrived on November 1st so

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween hype is incoming NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM HALLOWEENING NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Sombruh:** So what’re u guys going to do for halloween? Im going to be sombra

 **Sombruh:** either that or a box of cheerios

 **Togami Bottoms:** It’s not even september yet

 **Ishimom:** I’m very proud of you, Fujisaki, for planning so ahead of time. Personally, I don’t celebrate Halloween, but I’m glad that you can find joy in something I cannot.

 **Lifedonuts:** :O omg taka and mondo should go in one of those rlly cute couples costumes!

 **Momdo:** nope

 **Momdo:** nu-uh

 **Momdo:** nada

 **Momdo:** not doing that shit

 **Lifedonuts:** BUT IMAGINE HOW FUCKING CUTE IT WOULD BE THO

 **Yaoi:** tmw someone ships Ishimondo more than me

 **Lifedonuts:** MAYBE U TWO CAN BE LIKE PB AND J

 **Momdo:** DEFINITELY NO

 **Momdo:** STOP

 **Lifedonuts:** ok wait me and Sakura have to be the PB and J

 **Cherryblossom:** yes that would be amazing

 **Sombruh:** HOLY SHIT DID SAKURA ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING IN THIS CHAT???

 **Cherryblossom:** I’ve been too busy training to engage in this chat

 **Sombruh:** OK FROM NOW ON U _WILL_ PARTICIPATE IN THIS CHAT GOT IT

 **Cherryblossom:** Why not

 **Sombruh:** ok now ur username needs a makeover

 **Cherryblossom:** I’d rather you not

 **Lifedonuts:** WAIT MONDO MAYBE U AND ISHI CAN BE BRIDE AND GROOM

 **Momdo:** HINA I WILL BLOCK U

 **Lifedonuts:** BUT WHO’D WEAR THE DRESS THO???

 **Momdo:** NEITHER CUZ IM NOT DOING THAT SHIT

 **Lifedonuts:** WAIT UR RIGHT BOTH OF U WOULD WEAR TUXES

 **Togami Bottoms:** Hina i think u need to calm down just a bit

_Cherryblossom changed their name to RagingLesbo_

**RagingLesbo:** sure

 **RagingLesbo:** y not

 **Sombruh:** this is the most fun ive ever had like ever

 **Lifedonuts:** SAKURA ME AND U R GOING AS PB AND J FOR HALLOWEEN RIGHT?

 **RagingLesbo:** Of course, why wouldn’t we?

 **Lifedonuts:** AW YISS  >:D

_Lifedonuts changed their name to TheUltimateLesbo_

**TheUltimateLesbo:** I aint even mad this is gr8

 **Sombruh:** it seemed a lot more fitting

 **Yaoi:** Im going to be Velma from Scooby Doo

 **Sombruh:** no one asked

 **Yaoi:** r00d

 **Togami Bottoms:** togami what should we do 4 Halloween?

 **Naegi Tops:** I think you know how I’m going to answer this, Naegi.

 **Togami Bottoms:** oh ur no fun : <

 **Yaoi:** *gasp* TOGAMI SHOULD BE BATMAN AND NAEGG WILL BE ROBIN

 **Togami Bottoms:** HOLY FUCKINGN SHIT THATS PERFECT

 **Yaoi:** Batman x Robin was my first ever ship…

 **Yaoi:** wait how old is Robin shit

 **100%Orangejuice:** last year i was sherlock and since the old outfit fits me well so

 **Hatsune Miku:** Kyoko uve been sherlock for the entirety of high school plz be something else

 **100%Orangejuice:** ur one to talk mrs. I’vebeenhatsunemikuforthepast10yearsofmylife

 **Hatsune Miku:** we’ll BOTH be something different!

 **Yaoi:** I THINK U 2 SHOULD B LIKE...SHIT WHAT SHOULD THEY BE?

 **100%Orangejuice:** I dont want to do couples costumes becuz everyone’s doing that

 **Hatsune Miku:** I want to be a bird

 **100%Orangejuice:** y a bird

 **Hatsune Miku:** cuz birds r cool

 **I have done thy Leon:** IM GOING TO BE A BIRD TOOOO

 **I have done thy leon:** more specifically a chicken

 **“I think im getting dick”:** I dont even want to know

 **Yaoi:** in that case Leon should be the eg

 **“I think im getting dick”:** first of all, no, and second i fuking hate eggs and 3rd y tho?

 **Yaoi:** So we’ll know who came first, the chicken or the egg ;)

 **“I think im getting dick”:** naegi plz do something

 **I have done thy Leon:** the egg comes first

 **I have done thy Leon:** allllll the time

 **“I  think im getting dick”:** SHE KNOWS ENOUGH ABOUT OUR SEX LIFE THANK U VERY MUCH

 **Yaoi:** YESSSS ALL MY SMUT WAS ACCURATE :D

 **“I think im getting dick”:** y thoooo

_“I think im getting dick” changed their name to TheEggCameFirst_

**TheEggCameFirst:** brb going to commit Sudoko

 **TheUltimateLesbo:** WAIT WHAT IF MONDO WAS A WEREWOLF AND TAKA WAS A VAMPIRE THATD BE PERRRRRFECT

 **Momdo:** goddammit this again

 **RaginLesbo:** Mondo was a werewolf last year and he tried to make Taka a vampire but Taka refused did u forget?

 **TheUltimateLesbo:** fakc

 **TheUltimateLesbo:** what bout

 **Momdo:** Hina no stop

 **TheUltimateLesbo:** : <

 **Cokc:** Mukuro i know what we’ll be 4 halloween

 **Souldier:** plz no

 **Souldier:** god in heaven

 **Cokc:** ZACK AND CODY HOW GR8 WOULD THAT BE

 **Souldier:** id rather die

 **Cokc:** if u dont do this ill make sure everyone knows what u do with ur collection  of guns at 12AM

 **Cokc:** hint hint it isn’t shooting ppl

 **Souldier:** fine just stfu

 **Cokc:** yissssss

 **Yaoi:** I wrote a book like this once

 **Hatsune Miku:** WIAT KYOKO U SHOULD BE GRAPES

 **100%Orangejuice:**...y grapes?

 **Hatsune Miku:** ok so i can be a bluebird and u can be grapes so itll sortof be like a couples costume thing but if we ever get separated u can just say “o i like grapes so”

 **100%Orangejuice:** eh y not

 **100%Orangejuice:** whatre u going to be celeste?

 **ClosetFetishist:** I don’t rlly know, all i know is that it has to do something with the moon

 **Cokc:** what bout a witch?

 **ClosetFetishist:** y

 **Cokc:** cuz aren’t witches like magical and mystical and associated w/ the moon and ssstuff?

 **Cokc:** also so u can be burned at the stake *cough cough*

 **ClosetFetishist:** well as long as im not half naked like Hifumi’s ill be fine

 **Ishimom:** You mean…

 **Ishimom:** Burned at the *steak*

 **Cokc:** i will split ur head open with a hammer

 **TheUltimateLesbo:** Wait what is this abt Hifumi being half naked?

 **TheUltimateLesbo:** I need to know how much eye-bleach I need to bring

 **Otakool:** Im going to Princess Piggles for Halloween! It’s the perfect costume

 **Momdo:** plz no

 **Momdo:** just put on normal clothes like a normal person

 **Otakool:** ;_;

 **Cokc:** I know this is off topic but Mukuro was originally gonna be Duke Nukem

 **Souldier:** and Junko was going to be a Bratz doll so

 **Cokc:** but isn’t Zack and Cody so much better tho?

 **Souldier:** Im only doing this cuz ur blackmailing me

 **Cokc:** still counts  >:3

 **TheUltimateLesbian:** OMG I GOT IT

 **TheUltimateLesbian:** THE PERFECT COSTUME FOR TAKA AND MONDO

 **Momdo:** *screams*

 **TheUltimateLesbian:** MONDO WILL BE BUTTER AND TAKA WOULD BE TOAST OMFG IMAGINE

 **Sombruh:** **YES**

 **ClosetFetishist:** YES

 **Souldier:** YES

 **100%Orangejuice:** YES

 **TheEggCameFirst:** YES

 **Yaoi:** YES

 **Momdo:** NO STOP

 **Momdo:** HINA I WILL LEGIT BLOCK U IM NOT GOING TO BE A FUCKING STICK OF BUTTER FOR HALLOWEEN

 **Cokc:** WELL TOO LATE I ALREADY BOUGHT THE BUTTER AND BREAD COSTUMES

 **Momdo:** IM GETTING MY GODDAMN SLEDGEHAMMER THERES NO STOPPING ME NOW

 **Ishimom:** Mondo please don’t hurt anyone.

 **Cokc:** WOOOOORTH

 

Alternate Titles: LOOK I KNOW IT’S AUGUST BUT HALLOWEEN HYPE IS INCOMING AND THERE’S NO STOPPING ME NOW, wow I should stop changing each character’s name so much even im getting lost, I want Mukuro and Junko  to be Zack and Cody nOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW O WOW, I want to know everyone’s Halloween costumes so I can ~~steal some ideas~~ get to know u guys better, Hanzo’s going to be a cunt for halloween (so himself).


	29. Poor Togami  he just wanted to talk abt the new Mercy changes but

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Ishimom:** Mondo, where have you been for the past two hours? I’ve been looking all over for you!

**Momdo:** U can pm me u know…

**TheUltimateLesbo:** he knows I ship it

**Yaoi:** Everyone does

**Ishimom:** That does not answer my question, Mondo.

**Momodo:** o sorry I was workin out w/ Chihiro

**Sombruh:** yeah we were at the gym and I finally benched 30 pounds :D

**RagingLesbo:** They grow up so fast :’)

**Yaoi:** O so u were “working out”   
**Yaoi:** Suuuuure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Momdo:** Touko have i ever told you that i want to murder you?

**Yaoi:** Yes

_ Sombruh kicked Yaoi from Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Togami Bottoms:** o so u finally got those admin powers

**Ishimom:** You know, Fujisaki, avoiding your problems is no way of solving them.

**Souldier:** Tranquilizing her would’ve been a better option

**Ishimom:** Well, that’s one way of dealing with it.

**Sombruh:** Mukuro was it toko or jill who typed that?

**Souldier:** rn it’s Jill

**100%Orangejuice:** getting the tranq gun brb

**Souldier:** nah i have an assault rifle that works better

**Souldier:** trust me I know

**100%Orangejuice:** Mukuro no not today

**Souldier:** :(

**Cokc:** I THINK WE SHOULD TOTALLY FUCKING KILL THAT BITCH

**Momdo:** jeez and i thought i had a vendetta

**Cokc:** FUCK OFF M8 JUST SHOOT HER ALREADY

**Souldier:** gladly

**Ishimom:** YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!

**Souldier:** O YEAH WHAT R U GOING TO DO ABOUT IT GIVE ME DETENTION?

**Momdo:** OI SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I BEAT YOU BLACK AND BLUE

**Souldier:** COME AT ME BRO I HAVE A WHOLE RACK OF KNIVES READY TO BE USED

**Ishimom:** BOTH OF YOU, STOP ARGUING RIGHT THIS MOMENT. DEATH THREATS ARE NO WAY TO RESOLVE AN ISSUE!

**Togami Bottoms:** I could just hear all 3 of u screaming from the phone

**Togami Bottoms:** it’s glorious 

**Momdo:** Ok taka’s got a point screaming at our phones aint gonna resolve shit

**Souldier:** IM MUKURO AND I LIKE DICK

**Togami Bottoms:** well since toko’s not here

**Togami Bottoms:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Souldier:** ALSO I ACT TOUGHT BUT IM SERECLTY A FUGNJIKLN PUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSGIUWEHDUDJISJSDNFDUJUDBDJBDJ

**Momdo:** um?

**Sombruh:** ok while i was beating up jill i saw mukuro and junko standing outside fighting over the phone and threatening to stab each other

**Momdo:** ok wow jeez u can barely lift 30 pounds but now u can suddenly beat up jill

**RagingLesbo:** Ok I knew I said they grow up fast but jesus christ that was fast

**Sombruh:** o now Mukuro’s threatning to pull out Junko’s extensions this is getting juicy

**Ishimom:** Fujisaki, don’t you think you should break up the fight happening instead of sitting back and watching such barbaric acts of violence?

**Sombruh:** Nah m8 Leon showed up w/ some garlic bread this is getting guuud

**TheEggCameFirst:** wait r we sitting on jill’s unconscious body?

**Sombruh:** yes

**TheEggCameFirst:** sweeeet

**Sombruh:** HOLY SHIT

**Sombruh:** DID YOU SEE THAT?

**Sombruh:** DID SHE JUST

**TheUltimateLesbo:** HOLY SHIT MUKURO JUST DECKED JUNKO IN THE FAAAACE

**I have done thy Leon:** OK IM COMING THIS IS 2 GUD IM JOINING IN ON THIS SHIT

**TheUltimateLesbo:** MONDO YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS

**Momdo:** id rather spend time w/ taka than see 2 bitches fighting each other

**TheUltimateLesbo:** If toko were here she’d def appreciate that

**TheEggCameFirst:** AW YIS SAYAKA COMIN IN WITH THE SHEPHERD PIE

**100%Orangejuice:** I was going to eat that ;_;

**Hatsune Miku:** Sorry babe but this was 2 gud not to bring shephard pie to

**TheEggCameFirst:** Mondo bro ur missing out on so much

**TheEggCameFirst:** Junko just tackled Mukuro and started fucking her makeup up

**Togami Bottoms:** “Junko just tackled Mukuro and started fucking her…” -Leon 6969

**Hatsune Miku:** naegg no

**Togami Bottoms:** look someone has to make the pervy jokes when Touko’s gone ok?

**TheUltimateLesbo:** also excuse u Leon don’t u fucking DARE try to separate the ishimondos I will end u

**Momdo:** no thnx i can end leon on my own

**I have done thy Leon:** I’ve done it before ;)

**Hatsune Miku:** ok holy shit Kyoko come RIGHT NOW Leon threw his phone at Hagakure and they started fighting

**100%Orangejuice:** ok I can’t miss this im bringing the popcorn

**Sombruh:** omfg this is 2 gud

**Sombruh:** so rn Mukuro literally almost stabbed junko i feel like i should stop this

**Togami Bottoms:** naaaaaaaaah

**100%Orangejuice:** ok i came here expecting 2 very petty cat fights but all i see is mukuro and junko legit trying to murder each other and hagakure and leon aggressively making out ive been duped

**Hatsune Miku:** u arrived 2 late

**Hatsune Miku:** ill still take the popcorn tho

**TheUltimateLesbo:** alright MUKURO HAS A FUCKING GUN OUT IM BREAKING UP THIS FIGHT BEFORE SOMEONE ACTUALLY DIES

**Ishimom:** It seems as if I was correct. Violence was no way of resolving problems.

**Sombruh:** fine sure whatever

**Sombruh:** still really frekin entertaining tho

**TheUltimateLesbo:** can’t argue w/ that

**Naegi Tops:**...

**Naegi Tops:** So, did anyone see the new Mercy changes?

 

Alternate Titles: y does marching band exist?, Blame school for irregular updates, ~~also me being a hardcore procrastinator~~ , again I have no idea how Mukuro acts in-universe so ull just have to deal w/ this, NO ONE TOLD LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAY *BAM BAM BAM BAM*, I was tempted to literally kill off a character but both Junko and Mukuro were so fun to write, Hanzo’s a cunt (or is he? DUN DUN DUN DUN).


	30. THERE’S THIS ONE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ON MY STEAM FRIEND’S LIST THAT HAS A PICTURE OF SPONGEBOB SUCKING OFF PATRICK AS THEIR PFP AND WHENEVER THEY PLAY ANYTHING THE FUCKING THING IS IN THE CORNER AND ITS SO ANNOYING SAKLSDOJISDJSDJ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LOUD AND CLEARLY 524

**TheUltimateLesbo:** Tiddy

**Sombruh:** Tiddy?

**TheUltimateLesbo:** Tiddy

**Sombruh:** Tiddy.

**Hatsune Miku:** Did someone say tiddy?

**TheUltimateLesbo:** Tiddy

_ TheUltimateLesbo changed their name to Tiddy _

**Tiddy:** Tiddy

**Hatsune Miku:** Tiddy

**ClosetFetishist:** Tiddy

**TheUltimatePervert:** Tiddy ;)

**Sombruh:** Who are you and who invited you?

**TheUltimatePervert:** Tiddy…?

**Sombruh:** Teruteru issat u?

**TheUltimatePervert:** T-Tiddy…

**Tiddy:** Yep, that’s TeruTeru

_ Sombruh kicked TheUltimatePervert from Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Tiddy:** Now where was I?

**Tiddy:** O yeah Tiddy

_ TheUltimatePervert joined Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Sombruh:** How?

**Sombruh:** **@Togami Bottoms** y do u keep inviting TeruTeru?

**Togami Bottoms:** I don’t…

**TheUltimatePervert:** Send bobs and vagena pic plz

**TheUltimatePervert:** Open bob

**Hatsune Miku:** I feel attacked

**100%Orangejuice:** *grabs tranq gun*

**TheUltimatePervert:** wait no shit that was a joke stop

**Hatsune Miku:** thanks bby

_ Sombruh kicked TheUltimatePervert from Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Tiddy:** That’ll teach him to mess with us  >:(

**RagingLesbo:** You go Hina  <3

**Tiddy:** <3

**100%Orangejuice:** let’s see here what should i do with the tranq’d body?

**100%Orangejuice:** River or volcano which one should i throw him in?

**Hatsune Miku:** Volcano

**Cokc:** Volcano

**Ishimom:** River

**Ishimom:** Throwing TeruTeru into a volcano would be…

**Ishimom:** Teru-frying ;D

**Momdo:** omg no i can’t love u anymore than i already do

**Cokc:** STOPPPOPOPOOOOOOPPPOPPPPP

**Cokc:** JUST THROW HIM IN THE GODDAMN VOLCANO ALREADY

**100%Orangejuice:** done

**Souldier:** Damn and i thought i was savage

**Souldier:** Yall fucking killed a guy in the most brutal way possible for a stupid joke

**Hatsune Miku:** Dood that was a joke

**Hatsune Miku:** It’s not like Kyoko actually threw him in a volcano

**Hatsune Miku:** Riiight?

**100%Orangejuice:** *nervous laughter*

_ TheUltimatePervert joined Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**TheUltimatePervert:** I’m in hell rn and this fucking sucks

**TheUltimatePervert:** This is what I get for stealing all those panties ;(

**100%Orangejuice:** OMFG JUST GO AWAY ALREADY NO ONE LIKES U

**TheUltimatePervert** : wow r00d

**TheUltimatePervert:** I just want vagena and open bob pics

**Hatsune Miku:** **Openbob.pic**

**100%Orangejuice:** ok thats hot but

**TheUltimatePervert:** holy shit that actually worked 

**TheUltimatePervert:** K im sated c ya losers

_ TheUltimatePervert left Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Ishimom:** As a homosexual male this picture makes uncomfortable

**Momdo:** same

**Hatsune Miku:** psssst here’s a secret

**Hatsune Miku:** Those are my knees with red marker on them ;3

**Togami Bottoms:** Still deleting it

**Tiddy:** Wait ur comfortable with some guy u barely know masturbating to ur knees?

**100%Orangejuice:** I...totally knew those were ur knees

**100%Orangejuice:** I get laid…I know what her boobs look like...*nervous sweating*

**Tiddy:** *GASP* HAVE U NEVER HELD A TIDDY???

**Tiddy:** U have not experienced true happiness till uve held a tiddy

**Momdo:** That’s like saying uve never been a true man till uve held a cock

**Souldier:** No wonder u keep acting all manly and macho...

**Cokc:** U mean

**Cokc:** a cokc

**Cokc:** Or penor

**Momdo:** What she said

**Tiddy:** _ Soft ever-expanding tiddies _

**RagingLesbo:** R u ok Hina?

**Tiddy:** Nope :D

**Cokc:** This reminds me, should we add toko back?

**Cokc:** I mean with all the shit that’s happening I feel like she’d enjoy it

**Sombruh:** eeeeeeeh

**Sombruh:** fiiiine

_ Sombruh added Yaoi to Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Yaoi:** OK FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE U FUCKING DELETE FROM THIS CHATROOM I KNEW IT ALL OF U HATED ME U ALL THINK IM A DISGUSTING PIG HONESTLY WHY DID I THINK ALL OF YOU WERE ANY DIFFERENT

_ Sombruh removed Yaoi from Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Hatsune Miku:** Hey now that’s just mean

**Sombruh:** fiiine

_ Sombruh added Yaoi to Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Yaoi:** >:’(

**Tiddy:** it’s ok Toko we appreciate u sometimes

**Yaoi:** Ok I was legit mad but ur username made me laugh

**Yaoi:** Im better now 

**Tiddy:** That’s nice

**Tiddy:** Anyways tiddy

**Hatsune Miku:** Tiddy

**Cokc:** BOOOORING

**Cokc:** HOW BOUT WE SPICE THINGS UP

**Hatsune Miku:** No plz

**Souldier:** Im leaving bi nerds

**Cokc:** HOW ABOUT WE ALL STRIP AND THEN POST NUDES?

**Sombruh:** NO

**Yaoi:** actually…

**Cokc:** IF EVERYONE HERE’S GAY THEN THERE  SHOULD BE NO REASON TO BE AFRAID

**Otakool:** Um

**Otakool:** I think u guys r forgetting someone…

**ClosetFetishist:** Sorry, who are you?

**Otakool:** y r u so mean to me? ;~;

**Cokc:** SEE ISN’T THIS SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN SAYING TIDDY OVER AND OVER?

**Sombruh:** No

_ Sombruh removed Cokc from Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Tiddy:** Tiddy

 

**Alternate titles:** _ Soft ever-expanding tiddies,  _ I didn’t come up with teru-frying myself yall should know i have not a witty bone in my body, Tiddy feat. Teruteru Hanamura, Black Cherry sparkling water tastes diSGOUSTANG, you and me rendezvous? Rendezvous? Rendezvous?, if anyone gets that reference nice job pat urself on the back, Hanzo’s a *loud trumpet blaring* CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT.


	31. I'm sorry (no I'm not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title explains it pretty well

**Souldier:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals,and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.  
  
I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.  
  
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.  
  
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.  
  
But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.  
  
You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 **Togami Bottoms:** Not this shit again

 

Alternate titles: I got lazy coulda ya tell, nah ill have an actual chapter out tomorrow promise, Hanzo's a cUnTtTtTtTTTtt.


	32. *SCREAMS* HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIYOTAKA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa?AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaAaAAaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> (I don't know how to emotion so)

_ Sombruh added Cokc to Dank Memes Broken Dreams _

**Souldier:** Ok so u removed Toko from this chat and didn’t add her back instantly

**Sombruh:** Listen she gave me 500 dollars to add her back so

**Souldier:** DIDN’T TOGAMI LITERALLY GIVE YOU A MILLION DOLLARS LIKE A WEEK AGO?

**Sombruh** : Well…

**Cokc:** IM BACK BITCHESSS

**Cokc:** Also chihiro literally gave all the money to a stupid animal shelter

**Sombruh:** IT’S NOT STUPID THOSE KITTIES DESERVED A HOME 

**Hatsune Miku:** AW CHIHIRO THAT’S SO SWEET

**Momdo:** That legit sounds like some shit taka would do

**Momdo:** I love it

**Momdo:**  Speaking of Taka...any of you remember anything?

**Togami Bottoms:** Here’s a secret

**Togami Bottoms:** Togami once donated a bazillion dollars to fund an orphanage

**Naegi Tops:** Naegi, I’m sorry to break this to you, but there’s no such thing as a bazillion dollars.

**Togami Bottoms:** Togami once donated a shit ton of money to fund an orphanage

**Sombruh:** AW WTF TOGAMI THAT’S SO FREKIN CUTE

**Naegi Tops:** I’m not cute.

**Togami Bottoms:** He’s so fucking cute  <3

**Togami Bottoms:** I TOLD U GUYS HE WAS A CINNAMON BUN AT HEART

**ClosetFetishist:** Nope. Still a dick

**Togami Bottoms:** Says the person who tried to bet away Hifumi for a snicker’s bar

**Otakool:** Yeah what was that about?  >:(

**ClosetFetishist:** Look I was hungry ok

**Momdo:** Ahem ahem

**Momdo:** Ahem ahem ahem

**Togami Bottoms:** Boi a snickers bar is like 99 cents 

**Momdo:** *LOUD SORTA CONCERNING COUGHS*

**ClosetFetishist:** wtf do u want

**Momdo:** I think u guys r forgetting something reeeeally important

**Sombruh:** I thought national dog day was last Saturday?

**Momdo:** nope

**Tiddy:** OMFG

**Tiddy:** HOW DID U KNOW?

**Momdo:** um

**Tiddy:** FINE JESUS FUCK I’LL CONFESS

**Tiddy:** SAKURA IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO PUT PROTEIN POWDER IN THE DONUTS YESTERDAY PLZ 5GIVE ;____;

**RagingLesbo:** Hina, you had me worried for a second. I thought u like murdered someone or something

**Hatsune Miku:** *gasp* DID A NEW VOCALOID BY WONDERFUL*OPPORTUNITY COME OUT?

**Momdo:** wtf is a vocaloid?

**Hatsune Miku:** >:(   
**100%Orangejuice:** Is it national hate Junko day?

**Cokc:** Is it national fuck Kirigiri day?

**Hatsune Miku:** U don’t need a day for that ;3

**Momdo:** NO ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG

**Momdo:** IT’S KIYOTAKA’S BIRTHDAY

**Momdo:** FUCKING DICKHEADS

**Togami Bottoms:** o fuck

**Togami Bottoms:** how the fuck did I forget

**Momdo:** ALRIGHT YOU KNOW WHAT SINCE LITERALLY NO ONE KNEW ABOUT KIYOTAKA’S BIRTHDAY I’M GOING TO FUCKING BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF YOU

**TheEggCameFirst:** come at me bro I have a baseball bat on hand 1v1 me bro

**Souldier:** Yea m8 I have a 12-guage pistol on-hand and I’m trained in 30 forms of hand-to-hand combat come at me bro

**RagingLesbo:** Come at me.

**Yaoi:** dude

**Yaoi:** U guys forgot Taka’s birthday there’s no stopping Mondo now

 

**LITERALLY 5 MINUTES LATER**

 

**Cokc:** I came home from the mall to find Mukuro on the verge of death i love it but who did it?

**I have done thy Leon:** I was about to ask the same thing but with Leon after i came back from a reading

**Cokc:** Guys…

**Yaoi:** Everyone forgot Taka’s birthday and now Mondo went full-on gay and beat everyone up

**Ishimom:** Mondo, although I appreciate the literal mountain of presents and full-blown birthday party, I do not approve of you harming our classmates over something so simple.

**Momdo:** How the fuck can I not, Kiyo?

**Ishimom:** What do you mean “how can I not”? You hurt our classmates! And over something so minuscule and ridiculous, too!

**Momdo:** Hey! Your birthday is literally the most important day of your goddamn life, got it?! It was the day you were born and I’m going to fucking honor the shit out of that! You know why? Cuz Taka you’re literally the best fucking thing in my life and you deserve way better fucking friends!

**Yaoi:** omg im actually dying the gay is incredible this is so fucking cute

**Tiddy:** U know what I'm not even mad at the punctured spleen Ishimondo is the only cure i need

**Tiddy:** And some protein plz send protein

**Ishimom:** Mondo, that’s really sweet of you to say! However, I don’t approve of the gratuitous use of swear words.

**Ishimom:** And another thing, I really don’t mind if others forgot about my birthday. I am used to it after all.

**Momdo:** FUCK THAT’S EVEN WORSE

**Momdo:** KIYOTAKA I’M GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST FUCKING DAY OF YOUR LIFE

**Ishimom:** You don’t have to, Mondo, the 300 unique, hand-made wooden sculptures you painstakingly made and individually wrapped was enough.

**Momdo:** Bro, there's nothing you don’t fucking deserve. You literally mean the world to me and are the best thing that ever happened in my life

**Momdo:** Btw I also made them all everyday leading up to your birthday from last year  <3

**Ishimom:** I really do appreciate it, Mondo. Thank you so much for remembering! I’ll cherish all 364 of them. And I know, for sure, that you’re the best boyfriend anyone could have.  <3

**I have done thy Leon:** damn i wish leon was this sappy when it came to birthdays

**I have done thy Leon:** All I got was a hand-made card and a shitty ass baseball bat

**TheEggCameFirst:** That’s nice and all but I actually have like a broken arm plz Hagakure

**Souldier:** same

**RagingLesbo:** help

 

**Alternate Titles:** Kiyotaka is my child i love him let him live aAa, yes he’s also my favorite character COULD YA TELL, Mondo being the best gay bf is my new favorite headcanon, well it’s always been my favorite headcanon sooo, I would say “Hanzo’s a Cunt” but vulgur language is not welcome in a school environment, *resisting the urge to say Hanzo’s a cunt*, HANZO’S A CU-


	33. If you're reading this there's a 99% chance I'm shoving 12 metric fucktons of gum into my face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My boy Kuzuryuu makes a debut in this chapter

**Cokc:** UGHGHGHGHGH

**Cokc:** I’m bOOOOOOROED

**Souldier:** Good for you

**Souldier:** Leave me alone

**Cokc:** Mu-mu, let’s play truth or dare!

**Souldier:** If u call me mu-mu ever again I will slaughter you

**Cokc:** Ur no fun  >:(

**Cokc:**  What bout we play some truth or dare?

**Cokc:** I dare u to change ur username to mu-mu for the rest of the day!

**Souldier:** no

_ Souldier changed their name to Mu-Mu _

**Mu-Mu:** CHIHIRO 

**Sombruh:** heuheueheuheueheuhe

**Mu-Mu:** U do know I have a knife collection right?

_ Mu-Mu changed their name to Souldier _

**Souldier:** Good.

**Sombruh:** plz don’t hurt ;_;

**Cokc:** yall have no sense of humor 

**Cokc:** I dare Mondo to film himself giving Taka a kiss~

**Tiddy:** yessssss

**Momdo:** Gladly

**Momdo:** Video.vid (just roll with it)

**Cokc:** AWWWWW

**Cokc:** I ship it so much ;w;

**Yaoi:** Join the club

**Tiddy:** *gasp* ALL THREE OF US SHOULD GET MATCHING ISHIMONDO SHIRTS :D

**Yaoi:** YES

**Cokc:** YES   
**Momdo:** NO

**Momdo:** THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR

**Ishimom:** YES PLEASE DON’T.

**Tiddy:** We’ll talk about this later girls ^3^

**Togami Bottoms:** I dare Togami to kiss me and record it~ ;)

**Yaoi:** boi we all know what ur doing here u aint slick

**Yaoi:** Don’t even try to surpass the Ishimondo

**Togami Bottoms:** :(

**Togami Bottoms:** I could sure use a kiss right now, Togami to cheer me up

**Naegi Tops:** Only so you shut up.

**Togami Bottoms:** <3

**Yaoi:** fuck it’s still cute

**100%Orangejuice:** Sayaka, truth or dare?

**Hatsune Miku:** Ooooh~ dare ;)

**100%Orangejuice:** I dare you…

**Hatsune Miku:** Yeeeeeees

**100%Orangejuice:** To bring me…

**Hatsune Miku:** YeeeeeeEEEEES

**100%Orangejuice:** The coldest, tallest, sexiest…

**Hatsune Miku:** YEEEEEEEES

**100%Orangejuce:** Glass of oj u could find plz im thirsty

**Hatsune Miku:** ;(

**Cokc:** Wow ur not the only thirsty one here Kyoko

**Togami Bottoms:** tmw u get cokcblocked by orange juice

**100%Orangejuice:** Don’t be sad Sayaka, we both know sex comes after 7 ;3

**Sombruh:** GET A ROOM U TWO WOW JEEZ

**Hatsune Miku:** We will...after 7

**Sombruh:** GROSS

**TheEggCameFirst:** Hey Hiro truth or dare?

**Yaoi:** (u aint slick we all know u want to get some of dat Hiro dick)

**TheEggCameFirst:** TRUTH OR DARE

**I have done thy Leon:** Last time I picked dare u had me strip and run around the neighberhood yelling “I rape chickens” until I almost got arrested so truth

**Cokc:** hol’ up

**Cokc:** wtf

**TheEggCameFirst:** Where did u get that million dollar crystal ball?

**TheEggCameFirst:** I know u didn’t get it from readings cuz u spend all that money buying shit for our chickens

**I have done thy Leon:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit

**I have done thy Leon:** fuck

**I have done thy Leon:** motherfucker

**I have done thy Leon:** ass cunt

**Ishimom:** You sound like Mondo after he stubbed his toe.

**Momdo:** You sound like Ishi in bed.

**Ishimom:** MONDO

**ClosetFetishist:** o

**TheEggCameFirst:** did u steal it?

**I have done thy Leon:**...no

_ Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko threatened Chihiro Fujisaki until he let them in this chat ;_; _

**Togami Bottoms:** I don’t remember that being a thing

**Sombruh:** I re-programmed it

**Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko:** YEAH WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MILLION DOLLARS FOR THAT STUPID CRYSTAL BALL, HUH?

**I have done thy Leon:** I’LL HAVE IT BY SUNDAY I PROMISE

**Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko:** YOU SAID THAT LAST SUNDAY FUCKER

**Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko:** DO YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT 1MIL OR DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS?

**I have done thy Leon:** JUST TAKE THE CRYSTAL BALL IM SORRY ;___;

**Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko:** I DON’T WANT THAT STUPID BALL I WANT MY GODDAMN MONEY

**Ishimom:** Excuse me! I know you’re the ultimate yakuza, but I refuse to have any of my classmates threatened! Right in front of my face too! I’ll be sure to have you reported to the authorities at once!

**TheEggCameFirst:** Yeah! And YOU’RE the one who’ll have to have to deal with broken kneecaps after this  >:(

**Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko:** You know, it’s really hard to take you seriously when your names are so fucking stupid

_ Chihro Fujisaki changed Kuzuryuu_Fyuhiko’s name to Baby Gangsta’ out of spite/for a meme >:3 _

**Sombruh:** Who’s the person with the ridiculous name now?

**Baby Gangsta’:** You’ve been hanging out with Akane, haven’t you, fucker?

**Sombruh:** maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe

**Baby Gangsta’:** WHAT THE FUCK EVER. HIRO I WON’T BE AFRAID TO SEND PEKO AFTER YOU IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE MONEY RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND

**I have done thy Leon:** D:

**RagingLesbo:** I’d like to see Pekoyama harm one of my friends without first getting past me.

**Tiddy:** YEAH GO SAKURA  <3

**Tiddy:** IF U WANNA GET TO HIRO ULL HAVE TO GET THERE LIKE A REAL MAN AND NOT BEHIND UR GIRLFRIEND ALL DAY

**Cokc:** *cough* ur not one to talk *cough*

**TheEggCameFirst:** I WOULD PAY ALL THE MONEY I HAVE TO SEE SAKURA FIGHT PEKO

**Tiddy:** My BET’S ON SAKURA WINNING

**ClosetFetishist:** Mine’s on Pekoyama.

**Baby Gangsta’:** ok RagingLesbo’s Sakura but who’s “Tiddy”, “Cokc”, “TheEggCameFirst” and “ClosetFetishist”?

**Baby Gangsta’:** These names sound like something Akane would pick out.

**Tiddy:** hina

**Cokc:** enoshima

**TheEggCameFirst:** Leon, Hiro’s boyfriend and ur worst nightmare

**ClosetFetishist:** Ludenberg

**Souldier:** No one asked but im Ikusaba

**Cokc:** no one asked

**Baby Gangsta’:** YOU KNOW WHAT I’LL SEND MY ENTIRE CLAN AFTER YOU HIRO, YOU’VE OWED US THIS MONEY FOR A MONTH.

**Naegi Tops:** Ugh, just meet me outside the city right now. I’ll pay off Hiro’s debt. After all, a million dollars is such a minuscule amount for me.

**Baby Gangsta’:** omfg

**Baby Gangsta’:** Please tell me that’s Togami

**Togami Bottoms:** it sure is

**Baby Gangsta’:** OMGIJFFGDOSIFJGFMGME E E ISDSSDDWF HOLY SHITHITT

**ClosetFetishist:** Ikr

**Tiddy:** I understood like one word from that

**Naegi Tops:** So are you going to accept the deal or sit there typing garbage like an idiot all day?

**Baby Gangsta’:** Whatever, sure, I’ll bring my men and Peko to be safe though, so don’t try any funny business. You’re off the hook Hiro, you got lucky, but next time I won’t be so merciful.

_ Chihiro Fujisaki kicked Baby Gangsta’ from the chat cuz he was a meanie panini _

**Sombruh:** God I love these new messages I programmed they’re just the best

**I have done thy Leon:** Thanks so much guys for sticking up for me. U guys r my best friends  <3

**Naegi Tops:** Don’t ever call me that ever again.

**Cokc:** So are we going to play more truth or dare or

 

Alternate: I got the idea for this chapter from SnowdropYakuza cuz I’m an unoriginal fuck, CONSISTENT UPDATE SCHEDULE? I DON’T EVEN KNOW HER *CRIES*, RIP hiro he ded, wait not yet anyways, Hanzo’s not only a cunt but also an unoriginal cunt as well.


	34. This has gone way too far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've only gotten to chapter two of Despair Girls and I already ship Tokomaru help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah btw if anything is inconsistent in the chapter that's cuz this was written at 11:50 im sorry

 

**Yaoi:** o btw Naegi i should probs tell u something v important

**Togami Bottoms:** What is it?

**Yaoi:** I’m sorta kinda 

**Yaoi:** Possibly probably most likely

**Yaoi:** kiiiiiinda fucking ur sister

**Naegi Bottoms:** Naegi just choked on his sandwich and I had to help him before he died. I blame you, Fukawa.

**Yaoi:** Bet that’s not the only thing he chokes on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**TheEggCameFirst:** yep he chokes on some DIACK

**Togami Bottoms:** TOUKO NOW IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME WITH THE ACTUALL FUCK

**Togami Bottoms:** HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING??

**Yaoi:**...2 years

**Togami Bottoms:** O MY FUICKIGN  GODDD TOUOK STOP NO

**Togami Bottoms:** i SWEASR TO GOD IF JILL HURTS MY SISTER I WILL FUCKING SLLAUGHTER U U GOT THAT??

**Yaoi:** ok wow jeez we’ve been dating 4 two years and nothing bad happened to her

**Togami Bottoms:** ALSO FIRST Y TF DID U NOT TELL ME EARLIER AND SECOND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DON’T CORRUPT HER SHE’S A CINNAMON BUN I SWEAR TO GOD O MY GOD I KNOW Y SHE STARTED MAKING SEX JOKES NOW FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U

**Yaoi:** um look im honoured u want to fuck me and all but I’m gay

**Togami Bottoms:** REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

_ Togami Bottoms left Dank Memes Broken Dreams cuz he was a fucking loser _

_ Yaoi now has all the power cuz Makoto died rip _

**Yaoi:** ooo

**Yaoi:** OOOOOOOO

**Yaoi:** OHOHOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHO

**Momdo:** fuck

**Momdo:** it was nice knowing u bro

**Ishimom:** It was nice knowing you too, Mondo.

**Tiddy:** Tell me wife I love her

**100%Orangejuice:** same

**RagingLesbo:** We’re both here tho??

**Hatsune Miku:** And I thought I was a drama queen jeez

**Cokc:** Mukuro

**Cokc:** I still fucking hate u

**Souldier:** same

**Otakool:** Is this the end? 

**TheEggCameFirst:** Don’t let that one time I shoved a baseball bat up my ass be my legacy plz

**TheEggCameFirst:** Erect a statue of me not shoving a baseball bat up my ass in my honour

**I have done thy Leon:** heh erect

**Sombruh:** I’m trying to hack as fast as possible it’s not working TELL MY NOT S/O I LOVE HIM/HER/THEM IDFK IT COULD BE A DRAGON DRAGONS R COOL I WOULD DATE A DRAGON Y NOT

**ClosetFetishist:** I dont know what my last words would be aa i wasn’t prepared

**ClosetFetishist:** I dunno milk tea is really good?

**Naegi Tops:** Does this mean I can leave?   
**Yaoi:** No

**Yaoi:** And now that everyone’s said their final words time to DO THIS SHIT

**Tiddy:** DON’T DO THIS D:

**Yaoi:** NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW I HAVE THE ULTIMATE POWER

**Yaoi:** FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS

_ Yaoi changed the name of Dank Memes Broken Dreams to Gay Bay Jail since apparently the name I picked wasn’t good enough >:( _

**Yaoi:** better.

**Yaoi:** Second order of business is to kick out all the heteros

_ Yaoi kicked Otakool from Gay Baby Jail cuz this would’ve happened eventually honestly _

_ Yaoi kicked Sombruh from Gay Baby Jail (if this happened then shit probably got outta hand) _

**Tiddy:** STOP THIS PLEASE

**Tiddy:** THEY DIDN’T DESERVE THIS FATE

**Naegi Tops:** Please let me leave.

**Yaoi:** BITCHES IM JUST GETTING STARTED

**TheEggCameFirst:** STOP I CAN’T TAKE IT

_ Yaoi kicked Souldier from Gay Baby Jail cuz she probably stabbed someone or summin _

**Cokc:** O my dear sister! First Makoto dies, and then my dear, dear sister! This is truly the worst, most horrible, most despair-inducing incident in all of human history!

**Cokc:** Please! Take me now! I can’t handle all this despair!

_ Yaoi kicked Cokc from Gay Baby Jail (finally jeez) _

**Yaoi:** I’m going to keep u celeste

**Yaoi:** Just cuz u a kinky bitch

**ClosetFetishist:** thanks?

**Hatsune Miku:** THIS IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE, TAKE ME NOW

**Hatsune Miku:** THE DESPAIR TRULY IS TOO MUCH. I CAN’T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!

**100%Orangejuice:** SAYAKA, SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG! EVERYONE ELSE IS RELYING ON YOU, YOU CAN’T GIVE UP NOW!

**Hatsune Miku:** But…*sob*...but I c-ca-can’t...k-keep going…*sob*

**100%Orangejuice:** *hugs* it’s ok, honey. We’ll get through this together…

**Hatsune Miku:** *ugly sobs ;-;*

**Yaoi:** YES

**Yaoi:** KEEP THE GAY COMING

**Ishimom:** Touko please! I have no choice to report you to the police, but there’s still hope! We can do this without all this slaughter!

**Yaoi:** BITCH I AM THE POLICE

**Yaoi:** AND NOW GET READY FOR THE PERFECT WORLD

**Yaoi:** A WORLD WHERE HETEROS CEASE TO EXIST AND ONLY GAY LOVE EXISTS

**Yaoi:** THE PERFECT WORLD WHERE ALL HOMOPHOBES ARE DEAD

**Yaoi:** I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THIS WORLD HAPPEN. NO MATTER HOW MUCH I HAVE TO SLAUGHTER!

_ Yaoi changed Ishimom’s name to fucksmondo...niiiice _

**Fucksmondo:** NOT ONLY IS THIS NAME UNORIGINAL AND BLAND, BUT IT’S INCREDIBLY DEGRADING AS WELL!

**Yaoi:** Fine ya little pussy ass bitch

_ Yaoi changed Fucksmondo’s name to Gay-otaka (wow totally original not) _

_ Yaoi changed Momdo’s name to Gay4Taka, must be sad not having any creativity _

**Gay4Taka:** tf?

**Yaoi:** Everyone living under my new utopia NEEDS to have a name relating in some way to their relationship, gayness, or sex

**Yaoi:** Also I’m extremely unoriginal so bear with me

_ Yaoi changed Hatsune Miku’s name to Gay Hatsune Miku, I mean, it could use work _

**Yaoi:** I’m getting real fucking mad with these pre-programmed messages Chihiro put in how do I get rid of them?

**Yaoi:** Bah, it doesn’t matter anyways!

**Gay Hatsune Miku:** When u said u had no originality u were right wow

**Yaoi:** SHUT UP, PEASANT

**Yaoi:** *whips*

**ClosetFetishist:** Did someone say whip? ;)

**100%Orangejuice:** OH YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR NOW

**100%Orangejuice:** YOU’RE NO LONGER TOUKO...YOU’RE A MONSTER

**100%Orangejuice:** I WILL KILL YOU YOU BITCH

**Yaoi:** o nooooo im sooooooo scared

**Yaoi:** NOT

_ Yaoi changed 100%Orangejuice’s name to Orange Juice Rapist...y tho? _

**Orange Juice Rapist:** I...I’ll get you...and I mean it. I will SLAUGHTER YOU

**Yaoi:** KYEHEHEHEHEHEHE, I DARE YOU TO EVEN TRY

**Tiddy:** QUICK SAKURA DO SOMETHING!

**RagingLesbo:** I can’t...I am powerless...physical strength means nothing down here…

**Yaoi:** YOU GOT THAT RIGHT

**Yaoi:** NOW GAY BABIES...KISS FOR UR MASTER!

**Gay4Taka:** Is this a porno?

**Yaoi:** I SAID KISS *whips*

**Gay4Taka:** Yep, definitly a prono

**Gay-otaka:** Mondo please.

**Yaoi:** Hm...having all this power is great and all...but it’s not as fun without a partner of my own!

_ Yaoi FORCED Komaru_Naegi :3 TO JOIN Gay Baby Jail FOR THE SAKE OF GAY _

**Komaru_Naegi :3:** What is this?

**Yaoi:** AH, MY WIFE HAS ARRIVED, HOW PERFECT!

**Komaru_Naegi :3:** Yep that’s touko

**Komaru_Naegi :3:** What’s going on here?

_ Yaoi changed Komaru_Naegi :3’s name to TheSexiestQueen;) _

**TheSexiestQueen;):** …

**Yaoi:** NOW MY QUEEN, WE WILL RULE THIS GAY UTOPIA TOGETHER. JUST ME AND YOU COMMANDING THESE LONELY PEASANTS THAT ARE BENEATH US!

**TheSexiestQueen;):** I don’t even know how to react to this

**Yaoi:** Just play along dipshit

_ Hopester hacked his way into Gay Baby Jail with the help of the almighty Chihiro :D _

**Yaoi:** WHAT? WHAT’S HAPPENIGN?!

**Hopester:** NO ONE CALLS MY SISTER A DIPSHIT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!   
**Yaoi:** BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!

_ Sombruh, Otakool, Cokc, and Souldier all came back to life to join Gay Baby Jail _

**Yaoi:** B-BUT HOW?? YOU’RE ALL DEAD! I SAW YOU ALL DIE WITH MY OWN TWO EYES!

**Sombruh:** I’m not the ultimate programmer for nothing!

**TheSexiestQueen;):** Makoto wtf is going on

**Hopester:** I’ll explain later! For now we need to take down Touko, once and for all!

**Cokc:** YOU CAN’T KILL ME THAT EASILY, BITCH

**Souldier:** as much as I hate living, I just gotta live for just a couple more hours

**Otakool:** I would never let Princess Piggles down by dying so easily!

**Yaoi:** NO! STOP! ALL OF YOU STOP! THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!

**Hopester:** Chihiro...do it...the finishing blow

**Sombruh:** *cool anime nod thing*

_ Sombruh disabled Yaoi’s admin powers HAH TAKE THAT LOSER _

**Yaoi:** NOOOO! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

_ Sombruh kicked Yaoi from Gay Baby Jail also FUCK OFF CUNNT _

**Hopester:** It’s over...finally over…

_ Just pretend everyone’s names turned into the ones they had before Touko was in power I’m too lazy to type out all that shit :/ _

**Komaru_Naegi :3:** Now can you explain what’s happening?

**Togami Bottoms:** first off Y TF DID U START DATING TOUKO OF ALL PEOPLE??? REALLY??? TOUKO??? I THOUGHT U KNEW BETTER KO

**Komaru_Naegi :3:** plz don’t call me ko

**Togami Bottoms:** AND SECONDLY Y IN THE EVER LIVING HELL DID U KEEP THIS A SECRET FOR TWO YEARS? I MEAN LIKE A WEEK OR SOME SHIT IS BAD ENOUGH BUT TWO FUCKING, WHOLE, BALLSACK-LICKING, COCK-SUCKING YEARS??

**Komaru_Naegi :3:** y did u use adjectives to describe urself and not the years bro?

**Togami Bottoms:** omg it’s worse than I thought

_ Komaru_Naegi :3 left Gay Baby Jail cuz she was bored _

**Togami Bottoms:** GET BACK HERE

**Sombruh:** I’m keeping his as Gay Baby Jail and no one can stop me

 

Alternate Titles: I would pay someone to draw Touko being mastermind but only kills off people who don’t ship her otps, except not actually pay cuz im a broke highschooler m8 any money I get I’m spending on cheetos and video games, *HINT HINT*, *COUGH COUGH*, *I’D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF SOMEONE DREW THAT COUGH COUGH*, wait shit now I feel like a pretentious asshole fUCK, also I just realized the only thing Hagakure said in this chapter was “heh erect”, that’s the Yasuhiro-est thing I can write tbh, Hanzo’s a ballsack-licking cock-sucking cunt.


	35. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY SAKURA *THROWS CONFETTI*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title...I guess? Also more tokomaru

**Tiddy:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Tiddy:** IM SO SORRY SAKURA 

**RagingLesbo:** for what?

**RagingLesbo:** did u mix the whites with the reds or…

**Tiddy:** EVEN WORSE

**Tiddy:** SO MUCH WORSE

**Tiddy:** IM SUCH A HORRIBLE GIRLFRIEND I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF U DUMPED ME

**RagingLesbo:** I assume this is not about laundry then

**Togami Bottoms:** spit it out man we don't have all day

**Tiddy:** UR BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY AND I FORGOT I'M SO SORRY ;_;

**Momdo:** *disapproves*

**RagingLesbo:** Oh thank goodness I thought it was something serious

**Tiddy:** WTF U MEAN THIS ISN'T SERIOUS???

**Tiddy:** YOU'RE BEST GIRL I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT

**100%Orangejuice:** wtf nah m8 Sayaka’s best girl

**Hatsune Miku:** We are NOT having this argument again

**Cokc:** last time we did I almost cried it was not fun

**Souldier:** same

**100%Orangejuice:** ok fine

**100%Orangejuice:** Sayaka’s still best girl

**Tiddy:** ANYWAY IM RLLY SORRY I FORGOT D:

**RagingLesbo:** Hina, it’s alright. I forgive you, you’re fine

**Tiddy:** I’m buying donuts 4 u to make it up

**Tiddy:** Wait now i’m going to MAKE donuts for you :D

**RagingLesbo:** <3

**Tiddy:** <3

**Togami Bottoms:** GAY

**Cokc:** Speaking of gay i want toko back

**Cokc:** It’s borrrring w/out her

**Sombruh:** eh whatever

_ Sombruh added Yaoi to Gay Baby Jail...why? I don’t fucking know why _

**Yaoi:** Um…

**Yaoi:** I’m sorry…?

**Togami Bottoms:** close nuff

**Yaoi:** Hey uh can u add Komaru in here?

**Togami Bottoms:** NO  

**Yaoi:** PLEASE

_ Sombruh added Komaru_Naegi:3 to Gay Baby Jail (oops i forgot to put a witty and original joke here) _

**Komaru_Naegi:3:** o this again

**Komaru_Naegi:3:** I swear toko if this is some weird roleplay chat

**Yaoi:** I thought u liked weird roleplay chats ;3

**Togami Bottoms:** *ANGERY*

**Komaru_Naegi:3:** shhh

**Komaru_Naegi:3:** not in front of Makoto

**Tiddy:** *mouth pop* noice

_ Sombruh changed Komaru_Naegi:3’s name to Cumaru Naegay _

**Togami Bottoms:** CHIHIROOOOOOOOOOO

**Sombruh:** heheheeheheheheheheheheh

**I have done thy Leon:** niiice

**Cumaru Naegay:** I don’t even have a response for this

**Cumaru Naegay:** I’m leaving this is boring

**Yaoi:** NO BBY DON’T LEAVE ME

**Yaoi:** I’VE BEEN STUCK WITH THESE IDIOTS LONG ENOUGH I NEED AT LEAST ONE HALF-DECENT PERSON TO TALK TO

**I have done thy Leon:** : <

**Momdo:** I’m taking a page outta Kuzuryuu’s book HOW DARE U INSULT TAKA LIKE THIS I WILL SPLIT UR GODDAMN KNEECAPS OPEN

**Ishimom:** Mondo please.

**Yaoi:** I’m sorry Ishimondo but u have been surpassed on the gay scale

**Yaoi:** Isn’t that right honey  <3

**Cumaru Naegay:** I don’t know what’s happening

**Yaoi:** EVERYONE INTRODUCE URSELF TO MY WAIF OR ELSE I WILL CUT UR ASSES

**Cumaru Naegay:** I already know who all of them are hun

**Yaoi:** u do? How?

**  
** **Cumaru Naegay:** I used to follow ur blog till it got shut down

**Yaoi:** o yeeeaaah

**Yaoi:** Thanks babe  <3

**Tiddy:** **Picture of Hina and Sakura eating heart-shaped donuts and being cute lesbians just roll wid it**

**Tiddy:** I made these for Sakura  <3

**RagingLesbo:** You really didn’t have to do this Hina, but I appreciate it nonetheless

**Tiddy:** Anything for u  <3

**Cumaru Naegay:** Wow that’s pretty gay

**Otakool:** You think that’s gay? What Mondo did for Taka’s birthday was like 10x gayer

**Yaoi:** A lot of gay happened after the blog was cancelled

**Cumaru Naegay:** I can see that mhm

**Cumaru Naegay:** Anyway I’m bored

**Sombruh:** same

**Yaoi:** the one day THE ONE DAY NO ONE DOES ANYTHING EVER AND IT’S THE DAY MY WIFE GETS TO VISIT WOW

**Yaoi:** JUST LAST WEEK MUKURO TRIED TO BEAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK OUT OF JUNKO U SHOULDA SEEN IT IT WAS AMAZING

**Sombruh:** weren’t u unconscious the whole time?

**Cumaru Naegay:** This needs context

**Yaoi:** AND THEN HIRO AND LEON STARTED BANGING ON TOP OF MY UNCONSCIOUS BODY IT WAS GROSS

**Cumaru Naegay:** THIS REALLY NEEDS CONTEXT

**TheEggCameFirst:** OK LISTEN HERE U LITTLE SHIT WE WEREN’T FUCKING WE WERE MAKING OUT ON THE SIDEWALK

**I have done thy Leon:** YEAH WE ONLY FUCK BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

**Hatsune Miku:** What about that one time…

**Cumaru Naegay:** omg that chapter was a classic

**I have done thy Leon:** IKR

**Yaoi:** quick someone do something before my wife is bored AGAIN

**ClosetFetishist:** uh

**ClosetFetishist:** someone stole my hentai 

**Yaoi:** FINALLY SOMETHING JUICY

**Cumaru Naegay:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Yaoi:** *sniff* they grow up so fast :’)

**Togami Bottoms:** *AUTISTIC SCREECHING*

**Otakool:** o sorry bout taking ur hentai Celeste i needed a reference

**Yaoi:** WHAT

**Yaoi:** THAT’S IT???

**Yaoi:** THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FAKE TRIAL AND CONVICTIONS AND PLOT TWISTS AND THEN THE HENTAI WOULD BECOME A MEME THAT BECAME STALE LIKE  IN 2 HOURS AND THEN CELESTE’S NAME WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CHANGED WTF IS THIS SHIT???

**100%Orangejuice:** hmmmmmmm

**100%Orangejuice:** I feel like you’re referencing something...but I don’t know what…

**100%Orangejuice:** *suspiciously sips orange juice*

_ Cumaru Naegay left Gay Baby Jail ;-; _

**Yaoi:** I blame all of u

**Togami Bottoms:** fair nuff

Alternate Titles: I COULDN’T GET A CHAPTER OUT FOR SAKURA’S BIRTHDAY BEST GIRL DIDN’T DESERVE THIS ;-;, C’MON AND SLAM AND WELCOME TO THE JAM, I guess this’ll start updating only on weekends because fuck 3-hour daily marching band rehearsals, I would quit but I need to do marching band if I wanna do concert band and what else am I going to do with a $500 metal stick?, oh I forgot I had to make jokes, uh hanzo’s a cunt?


	36. Sometimes u just gotta take your phone out in the middle of running a mile in PE and write a chapter about laser tag and then not finish it until sunday ya know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey remember when I said I'll never use the SDR2 characters in this fic?

**Sombruh:** Guys we should play laser tag

**Momdo:** Fuck yeah!

**Sombruh:** Against class 77

**Momdo:** Fuck no!

**Togami Bottoms:** y not

**Momdo:** I don’t want to see that dancer bitch

**Ishimom:** Do you mean Saionji?

**Momdo:** Yeah that bitch

**Yaoi:** That’s even more of a reason to come to laser tag

**Yaoi:** So u can beat the shit out of her in a 1v1

**Momdo:** I know I can

**Momdo:** But I’m dreading the moment where I get shot by her and she makes fun of me

**ClosetFetishist:** “Oh no I’m Mondo and I have such fragile masculinity that when a little girl makes fun of me in laser tag I cry myself to sleep booohoooo”

**ClosetFetishist:** That’s what I heard you say

**Momdo:** Ur not one to talk mrs. I’m too weak to better myself so I disguise myself as a goth loli to hide my insecurity and make me feel better rather than take action to improve my overall character

**100%Orangejuice:** *mouth pop* noice

**ClosetFetishist:** Fuck off fag

**Momdo:** U wanna go? I’ll beat the shit out of you I don’t care

**Cokc:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Sombruh:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Yaoi:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Ishimom:** BOTH OF YOU, DON’T YOU DARE START FIGHTING AGAIN.

**Ishimom:** How about instead of insulting each other we talk more about laser tag?

**Momdo:**...Fine

**Sombruh:** So I want to know who’s going to come 

**Ishimom:** I’ve never played laser tag before. So I feel as if this’ll be a fun and educational experience to go through.

**Naegi Tops:** I have nothing else to do. So I’ll humor you cretins and join you.

**Togami Bottoms:** :O Holy shit I don’t have to drag Togami to laser tag this is the best day of my life 

**Naegi Tops:** Stop overreacting, Naegi.

**Sombruh:** So that’s two people who I never thought would attend attend

**Sombruh:** Everyone else?

**TheEggCameFirst:** tbh who doesn’t like laser tag?

**I have done thy Leon:** Fuck yeah laser tag lets go

**Sombruh:** mmmmkay im buying the tickets

**Sombruh:** We’re going to go lasertagging and then get pizza for lunch

**Naegi Tops:** Ugh, I’ll pass on that garbage you eat.

**Naegi Tops:** It’s bad enough I play such an asinine, mind-numbingly stupid game like laser tag.

**Tiddy:** Yeah whatever princess

**Tiddy:** Anyway LASERTAG

 

**_Meanwhile in Class 77’s chatroom_ **

 

_ Yuri added 13 others to DANK MEMES _

**Yuri:** ok so I finally learned how to add people into group chats so NOW you can't leave  >:D

**BabyGangsta:** fuck

**Yuri:** I don’t care anyway chihiro’s inviting us to laser tag and pizza on the house who wants to come?

**ScreamingMountaindew:** Free pizza and laser tag? Fuck yeah count me in!

**TheUltimateFurry:** Tell me, what is this game you speak of?

**TheUltimateCunt:** It’s about shooting each other for fun and then seeing who’s the last survivor!

**TheUltimateFurry:** I’m not sure I’m going to trust someone who’s defining title is “TheUltimateCunt”.

**TheUltimateFurry:** Kazuichi, you’re the only mortal I would trust my life with. Tell me about this game.

**ScreamingMountaindew:** ok so u take these fake plastic guns and you...shoot each other I guess. But it doesn’t actually kill anyone, it just shoots a beam of light and the person shot loses points

**ScreamingMountaindew:** The winner is the person who shot the most people and got shot the least

**TheUltimateFurry:** Fascinating. There was a game similiar to this back in the underworld. It had the same rules, but everyone who participated and lost was given eternal suffering.

**Precious_Angle:** Ooh! Amazing! I can’t believe they had laser tag down in the underworld!

**Yuri:** Anyone want to tell her?

**Yuri:** Anyone other than Hiyoko?

**TheUltimateCunt:** :(

**Tumblr:** NOT IT

**Potentialyandere:** nope id rather die and im not even joking

**Fat:** I’ll...tell her after lunch

**Hope_Slut:** Wait...are you serious? Chihiro wants to invite me to a game of laser tag...with all of you? And Class 78?

**Ahogay:** uh yep

**Hope_Slut:**...I need to sit down. I thought it was enough that I got invited to a group chat with such shining beacons of hope such as yourselves...holy shit

**Ahogay:** brb im going to have a very long and in-depth talk with Komaeda

**BabyGangsta:** I’m going if peko’s going

**TheUltimatePervert:** Same ;)

**BabyGangsta:** **ANGERY**

**Yuri:** Ok everyone who isn’t going say “I”   
**Potentialyandere:** I

**Yuri:** Good everyone’s coming

**Potentialyandere:** shit no stop i don’t want to go

**Potentialyandere:** I 

**Potentialyandere:** I I I I II I  II  I II I II I I II I II  II I I I  I    II I II I  IIIIIIII

**Potentialyandere:** **IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

**TheUltimateCunt:** shut the fuck up slut no one wants to hear you

**Potentialyandere:** ;_;

**Tumblr:** Hiyoko…

**Tumblr:** What did we say about being a dickwad?

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Did someone say laser tag?

  
Alternate Titles: I was supposed to release 3 chapters this week buuuuuuuut, I mean not to brag or anything but I  _ am  _ the ultimate procrastinator, I actually went laser tagging this weekend and I got 3rd place twice in a row and 1st place one other time B), the packs also had names and those names were Overwatch characters, I got Hanzo one game and I was M A D, speaking of hanzo guess who’s a cunt


	37. Sometimes u just gotta take your phone out in the middle of running a mile in PE and write a chapter about laser tag and then not finish it until sunday ya know?: Part two, electric boogalo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laser tag is pretty fun my man

**Sombruh:** Ugh

 **Sombruh:** Y tf do my legs hurt?

 **Yaoi:**  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Sombruh:** >:(

 **Momdo:** Didn’t we go laser tagging last night?

 **Sombruh:** Oh yeah

 **Sombruh:** Still y do i feel like i have a hangover

 **Ishimom:** I certainly hope none of us drank any alcohol, I’m sure at least half of us are underage.

 **Cokc:** I remember that wild night

 **Cokc:** Yeah, no, a shit ton of people smoked some beer

 **Cokc:** Can’t remember who though…

 **Souldier:** I know u did

 **Cokc:** That probably explains why my underwear is in my hair and why i have a hair tie shoved up my ass

 **TheEggCameFirst:** TOO MUCH INFORMATION

 **100%Orangejuice:** Legit the last thing I remember from last night was the laser tag game

 **Hatsune Miku:** Oh yeah Hiro and Leon were making out and then hiyoko shot them

 **Hatsune Miku:** Good times…

 **I have done thy Leon:** Tbh what didn’t happen last night?

 **Yaoi:** My phone is full of pictures of both Jill and me as well as a triple in gay porn I consider that a success

 **Sombruh:** How much storage does that phone have jesus christ id kill to have that kind of storage on my computer

 **Cokc:** Oooh, who would you kill?

 **Yaoi:** Kazuichi built this phone for me ask him

 **Sombruh:** I mean I’d probably kill Teruteru

 **ClosetFetishist:** That asshole stole my hentai collection one time I’d probably kill him too

 **Otakool:** :O SAMME

 **ClosetFetishist:** EYOOO

 **Otakool:** EYOOO B)

 **Souldier:** I know who I’m killing

 **Souldier:** _Junko_

 **Cokc:** Oh please you wouldn’t even touch me before I stab you

 **Souldier:** Is that a challenge?

 **Sombruh:** I wonder if, in some twisted set of events, Mondo ends up killing Taka…

 **Yaoi:** STOP NO UR BREAKING MY HEART JUST AT THE THOUGHT

 **Momdo:** I’d rather die than let anyone or anything hurt Taka

 **Momdo:** I’m legit not even exaggerating it’s a man’s promise

 **Tiddy:** Waking up to Ishimondo??? Yes please???

 **Ishimom:** Same here; I’d rather sacrifice my own life than let anything happen to Mondo.

 **Tiddy:** But what if one of them dies horribly before the other?

 **Momdo:** And then-

 **Momdo:** Fuck

 **ClosetFetishist:** Duh, kill the other so that they can be re-united in heaven

 **Tiddy:** So tragic and angsty I love it

 **Tiddy:** Who would you kill Sakura?

 **RagingLesbo:** Why would you ask me this?

 **Tiddy:** Just answer

 **RagingLesbo:** I wouldn’t kill anyone. But if I was forced to pick...Junko

 **Tiddy:** OMG I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING :O

 **Souldier:** If anyone’s killing junko it’s me

 **Cokc:** ladies, ladies, there’s enough of me to go around

 **I have done thy Leon:** I wonder who I would kill...

 **Yaoi:** Leon…’s ass

 **I have done thy Leon:** I already did that though

 **TheEggCameFirst:** I know who I’m killing

 **I have done thy Leon:** Luv u too babe  <3

 **TheEggCameFirst:** >:(

 **Sombruh:** I mean, if u were forced to, who would u kill Togami?

 **Naegi Tops:** Clearly I’d either go for the biggest threat or the weakest target.

 **Naegi Tops:** For biggest threat, either Kirigiri or Oogami. For weakest target, it would definitely be you, Fujisaki.

 **Sombruh:** Wow u know what u could’ve at least pretended to hesitate :(

 **Naegi Tops:** You asked me a question, and I answered it. Don’t complicate anything more than needed with your stupidity.

 **Momdo:** **@Togami Bottoms** I know I already asked you this but y do u date this asshole again?

 **Hatsune Miku:** AU where Naegi is secretly a gold digger

 **Hatsune Miku:** Or desperate

 **Hatsune Miku:** Or both

 **Togami Bottoms:** :’(

 

 **Alternate Titles:** SURPRISE ANOTHER CHAPTER EYYYOOOOO, there’ll be a part three don’t worry, YOU THOUGHT THE NEXT UPDATE WAS GOING TO BE ON THE WEEKEND, BUT YOU WERE WRONG, OR YOU DON’T CARE, EITHER WAY I’M POSTING THIS CHAPTER AND THERE’S NOTHING U CAN DO ABOUT IT   >:D, Hanzo’s the kind of cunt that could rival Togami.


	38. Sometimes u just gotta take your phone out in the middle of running a mile in PE and write a chapter about laser tag and then not finish it until sunday ya know? Part three: The awakening of the rise of the planet of the class 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I GOT THAT NERD RAGE

 

**MEANWHILE, IN CLASS 77’S CHATROOM**

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** HOLY SHIT THAT LASER TAG GAME LAST NIGHT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** IBUKI FUCKING LOVED THAT SHIT

**Fat:** ok calm down no need to scream

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I TOLD U MY CAPS LOCK THINGY IS STUCK AND I CAN'T TURN IT OFF

**ScreamingMountaindew:** But you're on a phone and unless ur using a blackberry or some shit that doesn't happen

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** SHUT THE FUCK UP :3

**PotentialYandere:** someone call?

**TheUltimateCunt:** I heard mikan talking also guess who's a fat whore?

**PotentialYandere:** ;~;

**TheUltimateCunt:** Knowing her she's probably crying irl

**TheUltimateCunt:** Little pussy ass bitch can't handle someone calling her a fat whore

**Tumblr:** HIYOKO

**Tumblr:** STOP BEING A CUNT

**Tumblr:** OR ELSE NO SNUGGLES  >:(

**TheUltimateCunt:** Ok...but only cuz I want snuggles

**Precious_Angel:** Yes! That laser tag game was hella fun!

**PotentialYandere:** I didn’t think it was that fun

**PotentialYandere:** That after-party tho

**Yuri:** What even happened there I don’t even remember

**Baby Gangsta:** I remember a lot of people making out

**TheUltimatePervert:** I remember getting laid

**PotentialYandere:** Hah, nice one, even  _ I  _ wouldn’t sleep with you, let alone a girl with standards

**TheUltimateCunt:** Not a bad roast...for a fat cow anyways

**PotentialYandere:** I’ll take any compliment I can take at this point

**TheUltimatePervert:** U hurt me Mikan ;(

**Baby Gangsta:** Good

**Baby Gangsta:** U remember anything Peko?

**“Young Master”:** I do, actually, since I was the only not drunk one there

**“Young Master”:** Not even Ishimaru was sober

**Aho-gay:** What do u remember?

**“Young Master”:** Ehhhhhhhh do I have to say?

**Yuri:** Ooooh, did u and ur “young master” do the dirty? ;3

**“Young Master”:** I wish that was the only thing that happened

**Baby Gangsta:** EXCUSE ME??

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** OOOOOH WHAT DID IBUKI DO?

**“Young Master”:** You started playing your famous song, and I quote, “Don’t you hate it when sand gets in your ass? Yeah sex on the beach isn’t that fun”

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I REMEMBER THAT SONG

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** MAN THAT WAS A BEST-SELLER BACK IN 2011

**Baby Gangsta:** HOLD ON WAIT GO BACK WTF

**Baby Gangsta:** WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED?

**“Young Master”:** I also remember Hajime and Nagito having a make out competition with Ishimaru and Mondo

**Hope_Slut:** Yeah that was fun

**Baby Gangsta:** DON’T IGNORE ME PEKO THAT’S AN ORDER

**Yuri:** Bet that’s not the only thing ur ordering her to do EYOO

**Baby Gangsta:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

**“Young Master”:** I thought you didn’t want me to follow orders anymore…?

**Baby Gangsta:** >:(

**Fat:** o god wtf

**Fat:** no wonder why my mouth tastes like liquor

**TheUltimateCunt:** What did you think happened? If you taste liquor then it’s because you drank liquor, dumbass!

**Tumblr:** That’s it

**Tumblr:** No more snuggles

**TheUltimateCunt:** D:

**Baby Gangsta:** I’m never getting an answer am I?

**Yuri:** NOPE

**Sombruh:** wait how did I end up here?

 

**Alternate Titles:** And thus the laser tag trilogy has ended, fuck I should probably do an essay due on Tuesday now aaAAAAAAAA, do any of yall remember dick figures?, DO ANY OF YALL REMEMBER YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN???, I USED TO WATCH BOTH OF THOSE SERIES ALL THE TIME IN 6TH GRADE, no wonder I ended up the way I did, also hanzo’s the true Ultimate Cunt.


	39. The same thing except it's NDRV3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title.
> 
> Oh, also I have a Tumblr, it's called thebloodykirby. U can follow me if u want but all I do is repost shit so.
> 
> I was too lazy to bold the text so have fun with that.

 

Kaede Akamatsu: Penis

Angie Yonaga: WestboroBaptistChurch

Gonta Gokuhara: BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?

Himiko Yumeno:  GundhamButMoreAnnoying

K1-B0: DicklessScrapMetal

Kaito Momota: StarWarts

Kirumi Tojo: MomBot5000

Kokichi Oma: DropUrPantas;)

Korekiyo Shinguji: WhoAreYouAgain?

Maki Harukawa: Bitch

Miu Iruma: Mikan2.0

Rantaro Amami: AvocadoBoi

Ryoma Hoshi: SizeDoesn’tMatter

Schuichi Saihara: LameHat

Tenko Chabashira: PinwheelHead

Tsumugi Shirogana: TotallyOriginalCharacterMhm

 

_ DropurPantas;) invited 15 others to PantaParadise _

 

DropurPantas;): Hah, Class 77 and 78 think they’re sooooo much better than us

DropurPantas;): Well they have another thing coming >:D

Penis: That’s nice and all but y is my name Penis?

DropurPantas;): Cuz penis sounds like pianist

Mikan2.0: These names suck ass

Mikan2.0: I am 10x better than that stupid slut

WhoAreYouAgain?: I feel like I should be offended but…

LameHat: I hate you.

DropuPantas;): heeeheheeeheheeee

GundhamButMoreAnnoying: Who’s gundam again?

GundhamButMoreAnnoying: Actually don’t answer that I don’t care

GundhamButMoreAnnoying: I’m going to sleep

PinwheelHead: Cmon Himiko don’t be that way!

PinwheelHead: We could have a lot of fun together!

DropurPantas;): ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

PinwheelHead: SHUT UP YOU DEGENERATE MALE SCUM >:(

DropurPants;): Tenko u hurt me ;(

Bitch: I already hate this

SizeDoesn’tMatter: Same

DropurPantas: O don’t be such sour pusses let’s just get along togther

AvocadoBoi: That sounds like some dumb shit Kaede would say

Penis: >:(

LameHat: O shut up don’t rag on Kaede like that

AvocadoBoi: U know ur lame crush is gay right?

LameHat: Wait...whjat

Penis: Fuckin hell Amami wtf

AvocadoBoi: woops ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

LameHat: Hol up

LameHat: waaaaaaaaaat

Mikan2.0: Yeah fuck off cunt she’s mine

MomBot5000: I hear Shuichi crying in his room what did u fuckers do?

DropurPantas;): Ask Amami 

AvocadoBoi: Well...u see...

AvocadoBoi: Uh...Kaede came out…

Penis: He did most of the work

MomBot5000: U little shit u knew he wasn’t ready

Bitch: I recommend a tranquilizer gun

AvocadoBoi: HEY BLAME KOKICHI HE’S THE ONE THAT MADE THIS CHAT

MomBot5000: I blame u both

BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?: Kaede, Gonta’s so proud that you finally came out :D

BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?: I’m using these emoji thing correctly, yes?

DropurPantas;): Nah u only use the :D emoji when ur rlly sad and u use the ;~; when u laugh at someone’s pain and suffering

BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?: Ah, thank you for informing me friend, with this knowledge Gonta can become true gentleman

DicklessScrapMetal: So that’s how you use those? Huh...I guess I’ve been using them wrong this whole time…

DicklessScrapMetal: Also Kokichi YOU ROBOPHOBE! I AM WAY MORE THAN DICKLESS SCRAPMETAL!

DropurPantas;): I see how it is

_ DropurPants;) Changed DicklessScrapMetal’s name to JustScrapMetal _

MomBot5000: Maki can u grab an extra tranq dart I have some trash to get rid off

Bitch: Gladly

DropurPantas;): Both of u guys know that tranq guns don’t work on scrap metal

JustScrapMetal: :D

DropurPantas;): This is too much funsojfdslknfdsknfslkdfnssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

MomBot5000: Mission accomplished B)

SizeDoesn’tMatter: You know what nvm i love this now that kokichi is gone

WestboroBaptistChurch: U guys are so mean!

WestboroBaptistChurch: Atua says that we should all just get along!

Mikan2.0: Me getting along with anyone other than Kaede is like saying Togami’s going to fuck Mondo it’s not happening

Penis: I’m conflicted

Penis: Very conflicted

PinwheelHead: Ah it’s so beautiful! Girl-on-girl love was the way it was meant to be <3

Mikan2.0: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

PinwheelHead: NOT IN THAT WAY WEIRDO

WestboroBaptistChurch: Atua approves of the gay

JustScrapMetal: Is Atua gay? Just curious, please don’t smite me

WestboroBaptistChurch: Atua says that He’ll tell you if you give him a pint of your blood!

JustScrapMetal: But I’m a robot…

WestboroBaptistChurch: Then no answers for you!

JustScrapMetal: :D

Penis: Who’s going to tell him?

SizeDoesn’tMatter: Not me

AvocadoBoi: Nope 

Bitch: I know I’m the Ultimate Child Caregiver but…

BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?: Tell him what?

MomBot5000: *sigh* Gonta, Kibo, we need to have a looong talk in private

DropurPantas;): Oh god I just woke up

DropurPantas;): U two are some kinky bitches ;)

Bitch: Back to sleep u go

Penis: Savage

StarWarts: omg i feel like death i drannk way too much booze last night D:

Bitch: Nice job dumbass

StarWarts: Atleast Ouma got one name right

_ Sombruh hacked her way into this chatroom cuz shit was getting boring _

Mikan2.0: Fucking finally, something is happening!

_ Sombruh invited Yuri to PantaParadise _

Sombruh: SUP FUCKERS

Sombruh: I’M WASTED AND READY TO FUCK UP UR DAY

Yuri: EYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sombruh: EYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

StarWarts: O shit Chihiro and Akane issat u guys?

Yuri: FUCK YEA

Sombruh: THE MOMENT I GOT WORD OF THIS CHATROOM I MADE MY WAY OVER

SizeDoesn’tMatter: o god I already have a headache

StarWarts: YO GUYS WTF IS GOIN ONNNN

Sombruh: JUST GETTIN WASTED OFF MY ASS NEXT TO AKANE AND JUNKO WBU

MomBot5000: O god who gave Junko alcohol?

MomBot5000: I’m calling Kirigiri this is not ok

Yuri: MomBot5000...more like...Ishimaru2.0 cUZ U GOT A FUCKING STICK UP UR ASS

StarWarts: NICEEE

Sombruh: IF MONDO WAS HERE HE’D BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF U AKANE

Penis: I’m leaving

Mikan2.0: NAH M8 UR STAYING SHIT’S JUST GETTING STARTED

AvocadoBoi: This is not ok

LameHat: I just came back from crying what happened

LameHat: I mean I wasn’t crying

MomBot5000: He was totally crying

MomBot5000: He also asked me for apple juice

LameHat: wtf man they don’t know that shit

Yuri: FUCK THAT APPLE JUICE SHIT MAN GET URSELF SOME DANK ASS HARD APPLE CIDER

StarWarts: WTF U GUYS HAVE APPLE CIDER AND DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME??

Sombruh: YEAH MAN COME OVER THIS SHIT’S LIT

TotallyOriginalCharacterMhm: Can we do this again i wasn’t paying attention

 

Alternate Titles: I’ve only played the first chapter of V3 don’t h8 plz, Kaede x Iruma is the only V3 thing I ship so far, I actually ship Kaede x Shuichi but any hetero ship in  the fic that isn’t Kuzupeko is S I N, I mean Naegiri is alright too but, I needed to get this out before I forgot to name Kaede Penis ok that was very important, No V3 spoils plz ;-;, Hanzo’s the cunt that told me that the Mastermind in V3 was-


	40. I'm not dead, just lazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title i gues

**Sombruh:** *The cool night air is charged and buzzing with excitement*

**Sombruh:** *Thrill courses through your blood like crisp July waters*

**Sombruh:** *No one can focus, you can feel their hype radiating in the air,.as if you were standing next to a nuclear generator*

**Sombruh:** *Rumors and murmurs robust with enthusiasm fly through the sky like birds in spring* 

**Sombruh:** * _ Halloween is coming. 13 days* _

**Yaoi:** I know what ya’ll are thinking but don’t compare my writing to that pretentious garbage

**Togami Bottoms:** Toko have u been hanging out w/ togami u sound a lot like him

**Yaoi:** Money money im togami and im a dick but i also slurp it like a fucking milkshake

**Togami Bottoms:** Excerpt from ur newest fanfiction i assume

**Sombruh:** fuck all yall I worked rlly hard on that poem  >:(

**Ishimom:** And it was very lovely!

**Sombruh:** At least someone here appreciates good talent

**Momdo:** Chihiro u little cunt

**Sombruh:** Nani?

**Momdo:** U knew today was the day those stupid fucking butter and toast costumes arrived

**Sombruh:** Who? Lil ol’ me? ;3

**Momdo:** Yes you, you little shit

**Sombruh:** >:3

_ DropUrPantas;) hacked in his way into Gay Baby Jail because evil person i guess _

**DropUrPantas;):** Someone say little shit?

_ Sombruh kicked DropUrPantas;) cuz he’s a dick _

**Sombruh:** As I was saying

**Sombruh:** Blame Junko

**Cokc:** Someone call?

**Momdo:** you. Fuck you.

**Cokc:** I mean if u insist…

**Momdo:** I’m M A D

**Ishimom:** He’s mad.

**Souldier:** No shit sherlock

**100%Orangejuice:** Someone call?

**Sombruh:** W AIT

_ Sombruh changed 100%Orangejuice’s name to Sherlcokc haha _

**Sherlcokc:** niceeeee

**Sombruh:** We’re almost to halloween who has their costumes?

**Momdo:** p sure it’s only me and Taka…

**Momdo:** *angry grumbling*

**I have done thy Leon:** I have my chicken costume

**Sombruh:**...

**Sombruh:** THAT’S IT???

**Sombruh:** How dare ya’ll disrespect best holiday by not having costumes ready?

**Souldier:** What’re our plans for halloween anyway other than costumes

**Sombruh:** Trick-or-Treating with 77 duh

**Sherlcokc:** Aren’t we a bit old for trick-or-treating?

**Sombruh:** AREN’T U A BIT OLD TO STILL BE COLOURING IN CRAYONS WHILE DRINKING ORANGE JUICE LIKE A FUCKING 3TH GRADER?

**Hatsune Miku:** HEY THOSE DRAWINGS ARE PRECIOUS AND THEY WILL FOREVER BE ON THE FRIDGE

**Sherlcokc:** U tell em honey

**Yaoi:** Did…

**Yaoi:** Did u just say 3th grader?

**Sombruh:** Who cares

**Naegi Tops:** Really? Trick-or-Treating? Crayon drawings? Orange juice? What are you people, 5?

**Naegi Tops:** At least pretend like you’re almost adults.

**Togami Bottoms:** Just cuz you’re old doesn’t mean u can’t do fun stuff like color and trick or treat

**Naegi Tops:** Whatever…

_ Sombruh changed Naegi Tops’s name to MoreWhippedThanMondo _

**ClosetFetishist:** But Naegi Tops was so good

**Momdo:** I don’t know whether to laugh or  be offended

**Momdo:** I’ll do both

**Cokc:** Niiiiice

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Like I said, you’re acting like a child.

**Togami Bottoms:** He’s not showing it but  he’s super angry and it’s C UT E

**Sombruh:** He didn’t immediately responding with ‘shut the fuck up naegi’ so my point is proven

**Sombruh:** #Whipped

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** >:(

**ClosetFetishist:** Wait class 77 is coming t-o-t with his?

**Sombruh:** Ur kinda late there but ye

**ClosetFetishist:** who’s gunna be who?

**Sombruh:** I know that Souda’s gunna be left shark

**Togami Bottoms:** Gross

**Sombruh:** And Gundham’s going to be, and I quote: “The most heinous, evil, manipulative demon known to mankind, the underworld, and everything inbetween. Something dripping with so much raw evil that even I, the Supreme Overlord of Ice, tamer of multiple Devas of Destruction from the seven circles of Hell, shudder at the mere thought of.”

**Sherlcokc:** It’s going to be super anti-climactic I can tell

**Sombruh:** “The demon, Satan himself’s second-hand man, Kokichi Ouma.”

**CloserFetishist:** I have to agree with him. Little shit stole my whip

**Momdo:** I thought he was going to say Hiyoko

**Togami Bottoms:** I thought he was going to say Syo

**Yaoi:** Wow there’re a lot of assholes in our school

**ClosetFetishist:** Anyone else?

**Sombruh:** Nagito’s going to put a rotten banana peel on his head and call himself trash

**Sombruh:** That’s all I got

**ClosetFetishist:** That’s it?

**ClosetFetishist:** I thought he’d be a lot more creative

**Souldier:** What did u think, he’s Hinata’s bf

**Tiddy:** Tru v tru   
  


**Alternate Titles:** WHO’S GOT A PENIS?, BITCH GOTTA PENIS, I just embarrassed myself online for a joke only like 3 people would get, then again when did I ever not do that?, I worked hard on that part with Gundham, yeah I spent like 2 minutes on that shit, Hanzo’s halloween costume’s just as boring as Hinata’s costume, (Hinata’s going as a stereotypical vampire fyi).


	41. November more like NOvember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me have this I've had 17 hours straight of marching band 2 days in a row

 

**Sombruh:** Tonight

**Sombruh:** We trick or treat

**Togami Bottoms:** Yes

**Sherlcokc:** But we won’t get any candy cuz we’re like 18

**Sombruh:** Lol I don’t know bout ya’ll but I look like a 13 year old sooo

**Momdo:** Lucky piece of shit  >:(

**Ishimom:** Mondo looks hilarious in his butter costume, honestly he looks really adorable too.

**Tiddy:** MMMMMM YES

**Momdo:** Ishi no

**Momdo:** Ishi stop

**Ishimom:** **Image of Mondo in a butter costume.jpg**

**Momdo:** y

**Yaoi:** AWWW

**Yaoi:** HE LOOKS LIKE A SMOL CHILD

**Momdo:** Do you want to die?

**Sombruh:** I thought that was Maki’s thing

**Souldier:** That was my line, bitch stole it

**Souldier:** And she has the gall to say it to my face too

**Cokc:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Hatsune Miku:** I actually wanna see them fight

**Hatsune Miku:** I wonder who’d cut out the other’s guts first…

**Momdo:** Wait

**Momdo:** Maki vs Mukuro vs Peko

**Souldier:** I’m always up for a challenge

**Yaoi:** DId someone say three-way?

**Souldier:** No

**Souldier:** You ruined it

**Yaoi:** That’s what I do, baby ;)

**Cokc:** AND IN WALKED THIS GIRL WITH TIG OL’ BITTIES

**Cokc:** WOOO

**Cokc:** I CAN’T BELIEVE MY EYES

**Cokc:** IN A CONTEST THEY’D WIN FIRST PRIZE

**Cokc:** DOUBLE D GARUNTEE I WAS CHECKIN THEIR SIZE

**Cokc:** THEY’RE LIKE TWO BEACH BALLS IN A SHIRT DIGUISE

**Ishimom:** What are you doing?

**Cokc:** I thought this was getting boring

**Sombruh:** OR EARTH AND MARS, HAVING SOME FUN

**Cokc:** :O

**Yaoi:** WAIT I TAKE IT BACK IT’S LIKE TWO OF THE SUN

**Tiddy:** BUT AT THIS POINT I LET MY MIND RUN AND DRIFTED OFF THINKING ‘BOUT THEM TIG OL’ BITTIES

**Souldier:** Tig ol’ bitties?

**Souldier:** I don’t get it

**Cokc:** God, you’re an idiot Mu-Mu

**Souldier:** Atleast I’m not a slut

**Momdo:** Tig Ol’ Bitties

**Momdo:** Like

**Momdo:** Big Ol’ Titties

**Ishimom:** Mondo why do you know this?

**Ishimom:** We need to have a long talk.

**Momdo:** Ishi no u don’t get it

**Souldier:** OOOOOOHhhh

**Souldier:** Cool

**Cokc:** OH MY GOD YOU STUFF YOUR SHIRT?

**Cokc:** YOUR FAVORITE MARTIAN IN A WORLD OF HURT

**RagingLesbo:** ????

**I have done thy Leon:** Aw, fake ol’ bitties

**TheEggCameFirst:** Wow

**Sombruh:** FAKE OL’ BITTIES

**Cokc:** YOUR BREAKIN MY HEART WITH

**Yaoi:** FAKE OL’ BITTIES

**Cokc:** YOUR CRUSHIN’ MY DREAMS WITH

**I have done thy Leon:** FAKE OL’ BITTIES

**Cokc:** _fake ol’ bittieeees_

**Sherlcokc:** I am confusion

**Hatsune Miku:** Same

**Ishimom:** Mondo explain.

**Momdo:** Naaaah

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** What’s happening?

**Cokc:** BOOBS HAVIN’ A FIESTA

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Oh

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Oh no

**Togami Bottoms:** I’m just as confused as you Togami

**Cokc:** So Chi u got information on class 77’s costumes?

**Sombruh:** Wow that seguey was so sudden it gave me whiplash

**Cokc:** Answer the question dickfart

**Sombruh:** fffffine

**Sombruh:** Hajime wasn’t planning on having a costume, but with enough *ahem*  _ persuasion _ , me and Akane convinced him to go as something

**Sombruh:** He’s a boring ass vampire tho

**ClosetFetishist:** What a fucking normie

**Sombruh:** Chiaki’s the sleepy guys from kirby

**Tiddy:** That

**Tiddy:** iS FUCKING ADORABLE

**RagingLesbo:** Hina ur gay is showing

**Tiddy:** BUT

**Tiddy:** THE SLEEP GUYS FROM KIRBY

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Yeah, yeah, that’s nice and all. But what is Ibuki going as?

**Togami Bottoms:** omg togami ur getting into this what have we done

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Shut up and answer my question before I have something better to do.

**Sombruh:** Ibuki’s going as Tracer in the Ultraviolet skin

**Sombruh:** But she also wanted to go as Tracer in the jet set radio skin

**Sombruh:** So she mixed them into a weird 5-layer costume

**Cokc:** Fuck that sounds like something i would do

**Cokc:** I should’ve done that instead of being lame ass zack and cody

**Cokc:** Oh well

**Souldier:** I will disembowel you in your sleep

**Cokc:** Good luck finding the machete I sleep with every night

**Souldier:** Is it up your vagina? It would certainly fit

**Yaoi:** Oh shit Mukuro u gave me the best idea for a fanfiction

**Cokc:** I should’ve left you at Fenrir

**Souldier:** I should’ve stayed at Fenrir

**Momdo:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Ishimom:** NO FIGHTING! DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME THESE TWO FOUGHT?

**Sombruh:** Yeah, I ate some bomb-ass shepherd pie and Leon and Yasuhiro made out on Genocide’s unconscious body

**Sombruh:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Yaoi:** That was a good day

**Yaoi:** I think

**Hatsune Miku:** I should make more shephard's pie

**I have done thy Leon:** I wanna know everyone’s costumes ;^;

**TheEggCameFirst:** Yeah me too

**Sombruh:** This is taking too long so lightning round

**Sombruh:** Mahiru’s going as April o'Neil from the 90’s TMNT

**Sombruh:** Hiyoko’s going to be actual satan

**Sombruh:** Imposter’s going to be nothing cuz he’s self-conscious or some shit

**Sombruh:** Akane’s going to be Flynn and Sonia’s going to be Rapunzel from Tangled

**Sombruh:** Fuyuhiko’s going as Al Capone and Peko wanted to be Woody the Woodpecker

**Momdo:** Why tf is Peko Woody?

**Sombruh:** Cuz, PECK-o PECK-oyama

**Ishimom:** Niice

**Sombruh:** Hiyoko convinced Mikan to be a fat cow for halloween but I’m sneaking her a mercy costume that Shirogane made

**Sombruh:** Nekomaru’s going to be a robot

**Sombruh:** And TeruTeru’s going to be Meliodas from Seven Deadly Sins

**Sherlcokc:** Accurate

**Sombruh:** I know this is irrelevant but Kaito’s going to be Lebron James

**Ishimom:** Why Lebron James?

**Yaoi:** OH GOD NO

**Yaoi:** WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???

**Ishimom:** What have I done?

**Sombruh:** heh

**Sombruh:** heeheheh

**Sombruh:** HAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**Momdo:** This is a lot less dramatic in text form

**Sombruh:** *more evil laughter*

_ Sombruh invited StarWarts to Gay Baby Jail cuz we BOUT TO DO THE THING _

**StarWarts:** Are we gonna do the thing?

**Sombruh:** We’re gonna do the thing

**StarWarts:** FUCK YEAH WE’RE DOING THE THING

**StarWarts:** *inhales*

**StarWarts:** C’MON AND SLAM

**Sombruh:** AND WELCOME TO THE JAM

**StarWarts:** C’MON AND SLAM

**Sombruh:** IF YOU WANNA JAM

**Sherlcokc:** I require death

**StarWarts:** C’MON AND SLAM

**Sombruh:** AND WELCOME TO THE JAM

_ This goes on for several hundred pages _

Alternate Titles: Peak of marching band season so expect next chapter to be in like 4 months, jk band season ends on the 18th and when it does ill write so many chapters it’ll be like the old days, I know it’s november 2nd but LET ME HAVE THIS ALRIGHT, Hanzo’s a marching band cunt I guess, I wonder how many more ways I can write Hanzo’s a cunt before I give up.

 


	42. I wrote this in school hehueuheueheuhe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chihiro gets a heart attack

Sombruh: Fuck y do my limbs feel numb and my chest hurt?

Togami Bottoms: Uh...that’s not good. Ur probably gunna have a heart attack

Sombruh: I know all those doritoes and mountain dews were gonna catch up someday…

Sombruh: AH SHIT I SHOULD’VE BEEN GREMLIN D.VA WTF WAS I THINKING GOING AS A BOX OF CHEERIOS????

Yaoi: >Hears that they’re having a heart attack

>Worries about halloween costume

Yaoi: -_-

Cokc: I’d do that, I feel

Souldier: I’d dis-embowel u before u ever get a heart attack

Cokc: Goddammit Mukuro I can’t say ONE FUCKING THING WITHOUT THE THREAT OF DISEMBOWELMENT

Soulder: That’s the thing. I alway keep my victims panicked and on-edge, all the time. It wears away on their sanity after months, and then i strike when they’re weak

Cokc: Hah jokes on u I already want to die

Souldier: Make my job easier

Tiddy: Guys can u maybe lighten up?

Sombruh: I should probably give Mikan a call cuz im actually starting to get worried

Momdo: OH MY FUCKING GOD

Ishimom: ???

Momdo: I GOT THE PUN

Momdo: MEEK-AN

Tiddy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Cokc: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHOLEEEEEEE

Sombruh: No im legit worried im inviting her into this chat

ClosetFetishist: That’s the single dumbest decision I’ve heard but ok

_ Sombruh invited Nurse_Mikan to Gay Baby Jail _

Nurse_Mikan: Something wrong?

Sombruh: Uh yeah my limbs are all numb and my chest hurts am I having a heart attack

Nurse_Mikan:...

Nurse_Mikan: Oh my fucking god

Sombruh: ???

Cokc: *under breath* let it be a heart attack pleaaase let it be a heart attack

Ishimom: That’s not very nice, Enoshima.

Cokc: Bitch im junko when was I ever nice?

Sombruh: Ignore those idiots plz tell me

Nurse_Mikan: No offense but you’re a fucking idiot

Sombruh: D:

Cokc: Accurate

Nurse_Mikan: I told you, time and time again, that those are the side-effects of the medicine I gave you

Sombruh: oh

Sombruh: oh my fucking god

Sombruh: Im so sorry

TheEggCameFirst: wow nice one dick lamp

Nurse_Mikan: I hope u flat-line in ur sleep u worthless sack of shit

Momdo: WOAH THERE

Momdo: I’m a shit rooster and even im not that mean

Nurse_Mikan: Sorry ti s hirgkokc sosidsss orsayinfs findjggrd

TheEggCameFirst: Let me guess it was hiyoko the whooole time

TheEggCameFirst: I’ve played that joke before so don’t even attempt

Nurse_Mikan: No reallly it was i swear

Sherlcokc: I don’t believe you

Sherlcokc: Because I’m hanging out with Hiyoko right now, and you’re nowhere to be seen

Nurse_Mikan:...

Nurse_Mikan: Uh smell ya later

Sombruh: DON”T YOU DARE LEAVE 

_ Nurse_Mikan left hahahah  _

Sherlcokc: My job here *puts on sick ass shades* is done

Hatsune Miku: Wait why r u hanging out with Hiyoko

 

Alternate Titles: Heh I wrote and published this in class, Wait shit my english teacher’s suspicious FU CJK, k nvm im clear also hanzo’s a cunt.


	43. aLL OVERWATCH CHARACTERS ARE LIKE SUPER FUCKING GAY GUYSS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title even though overwatch isnt actually mentioned in this story

**Ishimom:** Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

**Ishimom:** You’re all invited to mine and Mondo’s house at 3PM for a huge Thanksgiving celebration!

**Tiddy:** Aw hell yea

**TIddy:** I was hoping someone would make food today

**Momdo:** Yep and so far it smells fuckin delicious so yall better come

**Momdo:** Well, I mean, everyone but Junko

**Ishimom:** Mondo! That’s incredibly rude! 

**Cokc:** Hah jokes on u im flying over-seas for five days

**Cokc:** Besides, if I did come Mukuro would put rat poison in my food

**Souldier:** Oh shit u just gave me the best idea

**Momdo:** Cool beans everyone else is coming right?

**Momdo:** Good

**Sombruh:** And here I am, the best character of all time, my chapter-ly appearance quota has been filled. And I will derail every conversation to make it about me, because I’m the best

**Togami Bottoms:** Calm down there Masaru

**Sombruh:** Who tf is Masaru?

**Togami Bottoms:** Oh, me and Maki have this thing where we talk to abused kids in Hope’s Peak Elementary and try to give them new homes. One of the kids is Masaru, he’s really full of himself but he’s just a big ol’ cinnamon roll

**Sombruh:** K that’s nice and all but y did u reference him knowing I don’t know this kid

**Tiddy:** AWWWWWWW NAEGI THAT’S SO PRECIOUS AND SWEET WHERE COULD I JOIN??

**Ishimom:** That’s indeed very valiant and selfless of you, I would like to join as well!

**Sombruh:** Wait I thought Maki didn’t like kids though? I mean we all know she’s the ultimate assasin.

**Togami Bottoms:** Oh, she sorta likes kids. Besides im pretty sure Kaito talked her into doing that

**Yaoi:** Is that a new ship I smell?

**Yaoi:** Haha jk we all knew Maki wanted some of that Kaito dick from the moment she saw him

**Tiddy:** This information is very unnecessary but ok

**Yaoi:** That’s my middle name bay bee ;3

**Cokc:** Toko ur my idol

**Sherlcokc:** that, my good sir, is gay

**Cokc:** ew

**Yaoi:** Yeah, no

**Sherlcokc:** Ok so u can do it but I cant I see how it is

**Yaoi:** Yeah, I can, especially when it comes to Chihiro

**Sombruh:** OH GOD I THOUGHT I DROWNED THOSE DEMONS BUT THEY KNOW HOW TO SWIM

**Sherlcokc:** We all wanna know just spill the beans

**Tiddy:** Is it Mondo?

**Yaoi:** No, that’s gross, it’s someone fictional

**Ishimom:** My mom?

**Yaoi:** omg Taka but no try again

**Momdo:** Is it the love and affection your parents never gave you?

**Tiddy:** :O

**Cokc:** mmmmm noice burn

**Yaoi:** You can go right to that hole over there and fuck yourself Mondo

**Momdo:** But I have Taka to help me with that

**Yaoi:** Ok now im happy continue

**TheEggCameFirst:** is it a funny version of Amy Schumer?

**I have done thy Leon:** is it my will to live?

**Sherlcokc:** My childhood?

**Hatsune Miku:** My mental stability?

**Momdo:** I bet it’s my potential

**Yaoi:** wow this is actually kind of sad can u guys lighten up a bit?

**Sombruh:** No fuck u

**Yaoi:** Anyway that’s all wrong

**Yaoi:** It 

**Yaoi:** Is 

**Yaoi:** Actually

**Yaoi:** A

**Yaoi:** Huge

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** You better not keep me waiting for long.

**Yaoi:** Throbbing

**Yaoi:** Black

**Yaoi:** Rolly

_ Sombruh kicked Yaoi from Gay Baby Jail because I mean she was askin for it guys _

**TheEggCameFirst:** Yeah, everyone saw that coming

**Sombruh:** I don’t care

**TheEggCameFirst:** So about Thanksgiving dinner…

**Sombruh:** Fuck that black friday steam sale baybeee

**TheEggCameFirst:** I’d rather eat food than play a bajillion video games

**Sombruh:** BOI YOU’RE ASKING FOR A GOOD OL’ STABBING 

**Sombruh:** Dang I wish toko was here so I could ask her for tips

**Soulder:** I’m right here tho???

 

**Alternate Titles:** Don’t blame me blame my chronic video game addiction, I mean I just started playing Cuphead, and Hearthstone, and A Hat in Time, plus there’s my already chronic Overwatch addiction, oh and Pokemon Insurgence (it’s a fan game and it’s fuckin lit), SO THEN BLACK FRIDAY COMES AROUND AND OH  LOOK AT THIS I CAN GET HALF LIFE FOR 99 CENTS UH DUH OF COURSE I’D GET THAT, anyway blame those games for late updates, and Hanzo, Hanzo’s a cunt, oh also, is it just me or am I the only one that feels like Naegi would really like kids?


	44. Hanzo's a virigin cunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I put the hanzo in the chapter title and ull know y, also i didn't proof-read this

 

**I have done thy Leon:** What

**I have done thy Leon:** What if

**I have done thy Leon:** Guys

**Sombruh:** Continue

**I have done thy Leon:** What if god sends gay guys to hell because

**TheEggCameFirst:** Hiro no 

**I have done thy Leon:** Leon listen

**I have done thy Leon:** God sends gay guys to hell becuz satan is in the closet and he needs someone to bring him out

**Tiddy:** Woah calm down there Fukawa

**I have done thy Leon:** But guys come on

**ClosetFetishist:** First no, and second y does he send gay gals to hell then?

**I have done thy Leon:** the bible never said anything about gay gals

**Momdo:** uve never even read the bible tho how do u know?

**Momdo:** Also y are we talking about christianity we’re Japanese??

**I have done thy Leon:** Look i found this comic about it and it was really funny ok

**ClosetFetishist:** I swear to god hiro if u don’t shut ur goddamn mouth im gunna beat the shit outta u

**I have done thy Leon:** 00f

**Togami Bottoms:** Togami pack ur bags were going to vegas

**Togami Bottoms:** oof this isn’t the dms

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Why do you want to go to Vegas?

**ClosetFetishist:** Cuz he knows ull do it ya whipped bitch

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** No one asked for your disgusting opinion.

**ClosetFetishist:** Bitch I’ll fite u come at me

**Sombruh:** *soft gasp*...Junko?

**ClosetFetishist:** No I just ran out of gummy bears

**Togami Bottoms:** So is that a yes to the Vegas thing?

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Why? Answer my question, Naegi.

**Tiddy:** Naegi r u a gambler?

**Momdo:** Strippers and coke?

**Cokc:** If I ever went to vegas it’d be for strippers, coke, and martinis

**Hatsune Miku:** I went there on tour once, trust me it’s not fun

**Cokc:** Were the martinis any good??

**Hatsune Miku:** They were the only good thing

**ClosetFetishist:**  What about strippers and coke?

**Hatsune Miku:** Motherfucker im an international popstar if I do any of that im definitely gonna get bad press

**TheEggCameFirst:** Damn no strippers or coke being a popstar must be boring as shit

**Cokc:** So ur going to finally quit that stupid dream of becoming a punk rock star? :O

**TheEggCameFirst:** Nah im just going to be  the next marilyn manson, that guy can do anything and get away with it

**Cokc:** Oh shit I should do that too

**TheEggCameFirst:** Boi I’ll fight u 

**Cokc:** No need to fight we can work on death metal albums together

**Souldier:** I tried to make a paper mache sword with u in 4th grade and u took out a real sword and almost chopped off my fingers boi working together isn’t in ur vocabulary

**Cokc:** U ate my fruit roll up i had a valid reason

**Sombruh:** Who tf were ur parents jesus fuck

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Before I lose anymore brain cells listening to these idiots, tell me Naegi, why would you want to go to Las Vegas?

**Togami Bottoms:** o my aunt moved there a couple weeks ago and I missed her soo

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** I swear to the Togami Foundation Naegi, why didn’t you say that earlier?

**Sombruh:** he used togami foundation instead of god this is gooold

**Togami Bottoms:** cuz it’s entertaining as fuck to watch u guys fight over why i would want to go to vegas

**Sombruh:** SO U SAYING THAT IN THE CHAT AND NOT IN THE DM’S WASN’T A MISTAKE :O

**Cokc:** oh also since toko’s banned i got a hot tip from her

**Cokc** : She showed me her chihiro x goron erotica and it was v graphic

**Cokc:** Want me to post it?

_ Cheerios left  _ _ Gay Baby Jail ha ha  _

**Cokc:** im still posting it

 **Momdo:** No please

 

_ Sombruh invited Yuri and DropurPantas;) to Untitled Chatroom _

_ Sombruh changed the name of Untitled Chatroom to Leader Meetings _

 

**Yuri:** wtf

**Sombruh:** It’s happened. They know

**DropurPantas;):** Holy shit it did?

**Yuri:** Oh my god…

**Sombruh:** Lets go bois

 

_ To Be Continued _

 

Alternate Titles: There are none


	45. This tooootally won't get old or anything pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off, Happy Christmas :D
> 
> Second of all, since all the characters are going to be in this, there's a list of all of them down below. You don't need to read it, you'd probably be fine without reading it, but it's there for those who want it.
> 
> Third of all, have fun and be safe this holiday season <3

~~Class 78~~

Aoi Asahina: Tiddy

Byakuya Togami: MoreWhippedThanMondo

Celestia Ludenberg: ClosetFetishist

Chihiro Fujisaki: Sombruh

Hifumi Yamada: Otakool

Junko Enoshima: Cokc

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: Ishimom

Kyouko Kirigiri: Sherlcokc

Leon Kuwata: TheEggCameFirst

Makoto Naegi: Togami Bottoms

Mondo Oowada: Momdo

Mukuro Ikusaba: Souldier

Sakura Oogami: RagingLesbo

Sayaka maizono: Hatsune Miku

Touko Fukawa: Yaoi

Yasuhiro Hagakure: IhavedonethyLeon

~~Class 77~~

Akane Owari: Yuri

Byakuya Twogami: Fat

Chiaki Nanami: HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: Baby Gangsta

Gundam Tanaka: TheUltimateFurry

Hinate Hajime: Aho-gay

Hiyoko Saionji: TheUltimateCunt

Ibuki Mioda: Punkrockisn’tdead

Kazuichi Souda: ScreamingMountaindew

Nekomaru Nidai: Thebestcouch

Mahiru Koizumi: Tumblr

Mikan Tsumiki: Potentialyandere

Nagito Komaeda: Hope_Slut

Peko Pekoyama: “Young Master”

Sonia Nevermind: Precious_Angle

Teruteru Hanamura: TheUltimatePervert

~~Class Whatever~~

Kaede Akamatsu: Penis

Angie Yonaga: WestboroBaptistChurch

Gonta Gokuhara: BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?

Himiko Yumeno:  GundhamButMoreAnnoying

K1-B0: DicklessScrapMetal

Kaito Momota: StarWarts

Kirumi Tojo: MomBot5000

Kokichi Oma: DropUrPantas;)

Korekiyo Shinguji: WhoAreYouAgain?

Maki Harukawa: Bitch

Miu Iruma: Mikan2.0

Rantaro Amami: AvocadoBoi

Ryoma Hoshi: SizeDoesn’tMatter

Schuichi Saihara: LameHat

Tenko Chabashira: PinwheelHead

Tsumugi Shirogane: BootlegHatsuneMiku

 

**Cokc:** *lip smack*

**Cokc:** I’m bored

**Souldier:** Good job

**Cokc:** Someone better fucking entertain me

**Momdo:** How bout u f to the u to the fuck off

**Cokc:** Mu-mu get me a glass of water, I’m thirsty

**Souldier:** Thirsty for attention

**Souldier:** And P E N O R S

**Togami Bottoms:** I N A P P R O P R I A T E

_ Sombruh hacked into Gay Baby Jail with Yuri and DropurPantas;) _

**Cokc:** Bout time u fucking came

**Souldier:** heh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_ Sombruh invited Yaoi to Gay Baby Jail _

**Yaoi:** I see the light

_ Sombruh invited KomaruNaegi:3 to Gay Baby Jail\ _

**KomaruNaegi:3** : wat

_ Yuri invited 15 others to Gay Baby Jail _

**Baby Gangsta’:** Ok so the other chatroom wasn’t stupid enough

**"Young Master":** Fuyuhiko don’t be a cunt

**Tiddy:** Oh god it’s a crossover

**IhavedonethyLeon:** OH GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE

**PotentialYandere:** Well fuck u too bud

**TheUltimateCunt:** When did Mikan get so sassy?

**TheUltimateCunt:** I love it

**Souldier:** Bitch no I’m the sass master

**PotentialYandere:** Wanna 1v1?

**Souldier:**  Melee, Final Showdown, Fox only, let’s go

**PotentialYandere:** My house i already got the Gamecube booted

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Oh god the vietnam flashbacks

**Yuri: Everyone** shut the fuck up

**Precious_Angle:** :O   
**Yuri:** Not u bby u can speak

_ DropurPantas;) invited 15 others to Gay Baby Jail _

**Mikan2.0:** _ Please no more chatroom I beg of u _

**PotentialYandere:** Who tf r u?

**Mikan2.0:** WHO TF R U BITCH??

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** Please don’t tell me this is class 77 and 78

**Aho-gay:** Please don’t tell me this is class no-one-gives-a-shit

**Hope_Slut:** My panties

**Hope_Slut:** Are across

**Hope_Slut:** The fucking room

**Aho-gay:** babe blz

**Yaoi:** Aw hell yea keep going

**TheUltimateFurry:** WHO DARES IMPERSONATE THE GREAT GUNDHAM TANAKA? OVERLORD OF ICE AND KEEPER OF THE FOUR DARK DEVAS OF DESTRUCTION? I’LL LET YOU KNOW THAT IMPERSONATION OF DEMONS SUCH AS I WILL RESULT IN ETERNAL DAMNATION IN THE SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL, WHERE YOU WILL WRITHE IN AGONY UNTIL THE ONLY WORDS TO EVER COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH ARE SCREAMS AND THE BEGS FOR MERCY!

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:**...what?

**ScreamingMountaindew:** Babe blz

**LameHat:** woag calm down there daenerys targaryen

**LameHat:** That’s the person with the really long title right? I haven’t watched GoT

**Sherlcokc:**..well this is awkward

**Otakool:** HOW THE FUCK HAVE U NOT WATCHED GoT?

**Otakool:** I NEED TO GET U ON THAT RIGHT NOW

**BootlegHatsuneMiku:** O MY GOD SHUICHI UR DEAD TO ME

**Hatsune Miku:** I feel personally offended

**Sombruh:** EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP

**Sombruh:** WE’RE GOING TO PLAY A GAME WHERE EITHER ME, AKANE, OR KOKICHI WILL REVEAL AN EMBARRASSING SECRET OF SOMEONE, DEPENDING ON THE CLASS

**Sombruh:** IF THAT PERSON’S SUCCESSFULLY FOUND OUT, THEY GET BOOTED OUT THE CHAT

**Sombruh:** IF PEOPLE GET THE ANSWER WRONG EVERYONE IS BOOTED OUT OF ALL CHATROOMS FOREVER

**Cokc:** Is this cuz i leaked that goron porn?

**Yaoi:** U LEAKED MY GORON X CHIHIRO HENTAI??

**Otakool:** HOW DID U FIND MY GORON DOUJINSHI??

**KomaruNaegi:3:** I’m scared

**Otakool:**...I can explain

**JustScrapMetal:** What’s a goron?

**JustScrapMetal:** What’s hentai?

**Yaoi:** Want me to show you?

**MomBot5000:** PRECIOUS BEEB NO

**Sombruh:** LET THE GAMES BEGIN

**Tiddy:** Oh god im scared sakura hold me

**RagingLesbo:** *holds*

**TheUltimatePervert:** I’m scared too! Hold me Miu!

**Penis:** Mcfuckoff

**Mikan2.0:** U tell em babe

**Sombruh:** the wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** spinning

**Sombruh:** spinning

**DropurPantas;):** Ooooh, this one’s juicy

**PinwheelHead:** _ suspense  _

**DropurPantas;):** This person made out with a painting and to get the paint off their face they made out with a statue

**StarWarts:** First person comes to mind is Miu

**Mikan2.0:** nah i got kaede for that

**Penis:** Babe blz

**TheUltimatePervert:** That person has to be lonelier than me on a friday night

**Bitch:** Ryouma?

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** I can’t even reach  the lips of a statue

**Souldier:** A garden gnome is technically a statue

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Get down here and fight me

**LameHat:**...ya know Korekiyo’s been suspiciously quiet

**WhoAreYouAgain?:** So has half the entire chat dumbass

**Tumblr:** It’s probably a male

**Tumblr:** Men are so desperate for affection nowadays

**PinwheelHead:** PREECH

**Sherlcokc:** Guys c’mon it’s so obvious

**Mikan2.0** : This doesn’t involve u so stfu

**JustScrapMetal:** I wonder who it could be…

**Sherlcokc:** Are you fucking serious?

**WhoAreYouAgain?:** Is it Angie? She is an artist

**WestboroBaptistChurch:** wow way to put me on the hot seat korekidick

**WestboroBaptistChurch:** way to stab my back kork

**WestboroBaptistChurch:** way to fucking slam a piece of wood over my head koriander

**LameHat:** Final verdict! It’s Angie

**DropurPantas;):** correct, and sad, shameful acts Angie

**WestboroBaptistChurch:** WELL YA KNOW WHAT IT’S NOT MY FAULT ATUA PAINTS SUCH SEXY PICTURES!

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Are you even listening to yourself? You should be ashamed for being such a pitiful excuse for a human.

**Fat:** Sure, keep talking “MoreWhippedThanMondo”. I’m sure you’re free of shameful secrets

_ Sombruh muted WestboroBaptistChurch _

**Sombruh:** Oh also when u get found out u get eliminated 

**TogamiBottoms:** HOLY WHISKERS I DIDN’T KNOW U COULD MUTE PEOPLE

**Fat:**...

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Aw hell yea this one’s mine

**Yaoi:** *prays*

**KomaruNaegi:3:** I thought u were an atheist

**Yaoi:** Not anymore after hearing bout Atua

**LameHat:** Not another one

**Sombruh:** This person wears really sexy attire on purpose all the time for attention

**Momdo:** Taka??

**Ishimom:** How is a school uniform sexy?

**Momdo:** It’s sexy when ur wearing it ;)

**TheUltimatePervert:** *takes down notes*

**Tiddy:** It’s Sakura!   
**IhavedonethyLeon:** Nope, Leon’s punk rock attire is fucking lit

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** IF I WASN’T A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL I WOULD SAY I AGREE

**AvocadoBoi:** I feel like everyone’s just going to say their significant other’s name

**PotentialYandere:** _ whatever gave u that idea? _

**Sherlcokc:** since we’re doing that, final verdict’s sayaka

**Sherlcokc:** I mean have u seen those fucking short skirts?

**Sherlcokc:** Not like im complaining

**Sombruh:** DING DING DING U GOT THAT RIGHT

**Hatsune Miku:** babe u betrayed me y

_ Sombruh muted Hatsune Miku _

**Sherlcokc:** Sorry babe

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning…

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** Oh boy

**Yuri:** This person watches minion porn and jerks off to it

**ScreamingMountaindew:** WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??

**Baby Gangsta’:** That’s shit u wouldn’t find on the deep web and I know from experience

**Mikan2.0:** kinky

**Yaoi:** It’s not me I swear

**PotentialYandere:**...I mean Hiyoko kind of looks like a minion

**Fat:** Valid point

**TheUltimateCunt:** MIKAN U CUNT

**Tumblr:** This time ill excuse u calling someone else a cunt

**PotentialYandere:** Looks like  the turns have tabled

**TheUltimateCunt:** HEY TERUTERU LOOKS LIKE A MINION TOO

**TheUltimatePervert:** I guess we have more in common than we thought ;)

**WhoAreYouAgain?:** So you don’t deny it?

**TheUltimatePervert:** I watch minion porn but I don’t jerk off to it

**Precious_Angle:** I mean the first person that came to mind was Nagito

**Hope_Slut:** I only jerk off to hope and hinata thank u very much

**Yaoi:** *takes notes*

**Aho-gay:** Well since Sonia’s all foreign and stuff watching minion porn would be both arousing and informative

**Yuri:** DID U JUST ACCUSE THE MOST PERFECT CINNAMON ROLL OF SUCH A THING??

**Sombruh:** Ur not supposed to contribute dumbass

**LameHat:** Well whoever does watch and jerk off to minion porn must be both exceedingly lonely and horny, and since teru teru is out…

**Aho-gay:** Mikan

**Hope_Slut:** Mikan

**Baby Gangsta’:** Mikan

**"Young Master":** Mikan

**Fat:** Mikan

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** MIKAN! FINAL VERDICT

**Yuri:** Sorry Mikan but they’re all correct

**TheUltimateCunt:** Hah! What a lonely, gross skank!   
**PotentialYandere:** Junko join me

**PotentialYandere:** So we can both kill everyone together

**Cokc:** Ew gross don’t touch me plebian

**PotentialYandere:** ;~;

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Did someone say plebian?

_ Sombruh muted PotentialYandere _

**Additional titles:** woo this one’s gunna be a doozie, no one asked for this but i still did it, cuz fuck u that’s why, there will be more until everyone’s muted, Hanzo’s a scantily-clad, minion porn-watching, painting predator cunt.


	46. This tooootally won't get old or anything pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spacing's weird in this one and I couldn't fix it ;^;

 

**Tiddy:** Ok this used to be super funny and stuff but now I’m actually worried they’ll talk about me

**Sherlcokc:** I’m sure u have nothing to worry about

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** _ Oh _

**Sombruh:** This person unironically enjoyed and re-read the OWO What’s this? Copypasta

**Togami Bottoms:**  KOMARU!

**KomaruNaegi:3:** WHAT WHY ME??

**Momdo:** She does have that cat mouth emoji thing

**KomaruNaegi:3** : I’M NOT EVEN IN THIS  CLASS!   
**StarWarts:** That’s exactly what someone in this class would say!

**Yaoi:** HOW DARE YOU? MY QUEEN WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING!

**Yaoi:** It’s probably hifumi with all his fetishes

**Otakool:** I’ve never heard of that copypasta in my life

**StarWarts:** That’s exactly what someone who has heard of that copypasta would say!

**I have done thy Leon:** I like this guy

**Aho-gay:** Who else has really abhorrent fetishes?

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** Celeste

**ClosetFetishist:** Excuse me, I’m more more of bondage and whipping kinda gal

**PinwheelHead:** This is getting uncomfortably personal

**Sherlcokc:** Junko has really weird fetishes

**Cokc:** mmm afraid not, my fetishes are a little bit more...despair-inducing

**Souldier:** I looked at her files and I threw up

**Tiddy:** Only other person that weird is...Toko!

**KomaruNaegi:3:** NO WAY TOKI WOULD EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

**PinwheelHead:** AWWWW SHE CALLED HER TOKI MY HEART

**Yaoi:** No, it’s alright, I fess up, final verdict is me

**KomaruNaegi:3:** B E T R A Y A L

**Sombruh:** Correct a mundo!

_ Sombruh muted Yaoi _

**KomaruNaegi:3:** ;-;

**Tumblr:** Aw it’s ok, Toko can still hear you at least!

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Toki y

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** OOOh, this is a good one

**DropurPantas;):** This person has wet dreams about murdering billion of people

**JustScrapMetal:** I wish I could say Kokichi…

**Bitch:** Same

**Cokc:** Whoever it is hit me up for a good time ;)

**Souldier:** Bad Junko, don’t make me get the spray bottle

**Cokc:** *hiss*

**AvocadoBoi:** Uh is it Maki?

**Bitch:** _ Do you want to die _

**Souldier:** THAT WAS MY LINE YOU CUNT

**Bitch:** Who are you?

**“Young Master”:** Ladies, calm down

**Souldier:** This doesn’t involve u midget-fucker

**Baby Gangsta’:** ALRIGHT WHO HERE ACTUALLY WANTS TO DIE?

**MomBot5000:** Everyone shut the fuck up before I get the tranq gun

**Sherlcokc:** Eyyyy

**Bitch:**...Yes mom

**Souldier:** Yea whatever

**MomBot5000:** Good, now let’s talk about who has wet dreams about mass-genocide

**LameHat:** Ryoma seems like he hates a lot of people

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** I’m too busy wishing I was dead

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** YOU TOO?

**Penis:** Um, is it Korekiyo

**StarWarts:** Korkdork ya there?

**Penis: @WhoAreYouAgain?** Do you have wet dreams about genocide?

**WhoAreYouAgain?:** What? Heavens no!

**StarWarts:** That’s exactly what someone who has wet dreams about genocide would say!

**Bitch:** Kaito please

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Hello everyone, Gonta here! Sorry if Gonta miss out on a lot, Gonta’s busy catching tiny bugs :D

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** What did Gonta miss?

**MomBot5000:** Gonta for the love of all that is good and holy don’t scroll up

**Penis:** Protecc the precious child

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Gonta’s confused, but Gonta trust Kirumi and Kaede

**StarWarts:** A shot in the dark, but is it Tsumugi?

**Bitch:** Kaito out of all the things you’ve said that has to be the stupidest

**BootlegHatsuneMiku:** No use hiding it now I guess

**Bitch:** Wait

**StarWarts:** HAH

**StarWarts:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**Cokc:** Tsumugi wanna collab?

**Ishimom:** I’m very disturbed.

**Aho-gay:** Mikan came over to my house to ask the address for Junko’s should I tell her?

**MomBot5000:** NOOOOOO

_ Sombruh muted BootlegHatsuneMiku _

**Aho-gay:** I had to she threatened to skin me alive

**Souldier:** I’m moving see ya later bastards

**Cokc:** Eh I can handle it

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Hope_Slut:** So we’re just ignoring that there are two blood-thirsty genociders and a yandere ok

**Yuri:** I knew that my nickname was accurate! Everyone doubted me but see who’s laughing now!   
Sombruh: Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** Unfortunately this one’s not sexual

**Mikan2.0:** fugg

**Penis:** We already had Tsumugi’s why this

**DropurPantas;):** This person watched the Bee Movie, cried like a little bitch cuz of the ending, and claimed they watched crime-dramas and pixar movies instead.

**AvocadoBoi:** Answer’s obvious, Gonta

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Gonta’s never heard of the Bee Movie, but Gonta wants to see it now! :D

**“Young Master”:** But...your username…

**Bitch:** Kokichi changed ours

**Bitch:** You think I chose this name by my own volition?

**“Young Master”:** Fair enough, didn’t get to choose mine either, but why don’t you change it?

**Bitch:**...Shut fuck

**LameHat:** I have a feeling it was Himiko

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying** : I’ve never seen the bee movie tho

**PinwheelHead:** Typical degenerate male behavior! Get accused of something and automatically blame it on a woman!  
 **PinwheelHead:** Besides, I plan on never letting Himiko touch that garbage!  
 **Tumblr:** Yes preach!  
 **BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** If Himiko’s never watched Bee Movie, then Gonta and her should watch it together! Can we do that, Kirumi?  
 **MomBot5000:** How can I say no to this cinnamon roll?

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** :D

**PinwheelHead:** NOOOOOOOO   
**LameHat:** Ok Tenko calm down, I was only trying to do my job as a detective

**Cokc:** Ya know gonta could slaughter millions and no one would blame him

**Cokc:** Just an observation

**Bitch:** _ Do you wanna die? _

**Souldier:** Please kill her

**StarWarts:** Wait, maybe Tenko was onto something

**StarWarts:** (no offense) Shuichi is the biggest pussy, and just a couple of days ago I saw him with puffy red eyes and tear tracks, and he said he was watching crime drama!   
**LameHat** : Kaito I told u never to tell anyone u betrayed me

**Bitch:** Holy shit Kaito ur on a roll

**Bitch:** Final verdict Shuichi

**Ishimom:** You could say he’s

**Ishimom:** On a Maki-roll!

**Bitch:** _ Do you wanna die? _

**Momdo:** **_do YOU wanna fucking die?_ **

**Tiddy:** I legit don’t think Ishimaru would get the implication in that he’s too precious

**DropurPantas;):** Unfortunately correct

**LameHat:** ;-;

_ Sombruh muted LameHat _

**Bitch:** U know what kaito im actually kind of proud

**StarWarts:** :D

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Toko messaged me and said she ships it

**Cokc:** Fuck this stupid bitch Mikan won’t stop following and stalking me what do i do

**Bitch:** Kill her

**Souldier:** Disembowel her

**Baby Gangsta’:** Torture her and shoot her family

**Tiddy:** Maybe chill?

**Cokc:** All good suggestions

**Ishimom:** There are a disturbing amount of criminals in our school.

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** Another one for me? Honoured

**DropurPantas;):** This person has incestuous fantasies

**TheUltimatePervert:** Kinky

**ScreamingMountaindew:** Gross

**JustScrapMetal:** Korky dorky

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Korey in the house

**Bitch:** Konk

**StarWarts:** Shingucci

**Penis:** kick em in the shin...guji

**PinwheelHead:** Final verdict

**WhoAreYouAgain?:** I realize it’s not much of a secret but maybe chill?

**TheEggCameFirst:** No one’s going to miss u

**WhoAreYouAgain?:** ;-;

_ Sombruh muted WhoAreYouAgain? _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** oh it’s my turn

**Sombruh:** This person bought a body pillow with a “pocket pussy”, and then sold it... _ used _

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** As a respectful owner of multiple anime body pillows  _ what the actual fuck _

**Togami Bottoms:** For some reason I thought of Kirigiri, cuz she’s dating Hatsune Miku and all

**Sherlcokc:** What the hell Naegi

**Sherlcokc:** Maki help me exterminate him

**Bitch:** Aw hell yeah murder

**I have done thy Leon:** mmmm Celeste?

**ClosetFetishist:** Haha, did you guys hear something? It sounded like a really annoying, easily squashable piece-of-shit mosquito.

**Fat:** Not helping ur case here Celeste

**ClosetFetishist:**  No, I didn’t do...that.

**TheUltimatePervert:** I’ve done that before

**ScreamingMountainDew:** Gross, even I’m not that lonely

**Tumblr:** I feel like only a gross male would do something like that

**PinwheelHead:** I feel like me and you would be really good friends

**Tumblr:** Hell yeah

**Cokc:** I mean Leon fucked a baseball bat one time sooo

**TheEggCameFirst:** I don’t even watch anime 

**Cokc:** _ Chihiro never said it was an anime bodypillow _

**TheEggCameFirst:** Besides I’m gay so yeah no

**Sherlcokc:** That means it’s a straight male, which only leaves Hifumi, final verdict!

**Otakool:** I would say I’m embarrassed but I’m not even that shamed I’m owning this

**PinwheelHead:** Disgusting degenerate…

_ Sombruh muted Otakool _

**Tiddy:** How come we didn’t see that earlier?

**RagingLesbo:** I’m pretty sure all of us just forgot he existed

**ClosetFetishist:** Good riddance

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** OWO what’s this?

**Yuri:** This person got so drunk one time they kissed who they thought was their significant other, but instead it was a cuckoo clock and they got hit in the face with the bird and said “kinky”

**Mikan2.0:** Kinky

**“Young Master”:** I remember that, it was from that party after that one laser tag match with class 78

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** That night was the closest I ever got to getting laid

**“Young Master”:** Haha no u immediately passed out after half a shot

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** I’m a lightweight ok

**TheUltimateCunt:** Hah fucking loser

**“Young Master”:** Anyway it was Gundham

**ScreamingMountaindew:** >TFW u get mistaken for a fucking clock

**TheUltimateFurry:** Strange, I do not recall such events.

**Sombruh:** Well too bad

_ Sombruh muted TheUltimateFurry _

**Ishimom:** How do you know all this?

**Sombruh:** I am god.

**Momdo:** Boi u can’t even lift 30 pounds on ur own

**Sombruh:** I am a demi-god

**Sombruh:** Fuck u

 

**Alternate Titles:** These are so much fun to do, I choose all these at random, Gonta’s the preciousest been, wait who’s more precious Taka or Gonta?, I’m going to stay up all night thinking about that F U C C, Hanzo would stomp on Gonta’s bugs and rip up Taka’s homework cuz he’s that much of a cunt, actually he’s not that much of a cunt, only satan would do that, Good job Hanzo you’re better than satan.


	47. This tooootally won't get old or anything pt.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> moist sounds

**Baby Gangsta’:** Oh boy who’ll be next

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** Ugh do I have to?

**Yuri:** This person drew porn of three ladies in their class because he needed to “be in character” for something

**ScreamingMountainDew:**...Is there even any question?

**TheUltimatePervert:** Don’t look at me I can’t even draw!   
**StarWarts:** That’s exactly what someone who can  draw would say!

**Hope_Slut:** Akane never said the drawing were good

**Yuri:** Oh no they were incredible, like pixar-level incredible

**Aho-gay:** I mean Chiaki is into the anime stuff

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** No  I’m not

**TheUltimateCunt:** Well they said they had to stay in character, so it’s probably someone who cosplays or disguises a lot

**Tumblr:** And they’re probably a male too

**Baby Gangsta’:** Twogami issat you?

**Fat:** What? No!

**StarWarts:** That’s exactly what someone who...yeah u get the point

**ScreamingMountaindew:** He  _ is  _ the ultimate imposter

**Fat:**...Listen, I was disguised as Ryota, and he does this shit all the time

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** WHO TF IS RYOTA?

**AvocadoBoi:** Yeah I’ve never heard of him

**Fat:** It’s a long story

**“YoungMaster”:** Final Verdict

_ Sombruh muted Fat _

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** I’m glad that imposter is gone, he could never live up to the  _ real _ Byakuya Togami.

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person likes to  play DND online while watching Steven Universe

**Tiddy:** That’s not that embarrassing

**Tiddy:** Although it could be depending on the person…

**Momdo:** I walked in on Taka playing DND one time

**Ishimom:** Yes, while I do enjoy a nice round of Dungeons and Dragons every once in a while, I never do it online. And besides, I have never heard of Steven Universe before.

**TheUltimateCunt:** Fucking nerd

**Tumblr:** Hiyoko please

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Hell yeah dude we should get together and play DND

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Me and Miu haven’t started a new thing yet and we’re looking for new players

**Ishimom:** Indeed! I think it would be a great use of time and an incredible bonding experience!

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Whoever the person with the secret is hmu

**Momdo:** I didn’t even have time to be angry w ut

**ClosetFetishist:** Let’s stay on track

**Souldier:** I know Junko plays DND, but I don’t know bout SU

**Cokc:** Shut the fuck up mumu

**I have done thy Leon:** I did see her humming the SU theme under her breathe one time…

**Cokc:** I said  _ shut the fucking fuck up mumu _

**JustScrapMetal:** Suspicious...very suspicious

**Souldier:** So Junko, you’re saying that if I go to your history right now I  _ won’t  _ find mountains of SU porn

**Cokc:** I’ll cut off your fingers and stuff them down your throat before you even click the mouse

**Souldier:**...yeah, final verdict

**Sombruh:** _ Sweet sweet revenge _

**Bitch:** I like ur style

**AvocadoBoi:** Tbh I would’ve done that too

**Baby Gangsta’:** Hell yeah boii

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Junko’s...not the nicest tbh

**Cokc:** Oh the despair

**Cokc:** _ The utter despair _

**Cokc:** I’m touching myself to this

**Mikan2.0:** **kinky**

_ Sombruh deleted Cokc from Gay Baby Jail _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** Oof

**Yuri:** This person has fantasies about Nekomaru dominating them and...yah know...yeah

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** _ oh _

**Penis:** kinky

**Thebestcouch:**...OH

**“Young Master”:** uh who here’s sexually frustrated?

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Me! Me! Me!

**Tumblr:** Wow, that was easy

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Hey I never said anything bout being dominated

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** In fact I wanna be dom, or at least a power bottom

**Mikan2.0:** Hell yeah, high five!

**TheUltimatePervert:** I’ll let u be top just  _ please someone have sex with me _

**Tumblr:** Ugh, typical male move

**PinwheelHead:** YAAASSSS

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** I’ll pay u never to say yasss ever again

**PinwheelHead:** But ur broke…

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** Never said I’ll pay u in money ;3

**Mikan2.0:** Does this count as prostitution if so im in

**TheUltimatePervert:** No offense Nekomaru but muscles aren’t my thing

**Thebestcouch:** NONE TAKEN…???

**“Young Master”:**...so who else is sexually frustrated?

**Tumblr:** Just mute me now I can’t handle the embarrassment

_ Sombruh muted Tumblr _

**TheUltimateCunt:** MAHIRU??? HOW COULD U??? ;~;

**PinwheelHead:** >:’O YOU TRAITOR

**Thebestcouch:** HOW TF DO U THINK I FEEL?

**Penis:** The plot thickens

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** Please no more

**Yuri:** This person has a petting fetish

**PinwheelHead:** OOOO, HIMIKO HAS ONE OF THOSE! AND IT’S JUST THE CUTEST LITTLE THING  <3

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** Tenko plz

**Sombruh:** Great, there goes Himiko’s secret

**Hope_Slut:** Hajime no, don’t do this

**Aho-gay:** I’m sorry 

**Aho-gay:** It’s Komaeda, final verdict

**Hope_Slut:** Eh I can’t get mad at u

_ Sombruh muted Hope_Slut _

**Aho-gay:** Tbh  he melts into a puddle whenever i touch his head

**Bitch:** That’s actually kind of cute???? What the fuck????

**StarWarts:** U trying to tell me something maki roll? ;D

**Bitch:** Die

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):**  This  _ person  _ cried when they couldn’t understand an internet meme

**Penis:** I feel terrible for saying this but

**Penis:** Gonta?

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Gonta would never cry over not understanding something! Instead, Gonta try his best to understand!   
**Tiddy:** That was actually really profound

**Souldier:** I feel like we should all learn a thing or two from Gonta

**Aho-gay:** He’s the Bob Ross of bugs

**AvocadoBoi:** Um, Ryoma doesn’t seem too into internet memes

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Bitch what

**Penis:** Name the best meme to ever live, if u are well-versed in memes this shouldn’t be too much of a problem, right?

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Turkish Man Screams Meow at an Egg for 10 Minutes

**StarWarts:** Dang

**StarWarts:** He’s good

**Penis:** K1-B0, what’s the freshest meme out  right now?

**JustScrapMetal:** Uh, Grumpy Cat?

**Baby Gangsta’:** Ud get shanked if u said that in my place

**ClosetFetishist:** *Slams hands on table* FINAL VERDICT LOCK ‘EM UP

_ Sombruh muted JustScrapMetal _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person fucked a bagel

**TheUltimatePervert:** Kinky

**Mikan2.0:** Kinky

**Mikan2.0:** :O

**TheUltimatePervert:** Eyo eyo eyo eyo

**Souldier:** Answer’s obvious

**Souldier:** It was none other than Hina!   
**Tiddy:** What?! Why me?

**Souldier:** Your Runescape username, duh

**Souldier:** “BagleFucker69”   
**Tiddy:** First off, bagels are fucking terrible

**Tiddy:** Secondly, my username was “DonutLoverXOXO” 

**Souldier:** Shit I’ve been found out

**Souldier:** Gotta blast 

**RagingLesbo:** Ur not going anywhere  >:(

**Momdo:** I feel like Makoto would fuck a bagel…

**Togami Bottoms:** Wot y

**KomaruNaegi:3:** That explains the shredded-up bagel in ur room

**Togami Bottoms:** **_WHEN HAVE WE EVER HAD BAGELS IN OUR HOUSE KOMARU_ **

**KomaruNeagi:3:** Just pullin ur leg :P

**AvocadoBoi:** I feel like Ryoma would fuck a bagel...nah, the hole would be too big

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** _ Get down here and fight me _

**ClosetFetishist:** Hey Leon shoved a baseball bat up his ass one time, wouldn’t be weird if he fucked a bagel too

**I have done thy Leon:** That would explain his more frequent visits to the bakery…

**TheEggCameFirst:**...

**I have done thy Leon:** Leon hun instead of fucking objects u could fuck me

**TheEggCameFirst:** Bagels don’t make fun of my inability to last more than 5 minutes ;-;

**I have done thy Leon:** ^ Final verdict

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I FEEL LIKE I’M SEEING SOMETHING I SHOULDN’T BE SEEING

**Sombruh:** Y do u think I’m doing this?

_ Sombruh muted TheEggCameFirst _

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh** : Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person has a fursona

**Sherlcokc:** 00f

**Ishimom:** What’s a fursona?

**Momdo:** No

**Souldier:** Junko had a fursona

**PinwheelHead:** No one cares about Junko 

**Aho-gay:** Mikan does

**Togami Bottoms:** Celeste showed me her fursona

**ClosetFetishist:** Not like I keep it secret, you all saw it one faithful day

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Toko sent me a lenny face I’m C O N C E R N E D

**ClosetFetishist:** However, I happen to know someone else’s fursona

**ClosetFetishist:** Here’re a hint:

**ClosetFetishist:** It’s Byakuya

**Sherlcokc:** Tbh Naegi would still be thirsty for more hints

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** I will find you Taeko Yasuhiro, and I will make my men skin you alive.

**Togami Bottoms:** Don’t be angry, Togami, I’ll still love you no matter how weird your kinks are  <3

**MoreWhippedThanMondo:** I never said I derived sexual pleasure from it…

_ Sombruh muted MoreWhippedThanMondo _

**Sombruh:** Fun fact, his fursona’s named “Nyakuya”

**Tiddy:** Pun level 1000

  
**Alternate Titles:** I misspelled Byakuya’s name as Nyakuya one time and couldn’t stop laughing so here we are now,  _ The plot thiccens, _ this is going to take a while oh jeez, Hanzo probably has a fursona and that fursona’s probably also a cunt.


	48. This tooootally won't get old or anything pt.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeet

 

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** This person is enjoying this more than I or Chihiro am

**Mikan2.0:** Kinky?

**Penis:** Uh...Maaaaki?

**Bitch:** No I just think this is stupid

**I have done thy Leon:** That’s exactly what someone who’s enjoying this more than Chihiro or Kokichi would say!

**StarWarts:** No

**StarWarts:** That’s my line

**StarWarts:** Stop

**ScreamingMountaindew:** I personally find this to be the best experience of my life

**TheUltimateCunt:** That’s actually really sad. Like legit I can’t even insult u that’s rlly sad

**TheUltimateCunt:** Psyche get a life u worthless sack of  shit ;3

**ScreamingMountaindew:** ;~;

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** sad reacts

**PinwheelHead:** Is it uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**Penis:** Ryomama?

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** I’d rather die than continue this and that’s not even a joke eyo eyo eyo

**Souldier:** EYYYYYY B)

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** I’m using my magic to scout out the traitor right now!

**PinwheelHead:** Yeah you go Himiko!  (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ

**Baby Gangsta’:** Does...does she actually believe that Himiko’s magic is real?

**PinwheelHead:** Shut up u degenerate male!  >:(

**“Young Master”:** Be nice Fuyuhiko

**Baby Gangsta’:** Jeez, whatever mom 

**Sherlcokc** : I’m getting serious edgy teen vibes from this guy

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** Nyeeeh! Everyone be quiet! I found the traitor!

**PinwheelHead:** I bet it’s a dumb degenerate male

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** It’s y-you Tenko! Final verdict without a doubt!

**PinwheelHead:** What?! Himiko how could u suspect me?  （πーπ）

**DropurPantas;):** Well Himiko’s right

**Bitch:** Can u stop using those dumb emojis? They’re annoying

**PinwheelHead:** But they’re so cute! (*  >ω<)┌(メ▼▼)┘┗(^o^　)┓三(つ >ω●)つ

**TheUltimateCunt:** :O They ARE cute!

_ Sombruh muted PinwheelHead _

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** This person loves Abba more than their significant other

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** DING DING DING IT’S  KAZUICHI

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** yeah, no mistake about it

**Aho-gay:** Sorry dude but ur the only one  here who unironically likes Abba

**ScreamingMountaindew:** WHAT?! WHERE DID U GET THAT IDEA?!   
**TheUltimateCunt:** Cuz ur the biggest pussy! (*＾∀ﾟ)ъ

**ScreamingMountaindew:** I LIKE ABBA  BUT NOT MORE THAN GUNDHAM!

**Sherlcokc:** Nah, Kazuichi’s right. I saw him help Gundham carry a dog with diarrhea

**Momdo:** Holy shit that’s true love right there

**Momdo:** Wait

**TheUltimateCunt:** I wonder who it could be... <(¬＿¬<) 

**Sherlcokc:** Don’t act dumb Hiyoko

**TheUltimateCunt:** (ಠ.ಠ) Why would I act dumb? Or maybe all that detective work finally turned your brains to liquid (人◕ω◕)

**Sherlcokc:** I saw u go to the store to buy limited-edition signed Abba CD

**TheUltimateCunt:** That doesn’t prove anything! That just shows that I love Abba as much as the next guy! ⊂(・▽・⊂)

**Penis:** God these emojis are getting old

**Sherlcokc:** I interviewed Mahiru that day, and she told me you almost ran her over once u found out about the Abba CD

**TheUltimateCunt:** (ﾟAﾟ;)

**Baby Gangsta’:** What a terrible fucking thing to do, final verdict!

**TheUltimateCunt:** ☆=(ゝω･)/ Fuck all of you!

_ Sombruh muted TheUltimateCunt _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person once told me a joke so dirty that it made a passerby throw up

**Ishimom:** I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was Mondo.

**Momdo:** Fair enough

**Tiddy:** Whoever it is...can u PM me the joke?

**RagingLesbo:** Yeah no, it was me

**Mikan2.0:**...what was the joke?

**RagingLesbo** : What does an 80 year old woman have in between her legs that a young woman doesn’t?

**ScreamingMountaindew:** I have my barf bag ready

**RagingLesbo:** Her tits

_ Sombruh muted RagingLesbo _

**Mikan2.0** : HAH

**Mikan2.0:** A CLASSIC

**Souldier:** Wow the person who threw up must’ve been a little fucking bitch

**“Young Master”:** Ikr

**Tiddy:** That was sick but not  _ that  _ sick

**ScreamingMountaindew:** It made me throw up…

**Bitch** : I found the little bitch

**ScreamingMountaindew:** (TдT)

**MomBot5000:** S TOP

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** Do I have to?

**Yuri:** This person has to snuggle something or else they can’t go to bed

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-KAZUICHI

**ScreamingMountaindew:** WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! IM NOT THAT BIG OF A LITTLE  BITCH!

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I SAW U SUCKING ON UR THUMB THE OTHER DAY U LITTLE ASS BITCH

**ScreamingMountaindew:** THAT’S CUZ IT WAS BLEEDING

**Baby Gangsta’:** CUZ OF UR LONG ASS TEETH IS WHY

**ScreamingMountaindew:** FROM ACCIDENTALLY HITTING IT WITH A WRENCH JESUS CHRIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

**MomBot5000:** Children, behave

**Togami Bottoms:** U guys r such dicks to Kazuichi jeez

**ScreamingMountaindew:** ;~;

**Bitch:** At least he’s using normal emojis instead of those abominations

**“Young Master”:** I’m assuming that the person who has this secret is also a big ol’ cinnamon bun

**“Young Master”:** So we know Fuyuhiko isn’t on the list

**Baby Gangsta’:** Hey! (｀Д´)

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** GODDAMMIT NOT U TOO FUYUHIKO

**Aho-gay:** Idk Chiaki is a cinnamon roll

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** nibba i fell asleep mountain-climbing one time

**Momdo:** WOAH THERE

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** What? It’s technically not a racial slur

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** W O A H T H E R E

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** ok yeah that sounded incredibly racist ill stop

**Aho-gay:** The only other cinnamon roll here is Sonia

**Yuri:** Damn right  >:)

**Aho-gay** :...sonia?

**Souldier:** **@Precious_Angle** do u cuddle things before u fall asleep?

**Precious_Angle:** Yes, isn’t that something most people usually do?

**“Young Master'’:** Final verdict^

**TheUltimatePervert:** You can cuddle me before you fall asleep ;)

**Precious_Angle:** No thank you, I have Akane for that  <3

**Yuri:** Hell yea  <3

_ Sombruh muted Precious_Angle _

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Aw, Gonta find that so cute! :’)

**Ishimom:** That was oddly wholesome, wasn’t it?

**MomBot5000:** *Puts Sonia and Akane on the Protecc list*

**Sombruh:** Stop feeling good no

**Sombruh:** Feel bad  >:(

**Togami Bottoms:** It’s hard to feel bad with something so wholesome  <3

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning 

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person has sharp hair

**Tiddy:**...that’s it?

**Sombruh:** That’s all I got

**I have done thy Leon:** Quick who’s the plainest person in this class?

**ClosetFetishist:** Komaru and Makoto

**ClosetFetishist:** And as Toko told me...much too many times… that Komaru’s hair is very soft

**Togami Bottoms** : Do u know how hard it is to style a fucking ahoge

**Aho-gay:** I KNOW RIGHT???

**Togami Bottoms:** The amount of hairspray needed to keep that fucker straight makes it also incredibly dangerous

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** But...Gonta heard that hairspray very bad for environment! D:

**MomBot5000:** _ Delete Makoto _

**Ishimom:** The Final Verdict is Makoto Naegi!   
_ Sombruh muted Togami Bottoms _

**I have done thy Leon:** Jeez a lot of people’ve been deleted

**I have done thy Leon:** It feels kinda empty （◞‸◟）

**Bitch:** S T OP

 

**Alternate Titles:** I just discovered Reol and oHY MY GOD HER VOICE IS SO MMMMMMMMMMMMM, I’ve been listening to her cover of Hibikase while writing this and it’s SO FUCKINGG GOOD, Reol could step on me and I’d thank her, God im such a weeb, Hanzo probably hates Reol and that makes him a biggggg cunt


	49. This tooootally won't get old or anything pt.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yea same

 

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning 

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person wears fake-ass extensions

**Souldier:** I’m kinda tempted to say Kirigiri…

**Sherlcokc:**...are you fucking serious?

**Tiddy:** Yeah it’s so obviously Hagakure! Have you seen his hair? No way that’s natural!

**I have done thy Leon:** Hey! I don’t use extensions!

**I have done thy Leon:** But now that u said it, imagine how cool I’d look with extensions...

**Bitch:** Ur a fucking idiot

**I have done thy Leon:** I know : <

**Sherlcokc:** r we really this fucking dumb? It’s celeste

**ClosetFetishist:** Yeah no she’s right ya’ll are stupid

**Momdo:** So final verdict

_ Sombruh muted ClosetFetishist _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** This person commissioned Yamada and Celeste to draw fucked-up porn

**StarWarts:** GOd FUCKING DAMMIT

**StarWarts:** I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE PoRN

**Mikan2.0:** Bitches will always be kinky, Kaito

**Mikan2.0:** Always

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:**...What is porn?

**Mikan2.0:** Wanna see?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**MomBot5000:** nO000

**MomBot5000:** PROTECC THE CHILD

**Bitch:** #proteccthechild2k18

**AvocadoBoi:** Should we get back to the discussion?

**MomBot5000:** SHUT UP WE’RE PROTECCING THE CHILD

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** PROTECC THE FUCK OUTTA THAT CHILD

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Gonta is confused...but will try his best to understand. Because that’s what a true gentleman does!

**MomBot5000:** Precious beeb

**MomBot5000:** I will never let u see the ugly in the world

**Penis:** Anyway it was Miu final verdict

**Mikan2.0:** wow thanks kayayayayayayayayaayayayayayayday

**Baby Gangsta’:**...wot?

**Penis:** Ouma called me Kayayday and now everyone’s doing it

**Ishimom:** What happened to Kayaynight?

**Momdo:** Fuck gonta this is best boi ^

**MomBot5000:** fucking biased much?

**Momdo:** Ur one to talk 

_ Sombruh muted Mikan2.0 _

**Sombruh** : Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** This person almost strangled someone to death one time

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** HOW MANY TIMES  DO I GOTTA SAY K-K-KAZUICHI

**TheUltimatePervert:** *nods*

**ScreamingMountaindew:** WHAT

**ScreamingMountaindew:** I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I KNOW BUT IT’S FUN TO MESS WITH U

**ScreamingMountaindew:** I FEEL LIKE THIS IS HIYOKO TELLING ME THIS

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** THAT’S CUZ IT’S ME, HIYOKO  (ฅΦωΦ)ฅ

**Aho-gay:** The real Ibuki would never use that emoji!   
**“Young Master”:** Maybe we should find who’s the almost-murderer instead of bullying Kazuichi?

**Aho-gay:** Isn’t Fuyuhiko like the ultimate yakuza??

**“Young Master”:** HAH!   
**“Young Master”:** You think he can reach anyone’s neck?

**Baby Gangsta’:** NOT U TOO PEKO

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** It’s ok bro i feel ur pain

**Aho-gay:** Wbu peko?

**“Young Master”:** If i gotta strangle anyone not gunna leave the job undone

**Bitch:** It’s ok bro i feel ur pain

**Momdo:** C O N C E R N

**TheUltimatePervert:** I wish i could strangle someone…

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I MEAN NEKOMARU CAN GET REALLY FRIGGIN INTENSE SOMETIMES

**Thebestcouch:** MIGHT AS WELL COME CLEAN

**Baby Gangsta:** Mute that bitch^

_ Sombruh muted Thebestcouch _

**Yuri:** That person was me

**Penis:**...Did u like it?

**Yuri:** mmmm not really

**Yuri:** Also i have a girlfriend why would I?

**Bitch:** I mean

**Bitch:** Look at Mahiru

**AvocadoBoi:** Shuichi sprinted to my home right now to deliver a message

**AvocadoBoi:** He told me “Kaede plz stay away from Iruma ;-;”

**Baby Gangsta’:** Did he say it with the tears

**AvocadoBoi:** yes

**Bitch:** What a lil’ bitch

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**I have done thy Leon:** Ey y do u say that  every time u want to reveal a secret? It’s p stupid

Sombruh:  _ Shut fuck _

**Yuri:** Oh boi this one’s probs my favorite

**Yuri:** This person tried to peel a banana that wouldn’t open, was too stubborn to use a knife, and after an hour of trying he just layed down and cried while snuggling the banana.

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** Yeah, that is a good one

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZUICHI

**Baby Gangsta’:** Hell yeah kazuichi

**Momdo:** There’s no littler bitch

**Bitch:** Word^

**Tiddy:** Sorry my dood^

**ScreamingMountaindew:** U guys r so mean ;-;

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** So u don’t deny it?

**AvocadoBoi:** I saw him cry while trying to open a jar of mayo nope this bitch is microscopic

**StarWarts:** Final verdict

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** y didn’t u just use ur teeth to open the banana?

**TheUltimatePervert:** Yeah, those teeth are sharper than a really sharp tiddy y not?

**ScreamingMountaindew:** Miss me with that gay shit

**AvocadoBoi:** Kazuichi, I’m sorry to tell you this

**AvocadoBoi:** But have u realized

**AvocadoBoi:** That u uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**AvocadoBoi:** **_HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND_ **

**ScreamingMountaindew:** It was a joke chill

_ Sombruh muted ScreamingMountaindew _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Uh i couldn’t find any dirt on this person so

_ Sombruh muted Ishimom _

**Momdo:** It’s tru

**Momdo:** Legends say that best boi is a pure and perfect angel

**Souldier:** HAH

**Souldier:** GAAAAAAAAAY

**MomBot5000:** i assume ur talking about gonta

**Momdo:** _ you know i wasn’t talking about gonta _

**Momdo:** _ you know, Kirumi _

**BeeMovie’sNotaDeadMemeRight?:** Please, no fighting! Gonta hate to see friends fight D:

**MomBot5000:** Of course, best boi

**Momdo:** _ Is that biase i smell _

**MomBot5000:** I won’t  fight cuz best boi didn’’t want me to

**Momdo:** _ If u weren’t a lady i would fite u _

**I have done thy Leon:** oh mY GOD JUST START THE SPINNING BULLSHIT

**Sombruh:** Jeez chill

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning 

**DropurPantas;):** This one’s fucking diabolical

**DropurPantas;):** This person unironically wears socks-and-sandals and, get this,  **_fucking crocs_ **

**AvocadoBoi:** who tf is this asshole?

**Bitch:** Let’s see here…

**Bitch:** Who here is the lamest, most out-of-touch, most obnoxious person in this class?

**Bitch:** Yeah no it’s kaito final verdict

**StarWarts:** Maki roll plz ;~;

_ Sombruh muted StarWarts _

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** WOW MAKI

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** YOU SHOULD PROBABLY EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS MORE AND STOP BEING SUCH A TSUNDERE BITCH

**Bitch:** How bout

**Bitch:** U mcfuckoff

**Sombruh:** Goddamn how tf do u guys get all these right?

**KomaruNaegi:3:** I couldn’t honestly give less of a shit

 

**Alternate Titles:** “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”- Hanzo after finding out he was a cunt.


	50. This tooootally won't get old or anything pt.6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning 

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I FEEL LIKE I COULD REMIX THAT INTO A SICK ASS BEAT

**Sombruh:** How bbout u shut fuck

**Yuri:** This person got offered a cookie one time, bit into it, and yelled “THIS TASTES LIKE CRUNCHY ASS”

**Tiddy:** but

**Tiddy:** they were cookies!

**Tiddy:** u cant fuck up cookies!

**TheUltimatePervert:** Yes u can

**Penis:** I feel like since teruteru’s a chef he gets offered to eat a lot of stuff soooo

**Sherlcokc:** I never took him for the gordon ramsay type tho…

**TheUltimatePervert:** I may be a registered sex offender but im not THAT mean!

**MomBot5000:** C O N C E R N

**Aho-gay:** ok, who’s someone really crass and rude? 

**Baby Gangsta’:** DON’T GO LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

**“Young Master”:** HaH do u think ill let him have sweets? 

**Baby Gangsta’:**  PekO PLeAsE

**“Young Master”:** He doesn’t just look like a child he acts like one too

**MomBot5000:** AWWW THAT’S SO CUTE

**Souldier:** AGREEED

**Baby Gangsta’:** i oWN A FUCKING CRIME CLAN I COULD HAVE U ALL ASSASSINATED

**TheUltimatePervert:** the word assassinate has twice the amount of ass out of every other word.

**Bitch:** i

**Bitch:** u ruined my life

**AvocadoBoi:** let’s keep on track 

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** i mean...if it’s not fuyuhiko or teruteru, then i think it’s ibuki

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** WELL

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** IN MY DEFENCE

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** IT TASTED LIKE A BITTER CUCUMBER

**I have done thy Leon:** holy shit that’s some really crunchy ass

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** how does that even happen???

**TheUltimatePervert:** probably substitute sugar for cucumbers

**MomBot5000:** Or maybe the bitter came from too much vanilla extract

**TheUltimatePervert:** a beginner’s mistake

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** ACTUALLY I THINK THAT MIGHT’VE BEEN AN ACTUAL CUCUMBER AND I WAS JUST REAAAAAAAAAAALLY HIGH

**I have done thy Leon:** guess that explains why all my coke is gone :/

**Aho-gay:** But cucumbers aren’t bitter?

**Punkrockisn’tdead:** I’VE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD A CUCUMBER

**Bitch:** ibuki final verdict

_ Sombruh muted Punkrockisn’tdead _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** This person once punched a child in the face

**Penis:** Maki

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** Maki

**MomBot5000:** Maki

**AvocadoBoi:** Maki

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** Maki

**Bitch:** lol when have i ever kept that a secret? B)

**KomaruNaegi:3:** _ C O N C E R N _

**AvocadoBoi:** fakc

**Tiddy:** Who’re the most sadistic ppl in ur class alive?

**AvocadoBoi:** Ryoma and Maki r the most sadistic

**Sherlcokc** : So it isn’t maki and it sure as hell be ryomama

**Penis:** y?

**Sherlcokc:** cuz he IS a child

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** wait till i get my fukin tennis racket ill murder ur face

**Souldier** : As opposed to murdering her penor?

**Penis:** Uh who hangs out with kids enough to want to punch them in the face?

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** The only person that comes to mind is Kirumi...but she loves kids!

**Aho-gay:** It doesn’t make sense but it also does?

**MomBot5000:** look

**MomBot5000:** In my defense that child was fuyuhiko

**Baby Gangsta’:** SO IT WAS U U BASTARD  >:(

**Tiddy:** U didn’t know?

**Baby Gangsta’:** i was VERY drunk

**MomBot500:** same here

**Penis:** Final verdict is kkkkkirumi!

_ Sombruh muted MomBot5000 _

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** another one bites the dust…

**Momdo** :...really?

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** it’s a good song ok?

**Tiddy:** -_-

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;)** : This person once got their hat wet and, when asked why by someone else, they said that they were “swimming in pussy”

**Momdo:** I feel like hagakure would use that excuse if he was straight

**I have done thy Leon:** U can read my like a fucking porn mag ;-;

**Penis:** Uh the only 2 ppl who have hats are ryomama and himiko

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** I mean ryoma can literally swim in pussy if he wanted to 

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** first, gross

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** second, FIGHT ME ASSHOLE 

**Baby Gangsta’:** Ikr?

**Sherlcokc:** important question ryoma

**Sherlcokc:** r u gay or straight

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** idk im just angry and sad all the time

**Souldier:** BITCH SAME

**Aho-gay:** ok that helps

**Aho-gay:** i mean Himiko  _ is  _ a lesbian

**GundhamButMoreAnnoying:** in my defense i don’t have one

**Penis:** himiko is final verdict duh

_ Sombruh muted GundhamButMoreAnnoying _

**Sombruh:** Her secret was  _ supposed _ to be that she had a petting fetish but SOMEONE spoiled that!

**Bitch:** The only time ill thank tenko for anything probably

**Souldier:** savage

**Sombruh** : Also there are 16 ppl here, just like a normal classrom, just a lil fun fact

**Momdo:** how did i survive this long?

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** This person goes by the name “taternate” in online chat rooms

**BabyGangsta’:** i vote chiaki

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** y?

**BabyGangsta’:** ud be the kind of person who would be  “#quirky” like all the time

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Fair enough but i didn’t do that

**Aho-gay:** hah yea who would do that thats so dumb and gay right???

**“Young Master”:** Hinata i could practically hear ur nervous sweating from across the fucking world

**Aho-gay:** fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukkk

**TheUltimatePervert:** Take that final verdict to flavour town 

**Aho-gay:** in my defense i was like 11 at the time ok?

_ Sombruh muted Aho-gay  _

**Bitch:** terutretu dont ever say flavour town

**TheUltimatePervert:** oooh whatre u gonna do if i say it again? R u gunna tie me to a bed post and whip me? O yea im a bad boy ;)

**Bitch:** No im just going to skin you alive, cut off ur dick and feed it to ur family while i burn down their house and livelihood in front of u

**TheUltimatePervert:** A little more kinky but im still down ;)

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**DropurPantas;):** This person is just sad and lonely

**Penis:** Isn’t that, like, all of us?

**AvocadoBoi:** Don’t bring ur relationship privilege over here  >:(

**Penis:** D:

**Souldier:** pfft im sad and lonely what makes them so special?

**Penis:** Maki’s secret would be a lot more violent, and Amami doesn’t seem like the sad and lonely type…

**Bitch:** Hell yea

**Tiddy:** And there’s only one  other person  who constantly whines about being sad and lonely!

**SizeDoesn’tMatter:** In my defence im a midget so the only ppl attracted to me r legit only ppl who fetishize midgets

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Aw, that’s...actually really sad : <

**Momdo:** Yea when did this actually get tragic?

**Sherlcokc:** when Sayaka left

_ Sombruh muted SizeDoesn’tMatter _

**I have done thy Leon:** OH

**I have done thy Leon:** I just realized when chihiro does the little spinning thing it’s like

**I have done thy Leon:** a spinning wheel of fortune type deal

**Tiddy:**...you just realized that now?

**Bitch:** Tbh ur dumber than kokichi

**DropurPantas:**  maki u hurt me ;(

 

 **Alternate Titles:**  did u know that my life is hurt?,  for a little while i forgot komaru existed :P, i can't be the only one right?. Hanzo's such a cunt that he didn't deserve  to get that cool-ass casual skin for christmas, also he's totally gay for mccree which makes him just a liiiiiittle bit less of a cunt.


	51. DIP ME IN YA MONDAY MILK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oak nuggins

 

**Sombruh:** Wheel's spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Again, this person's just 100% pure cinnamon roll soooo

_ Sombruh muted BeeMovie'sNotaDeadMemeRight? _

**Baby Gangsta':** Wow that was cheap

**Momdo:** Same thiing happened to Kiyotaka but i didn't see u complain

**Baby Gangsta':** Yeah cuz Taka's boring and Gonta would've probably had a better secret anyways

**Bitch** : woag dass rude

**AvocadoBoi:** Maki ur in  no spot to call anyone rude

**Momdo:** Bitch ill fuck u up

**Baby Gangsta':** Come at me bro i'll fuck u up even harder

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Jesus Christ

**KomaruNaegi:3:** Touko just texted me 200 lenny faces and that isn't even an exaggeration

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Nicccceeee

**Sombruh:** ANYWAY

**Momdo:** Nope dis isn't over 1v1 me u slut

**Baby Gangsta':** Aight crack open that gamecube, melee, fox, final destination no items

**Momdo:**...that isn't what i meant

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** oooooo, can I come??

**KomaruNaegi:3:** I dunno, can u? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Sombruh:** AAAAAAANYYYYYYYYYWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

**Sombruh:** Wheel's spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Penis:** It’s down to the three of us, I’m getting goosebumps :3

**Sombruh:** This person read hentai manga in class one time, got caught, and blamed it on the wind

**Sherlcokc:** That’s the most ‘Hagakure’ sentence I’ve ever read

**I have done thy Leon:** HEY I DON’T EVEN READ MANGA!

**Bitch:** That’s exactly what someone who reads manga would say!

**“Young Master”:** Maki did u turn into Kaito

**TheUltimatePervert:** I’d still fuck it

**Penis:** Aw, Maki likes Kaito~ ^.^

**Bitch:** How about

**Bitch:** You all mcdie

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** to quote Ibuki: “YOU SHOULD PROBABLY EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS MORE AND STOP BEING SUCH A TSUNDERE BITCH.”

**Bitch:** Again

**Bitch:** Mcdie

**Souldier:** uh i dont know anyone who reads manga so fuck

**Sherlcokc:**...hm…

**Sherlcokc:** wIAT WE GOT THIS ALL WRONG

**Sherlcokc** : THIS PERSON  _ ISN’T  _ IN OUR  CLASS!

**Tiddy:** Then who in the ever-loving tiddy is it?

**AvocadoBoi:** Uh who’s the only person here not in hope’s peak ya dumbo

**Tiddy:** nO SWEARING ON THIS GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER

**Momdo:** Oh yeah i forgot komaru existed

**KomaruNaegi:3:** it’s ok so did my mom

**Momdo:** Oh…

**I have done thy Leon:** Final verdict before it gets too depressing

_ Sombruh muted KomaruNaegi:3 _

**Tiddy:** Oh jeez im sad now

**Tiddy:** I wish sakura was alive so that she could give me hugs ;^;

**TheUltimatePervert:** It’s ok im here  <3

**Tiddy:** ew

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person has purple pubes

**TheUltimatePervert:** And how’d u find that out? 

**Sombruh:** Science

**Penis:** Oh god im gunna throw up

**AvocadoBoi:** rude

**Penis:** Oh plz have u ever even seen purple pubes they’re gross

**AvocadoBoi:** Yes I did, I have purple pubes

**Penis:** WHY

**I have done thy Leon:** hah, gross

**Tiddy:** THIS IS A GOOD WHOLESOME CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER DO U WANT TO GET BANNED????

**TheUltimatePervert:** I wish someone would freak my bum

**Baby Gangsta’:** Just freak ur own bum

**TheUltimatePervert:** :O Holy shit u could do that???

**Sherlcokc:** In my defense it’s natural

**Sombruh:** No it isn’t

**I have done thy Leon:** hah, gross

_ Sombruh muted Sherlcokc _

**Sombruh:** The wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** I’m just getting all the ones today

**Sombruh:** This person jacks off with and to guns

**Penis:** AGAIN WITH THE PUBES

**Baby Gangsta’:** what, what do pubes have anything to do with this?

**Penis:** JUST

**Penis** : PUBES

**I have done thy Leon:** hah, pubes

**I have done thy Leon:** also ur name is penis, that’s like irony

**Penis:** R u high?

**I have done thy Leon:** Extremely

**Tiddy:** He ate 50 pot brownies on his own

**Bitch:** Wouldn’t that, like, kill you though?

**Baby Gangsta’:** depends on the amount of weed u put in them

**Baby Gangsta’:** also it takes 1500 pounds eaten in 15 minutes to do that so no

**I have done thy Leon:** hell yea i can have more brownies

**Bitch:** Some day ur gunna die tho u know that?

**Souldier:** Luckkyyyy

**AvocadoBoi:** I feel like we should get back on track…

**Baby Gangsta’:** Yeah whatever u say purple-pubes

**AvocadoBoi:** you motherfucker

**I have done thy Leon:** Would calling Oedipus a mother-fucker be an insult or a compliment?

**AvocadoBoi:** _ you fatherfucker _

**Penis** : If Oedipus was gay would we say fatherfucker instead of motherfucker?

**AvocadoBoi:** Not u too Kaede I thought u were scared ;_;

**Bitch:** _ Nothing is sacred _

**Tiddy:** Can we stop talking about Oedipus?

**DropurPantas;):** FUCK OEDIPUS SHOULD’VE BEEN KOREKIYO’S NICKNAME

**Momdo:** gOD FUCKING DAMMIT

**Tiddy:** PLEASE BACK ON-TOPIC

**Momdo:** Mukuro’s the only one that uses guns so probably her

**I have done thy Leon:** Ur mom uses guns

**I have done thy Leon:** heh

**Momdo:** My mom’s dead tho

**Penis:** Oh shit really?

**Momdo:** Probably idk

**Souldier:** eyyy buddies

**Momdo:** Mukuro dIE

**Souldier:** D:

_ Sombruh muted Souldier _

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning 

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** This person likes to say “dip me in ya monday milk” unironically

**Baby Gangsta’:** What?

**HeyIplayvideogamedidyouknowthat?:** Fuyuhiko u normie

**Tiddy:** Ey nice

**“Young Master”:** I don’t know much about memes, neither does Fuyuhiko

**“Young Master”:** So it boils down to either Chiaki or TeruTeru

**I have done thy Leon:** TeruTeru looks like dipped milk

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat:** Ok when did Hagakure say things that made sense but also didn’t?

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** It was definitely TeruTeru final verdict

**TheUltimatePervert:** Mama’s got the nasty jam ;-;

**Bitch:** McM U T E

_ Sombruh muted TheUltimatePervert _

**I have done thy Leon:** Fuck, there are only 6 people left

**I have done thy Leon:** 3 from each class

**Tiddy** : U shouldnt’ve survived this much…

  
**Alternate Titles:** fuCK I GOT DIPPED IN SOME MONDAY MILK, this was a really gross chapter im sorry, at least TeruTeru died cuz fuck that guy, Hanzo doesn’t even know how to freak his own bum what a disgraceful cunt.


	52. The end...of the end.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;-;

**Momdo:** Fuck so what’s up I kinda blanked out for a couple days

**Tiddy:** Only me, Hagakure, Kaede, Maki, Rantarou, Chiaki, Fuyuhiko, and Peko are left

**Momdo:** Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

**Momdo:** So what happens when everyone’s out?

**Sombruh:** Ur about to find out real soon

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Momdo:** o ur still doing the little spinning wheel bullshit

**Sombruh:** This person enjoys reading tentacle hentai

**AvocadoBoi:** Off to a great start

**Tiddy:** It’s pretty obvious it’s Hagakure

**Momdo:** Yeah, his hair even looks like a bunch of tentacles lol

**I have done they Leon:** fuck dude im so hungover and high rn

**Baby Gangsta’:** Not fun

**Sombruh:** Well shit I just realized that this is going to be super easy now that there are less people :/

**Sombruh:** Eh

_ Sombruh muted I have done thy Leon _

**Penis:** I kind of wanted to see him make it to finals

**Penis:** Just cuz it’s Hagakure

**“Young Master”:** Yeah man

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning 

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Dropurpantas;):** This person fucked an avocado

**Momdo:** So sexual jesus fuck

**Bitch:** Well I know it’s either Kaede or Rantarou cuuuz

Penis: HMMMMMMMM I WONDER IF IT’S THE GUY NAMED AVOCADOBOI

**Tiddy:** Avocados are gross

**AvocadoBoi:** YOU SHUT UR WHORE MOUTH AVOCADOS ARE GODS GIFT TO MAN

**Momdo:** No gummy bears are

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Avocados are gross yeah i agree

**AvocadoBoi:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

**AvocadoBoi:** SUCK A BIG FAT COKC

**Tiddy:** I wonder who in here would say ‘don’t mind if i do ;)’ if they were still alive…

**Bitch:** Miu

**Penis:** Miu

**Baby Gangsta’:** Miu

**Momdo:** Miu

**Tiddy:** ehhh idk i think junko would say that

**AvocadoBoi:** Nah, ouma would for sure

**Dropurpantas;):** hell yea i would 

**Penis:** hah

_ Sombruh muted AvocadoBoi _

**Sombruh** : Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** This person once tried to pet a dog but almost died cuz of allergies

**“Young Master”:** Hah i remember that. It was so worth it

**Tiddy:** peKO UR ALLERGIC TO DOGS?????

**“Young Master”:** Uh...yeah?

**Momdo:** I can’t even fathom living a life that painful

**Bitch:** Legit my pet dog is the only thing preventing me from slaughtering everyone

**Tiddy:** 0-0

**Penis:** I can testify

**Momdo:** What kind of dog?

**Bitch:** Pit-bull

**Momdo:** AWWWW

**Tiddy:** pit-bulls are big ol’ sweeties

**Baby Gangsta’:** yeah i fukin love em

**“Young Master”:**...can I pet em?

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** pit bulls are the worst wtf r u guys talking about??

**Penis:** first avocados now PITBULLS??

**Penis:** Have you no soul?

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Hah jokes on u i sold my soul to satan for 1 corn chip

**Bitch:** Bitch saaame

**Baby Gangsta’:** oh yeah bi peko

**“Young Master”:** Remember me in the afterlife :^)

**Baby Gangsta’:** will do babe

_ Sombruh muted “Young Master” _

**Tiddy:** fuCK I WASNT SUPPOSED TO  CRY ;-;

**Tiddy:** HE CALLED HER BABE THAT’S SO PRECIOUS

**Baby Gangsta’:** Shut ur fuck im a gangster

**Sombruh:** FUCK

**Sombruh:** I SHOULD’VE MADE PEKO’S NAME MAMA GANGSTA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Momdo:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Penis:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Bitch:** Die

**Baby Gangsta’:** Die

**Sombruh:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** This person once ate 200 donuts in one sitting

**Momdo:** fUCK asahina thats a lot of fucking donuts

**Bitch:** Yeah like how do u even stay in shape?

**Tiddy:** I aint the ultimate swimming pro for nuthin :3

**Penis:** man im jealous 

**Penis:** I wish i could eat that many donuts ;-;

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** I do that but all the  fat goes to my tits so yea

**Momdo:** As a homosexual i am oFFENSDED

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** hah

_ Sombruh muted Tiddy _

**Momdo:** So lonely ;~;

**Penis:** 00f

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Dropurpants;):** This person is huge fucking pervert

**Penis:**  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Bitch:** wtf

**Momdo:** never took u for the pervert kind

**Penis:** Im not a pervert!   
**Baby Gangsta’:** Sounds like something a pervert would say!

**Bitch:** And Kaito’s legacy lives on…

**Momdo:**...I ship it

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Hah same

**Baby Gangsta’:** yes

**Penis:** U two would be the cutest couple  <3

**Bitch** : D I E

**Momdo:** I had a dream i had a pet pitbull

**Momdo:** And then he whispered into my ear

**Momdo:** ‘boof’

**Momdo:** Like the shortest, softest little boof

**Momdo:** And then I laughed  so hard i woke up

**Bitch:** y r u telling me this?

**Momdo:** Cuz pit bulls are fukin gr8

**Bitch:** they are 

_ Sombruh muted Penis _

**Bitch:** lonely once again…

**Sombruh:** Wheel’s spinning

**Sombruh:** Spinning    
**Sombruh:** Spinning

**Yuri:** This person played DDLC and thought it was garbage

**Baby Gangsta’:** Wow chiaki u have really trash opinions

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** Well it’s a dumb creepy pasta thing! It’s dumb and gay and dumb

**Momdo:** Good thing ur not the ultimate critic

**HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat?:** >:(

_ Sombruh muted HeyIplayvideogamesdidyouknowthat? _

**Baby Gangsta’:** Ok only 3 remain now what?

**Sombruh:** Now

_ Sombruh kicked Baby Gangsta’, Bitch, and Momdo from Gay Baby Jail _

**Yuri:** Wow that was kinda cheap

**Sombruh:** Yea I know

**DropurPantas;):** Booooo

**Sombruh:** ok u know what stfu

_ Sombruh kicked everyone from Gay Baby Jail _

**Sombruh** : Hah! How do u like that!   
**Sombruh:** Oh…

**Sombruh:** Ok im bored

_ Sombruh deleted Gay Baby Jail _

 

**Alternate Titles:** k im not going to mess around with the alternate titles shit, this fic’s over.

 

So, I started this way back in fucking  _ July _ my doods.

 

It’s been a good 8 months, but I have to move on to greater things. It’s been a wild-ass ride getting here, and damn if I didn’t enjoy every single second of writing this fic. I’m taking a break from AO3, but I’ll be doing a lot of stuff over on Danganronpa Amino, my tag’s Thebloodykirby if any of you guys are interested. But no really, I’ve had buckets of fun making this fic, and I hope this ending was satisfying or whatever. I might come back to write more in a couple months, but only time will tell.

 

Anyway, hope you guys have a wonderful Monday!

 

Also, I’ve ragged on Hanzo a lot, but he’s not  _ that  _ big of a cunt…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nah Hanzo’s still a big fat cunt and he can go suck a dick.

**Author's Note:**

> HAH I MADE U LOOK AT THE END NOTES B)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Naeggi and the Hell-ish Chatroom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13254810) by [perrisins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perrisins/pseuds/perrisins)




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